jackiemarie90

I don’t like it 😩

Yeah I just got avoid the guy who I sit next to for the rest of semester, and maybe next because we are planning on taking the same class. 😆

But what if my heart is going ba THUMP over and over

Well a lot of social activities scare the shit out of me even though I can run my mouth for awhile. 😅 I was bullied a lot as a kid, school and home and I’m constantly afraid of being made fun of again. Plus I haven’t maintained relationships since then. I just constantly find myself alone.

I think I’m just so scared cause I used to have best friends to hang out with but someone else in my life at the time decided to get involved and now I don’t have any in person really anymore.

Hopefully everything goes smooth. 😅

Well I already bought tickets but maybe next time. 😁

Well the students are happy school is cancelled for 2 days.

Well I'm not being specific. I'm too insecure though, that is true and I still don't know how to deal with that. lol I've been monitoring it, there is no purchases on it. I haven't picked it up yesterday because there are city wide planned black outs happening in Berkeley and I think that business is closed but was planning getting it today. I left it at the tab area.

They say confidence is everything >_>

sounds like a good day.

More like overwhelmed by talking to a ton of people and constantly wondering if I am acting weird or wondering if they are judging me. lol

Happy birthday! 🎉

Was gonna go to the gym again with a friend Tuesday night. But she was hungry and wanted to grab a bite, and we ran into more classmates at a bar. This time a lot of the group was comprised of my mentors though. I told her I rather hang out with them than go to the gym, but she was down to hang out. I immediately start drinking with them and then later getting high with them. OmG like everyone here does, I swear it just really is that stressful here than every just takes thc. Ok so like, I'm not really here to catch feelings, but last week during my shitty midterm, I was caught crying waiting for my bus by one of my mentors. He is a stem major and he said that like he was will to tutor me if I need help and honestly that was like a really weird thing to hear I after I made that thread talking about how desperate I was to do well in my math class. >__> Plus I always freak out when people are nice to me, it's weird I'm used to people treating me like trash. <__< And he did actually try to help me with the midterm but there were some concepts he was unfamiliar with that they don't always teach in all calc classes that they made us learn here. lol And he is hot, but like the really irritating hot that's just so unnecessary and distracting. Like I'm here to learn. lol Anyways everyone wanted to see the new Joker movie, and I was down to go, so like 6 of us pile in a small 5 person car to the theatre. lol I forgot my bank card at the bar (it's still there lol) and I venmo someone money to pay for my ticket. While waiting out side before the show, I'm smoking cigarettes with my mentor and he start talking about comic books. And of course, this man is being so nice and generous, that for some god damn reason I feel the need to brag how I know more about comic than most people. 😆 When we walk into the theater, he sees that they have those bars and ordered me another drink with 2 shots. lol My group was being ghetto and talking through the movie lol. What made this day different? No one tried to grab me and I was even dropped off to my dorm at the end of the night. Anyways, why say all this? Because I don't know what the fuck I am doing lol wat would u do? I'm going to an edm concert tomorrow and he is driving me there, gonna meet another person from over there. Wat do, how do I be normal.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! 🎊🎉

Midoriya my boy

Coven in my fav But Roanoke was genuinely frightening. lol

Xylitol is an artificial sweetener that has 0 calories. I used to love putting it in my coffee and teas when I used to live across the street from a whole foods. lol But I do know that if you consume too much xylitol, like idk 4 sugar size packets of it, you can get diarrhea pretty easily. I know it's in a shit ton of gum packs and you can find it in alot of places.

Doo eet, I'll sit in the audience but maybe that's it.

I don't want to be on t.v.

Nah but it's also good if no one does too. lmao

lol thats what people think, but no one really went to my DMs. Plus people here are really chill too which is cool.

I guess, just looking for friends for now. I'm kinda irked at getting back in a relationship for a bit. I really need to freaking focus at school. I dropped another class, so now I'm taking 2. My calc class and my ethnic studies networking class. They really stress getting a 3.0 here.

Well I'm invited to a concert friday, so there's that. All of sudden people wanna be social with me lol

To not have one to not get caught and not get my other crimes tied together.