Blackrose321

Snapdragon Beef Pho That's about all my energy level could handle "cooking" this evening by the time I was done making dinner for my husband. He's been so incredible through everything that I didn't want to punk out and not make him something. But now I think I am ready for bed...

I'm watching my friend's cats while she's away. I've got a lot going on so it's been a little stressful since they need to be fed twice a day and they're picky eaters. The oldest cat also poops on the bathroom floor when he's in a bad mood... The thing is, I think he does it because her newest adoptee has what can be best described as radioactive bowel movements. She's so tiny, the teeniest little thing, but she shits like a grown man. Stank me right out of the room. I don't blame the old fella for refusing to use the litter box after she's dropped a nuke in it. I think she's got some kind of gastrointestinal thing - big belly, picky eater, gassy, and those bowel movements - so my friend asked me to call the vet to set up an appointment, especially since it's been such a challenge to feed her. She's out in the wilderness so texting is fine but sustained phone calls can be iffy. Get this - the vet has a policy that they referred to as "HIPAA for cats". They wouldn't let me bring her in, they wouldn't even let me schedule an appointment for when my friend is back. They told me to either take her to the emergency vet or have my friend call back on Monday. Admittedly, I got a bit bitchy. I said, "So there's no concern that she hasn't been eating consistently for 2-3 days, we can wait until Monday?" She snapped, "I didn't say that." My point in phrasing it that way was to walk her through the practical implications of such a shithead policy. Calling it "HIPAA for cats" doesn't mean it makes sense. She never did explain what the reason for the policy is, she just said I couldn't have anything to do with her records. I never asked for her records, all I needed was an appointment on the calendar...and wtf kind of "records" could a kitten have? Jfc she doesn't have an SSN, I'm not trying to open a credit card! I got the feeling they were busy and just saw an opportunity to get rid of me and move on to the next caller. So I just hung up. My friend had to call later and she apologized, so there's that at least.

Fuck PTSD, honestly fuck it. After losing two brothers less then three years apart I am so scared of losing anyone else that it hurts. I'm staying at a friend's place to watch her pets, I tried to call and text my husband a dozen+ times, but he didn't answer. I tried everything. I called him on FB, I called him on Discord, I even sent food to the apartment in the hopes that something would get his attention, wake him up, whatever. Nothing did. As it turns out he was fine, he was just sleeping in. Until 1pm. 12 hours of sleep. I don't care how long he sleeps but holy shit not knowing nearly had me doubled over the toilet puking in fear. He dropped me off at my friend's place so I had no way to drive over myself, I had to get my MiL involved. I feel like such a broken person today.

The first offer to come in was for $30k under asking and we listed well below everyone around us to start with. We are literally the cheapest house on the market at this size, in this area. Now, there are two houses listed within his budget, also in the same area. They just have 600 less square footage and 1 less bedroom. I'd rather wait, that kind of lowball offer is actually kind of offensive in how stupid it is. ETA: They're also on half of the land, wtf?... 2 more days and then I won't have to come and go for showings.

I just got billed $400 (out of $1800) for an ER visit in which no service was rendered. Not a single test, not a single medication. No one came to check on me, not once. They dumped me on a cold, damp bed and ignored me while I had a seizure. They even laughed in my face. And you want $1800 for that? They told me to contact my insurance. For the first time like...ever...my insurance is not the problem. And I'm not calling to ask them to pay for a service that no one received. Get fucked, my doctor already told me not to pay and that what happened was illegal. Don't wanna wipe the fee? Fine. I'll contact the Department of Health. What I won't do is write you assholes a check.

Why are people coming to see my house if they can't afford it? Two have come to see it only to say it's too expensive for the repairs it needs. What repairs? The roof? 2 years old. The solar panels? 2 years old. The HVAC? 4 years old. The water heater? 2 years old. If they're talking about the kitchen not being sexxxy enough I'll give you that but it's not broken, it doesn't need to be "repaired". And if we do that "repair" ourselves, we're only going to increase the price anyways. Why schedule a showing of a house you would be stretching to afford as it is? Do what you want for yourself, but please stop wasting my time. I have to leash three dogs and cage two cats every time someone wants to see the house, and I'm pretty sure one of my cats is plotting parenticide.

Why bother to create a wireframe if you are going to disregard it 97% of the time? I'm about to tear my hair out.

It definitely takes a certain kind of person, and/or some amount of practiced organization. It's not for everyone. I work off and on throughout the day which works for me because I "blip", as I call it (might be ADD, that testing is in progress lol). I mentally check in, I mentally check out. I cook, I work, I clean, I work, I nap, I play a video game, oh look an email just came in at 8pm so I answer the email, etc. I get my work done but in between life stuff which feels better than past experiences. I once had a boss who thought it was reasonable to do split shifts. Bitch, you don't even pay me enough for a regular shift, shove that shit up your ass. I also went to high school online so I had to learn pretty early to be self-driven. My public school was awful so it was really the only option open to me. I guess I just adapted from there.

As long as we can swap out parts like a Lego person some day, cool.

I love working from home, the number of idiots and assholes I have to converse with has dropped significantly. Congrats and welcome to the party!

Oh I miss those kinds of naps. Maybe I'll try to get one in today.

A cucumber "sandwich". I got a large cucumber, cut it in half, and put ham, cheese, and onion inside with some raspberry walnut dressing. I figured I'd just eat with a knife and fork but quickly realized I really should have just diced it all up in a bowl...

A mess of my life.

Still this. Am I depressing or what? lol

Nuggets, fries, coleslaw, and anxiety.

"I don't read my emails, when I see 'Hi, Blackrose321' I just stop reading." Explains so much of why we're always late with things...I'm basically just an answering machine with babysitting capabilities.

I am proud to say that I did not chicken out! I love it and already want to plan for another but my husband is telling me to slow down...

I'm getting my very first tattoo this weekend, I'm so excited! I can't wait to see the artwork, I keep checking my email. 😅

I try not to discuss politics very often, it's just not a pleasant experience these days, what with everything being a circus. But the more I think about PSLF, the madder I get. The only reason we need it is because funding to nonprofits got cut, and is still getting cut year after year. That impacts wages, even for jobs that require degrees. They basically took away wages that were fairly earned, then shoved them into a bullshit "forgiveness" program so that hillbillies and rednecks could gripe/brag about "paying off someone's art degree" for them. But the math just ain't there. My last library job had to post openings with two wage bands - one for if you are new to the system, one for if you were grandfathered into the previous, far better contract. This is decided not on years of experience, workload, success rate, etc. It's purely whether you've been in the library for long enough. You just gotta be old. Not only did we lose benefits but we also lost, I shit you not, $10,000 a year. PSLF takes at least 10 years. Ignoring any CoL increases on top of a higher wage or potential promotions, that's $100,000 pre-tax that we've been denied. PSLF doesn't end up forgiving anywhere near that. It's a net loss. On top of that, we get to hear Boomers bitching about "paying for our mistakes" when they STILL OWE US MONEY. To make it even worse, we paid THOUSANDS more in tuition, we commute significantly further because CoL is too high, and we often end up doing more work because we're better with technology. We take the shit shifts because our contracts don't limit them anymore and, frankly, working in nonprofits is an exercise in patience, at best. I'll never go back, you can't take me alive!

My friend's cat just died. She hadn't had him for long and he was so young. Life is just so sad sometimes.

Spontaneous Taco Bell runs are what make life worth living.

https://www.eatingwell.com/recipe/256519/roasted-cauliflower-potato-curry-soup/ It only took me a week to actually make it but it turned out well.

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/286122/honey-lime-chicken/ My husband cooked, otherwise my dinner would have been a bagged salad.