Codename: Jackass

mods please change NaBraniel's name to NaBundy.

I just miss when Fuse had music videos all day. I missed the boat on MTV and Fuse was great back in 7th grade.

Sorry man.

barely

Doin' alright buddy?

excellent bone structure

JUST UNFUCK MY SHIT 2017

"He's like a man with a fork in a world of soup."

I would never pass as a trap.

You've just got to accept that it's going to look awkward before it grows long enough for gravity to do its job.

I haven't visited a barber in five years. I should probably cut my hair but I'm a lazy fuck.

Now that the gang's all here, what's the agenda for today?

BRENDAN DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT G E T H I M A R O L E E T H I M A R O L E

I'm very discouraged by the tone of this post.

The pouring rain outside masks the tears streaming down his face. He hasn’t had a good acting role in ages. He can barely scrape a living, the alimony’s eating away at his living standards. It’s a dingy little barber shop on a back street, there are no customers but him. He sits on the seat, looks at his sorry face in the mirror in front of him for a moment and bawls out in emotional agony. His head falls into his hands, and he quietly sobs until the barber begins to speak. “What cut do you want, Brendan?” Brendan looks deep into the barber’s eyes, his own eyes now redder than the stripes on the barber pole outside. “Just fuck my shit up.” “Brendan, I’ve told you a thousand times you have to stop doing this to yourse-” “I SAID FUCK MY SHIT UP!” The barber freezes. “WHAT PART OF ‘FUCK MY SHIT UP’ DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?” Brendan thrusts a hundred dollar bill into the barber’s hand. “JUST DO IT.” The barber lets out a half-hearted sigh; really, he’s happy. He just got a hundred dollars to fuck a guy’s shit up. After half an hour, it is complete. Brendan gazes upon himself once more in the mirror. “It’s terrible. Thank you, fam.” “It’s a pleasure,” the barber says. Brendan stumbles out of the barber shop and collapses into a puddle outside. That $100 was all the money he had left. Alimony’s due tomorrow. Looks like Brendan’s sleeping rough tonight.

Press F to pay respects. You deserved better Tony, but you went out on your own terms. F

you know what I used to hate when people would say it to me? "turn that frown upside down"

Yeah but it's Dove for men so people will smell my hands and think that I use regular soap for a big man, a big boy.

No I'm soft with some crunchy bits.

It's alright, I'm here now.

I'm not particularly worried about it.

I don't know, I figured the lathering action was the important thing for removing dirt and germs.

That's a powerful hmmmmmm.

explain