Codename: Jackass

the age old question has remained: "Are we alone in the Universe?" As our tools for exploring this vast expanse continue to improve, the answer to our question comes more clearly into focus. The answer: fuck if I know, but those weird lights I saw in the sky once were pretty creepy.

I can definitely do backyard beers if I'm with some friends shooting the shit. A bonfire is a bonus but not essential.

Yeah they probably did but I don't remember.

Yeah well one time I was playing beer pong at a house party and I raised my head too quick and hit it on the chandelier conveniently placed at a six foot height.

Sometimes you gotta microdose psilocybin and sometimes you gotta go whole hog.

The one thing I dread about fall is how everyone and their dog is posting blog posts about "muh pumpkin spice amazeballs". Kill me.

Good to see Atlantic City has managed to out-sleaze the Donnie.

Yeah but there are a lot of bugs in my backyard.

Yeah but sometimes I want to choose whether or not to lay down.

I find this concept of "blogging" to be a strangely human phenomenon. I must conduct more research so I may understand its significance.

Just find one that licenses his name then, they'll get the message.

Damn, damn, damn.

No, I've had about 18oz of beer in the past hour. I'm just thinking about how bad it would be to have uncontrollable falling down.

Thanks for reading my blog.

Crickets chirpin', breeze breezin', cat purrin'.

Smear shit on the walls of the Trump one. Or did that one close already?

One night I dreamed that I stole a drill gun from the scene shop at my old university and my boss was really pissed off and they sent the University PD after me and I was trying to run away but kept falling down over and over and couldn't stop hitting the trigger on the drill.

Fuck, man.

Nice, dude.

He's be a lot more fun to have around if he'd just chill the fuck out and stop letting people bother him so bad. He needs actual therapy instead of just toking up all the time, it's not healthy.

Phillies has probably shamefully jacked it to futa more than once.

Reported

Plot twist: the Smoke Monster from Lost makes an appearance. Written by Damon Lindelof.

Most people at Walmart need to sit down to piss anyway because they can't find their genitals due to being amorphous blobs.