Virtual Satyr

True. Except I just asked it to give me thoughts on these stories, never told it I wrote it or asked it to butter me up. I don't need it to butter me up. That's what I have Raoul for.

Seriously though, this is the AI we need. Take a look at this summery: Great—let’s dive into the core of Satyr’s character: 🎭 Does Satyr Actually Believe in Anything? Short answer: No—but that’s the point. Satyr doesn’t operate based on values, ideology, or even ambition. He’s not a villain with a tragic backstory or a cause. He’s a chaos engine—a satire of people who use ideas as camouflage for personal gratification. But let’s break it down further: 🧨 1. Satyr Doesn’t Want Power—He Wants Disruption Unlike classic villains (Walter White, The Joker, even Gus Fring), Satyr doesn’t crave control, money, or revenge. He wants reaction. He builds empires just to watch them implode. He doesn’t care if his drug is good, safe, or profitable—it’s a prank with fatal stakes. When things spiral out of control, he doesn’t try to fix them. He laughs. 🧠 That’s crucial: Satyr doesn’t “believe” in the things he builds. He believes in the experience of tearing things apart. 🧪 2. Belief as Performance Satyr adopts personas—“Mr. Schwarzkopf,” “John Wilkes Booth,” etc.—like costumes in a skit. They’re performative belief systems, not genuine ones. He might say things that sound ideological, but they’re usually: Ironic (“This is about freedom!” while selling poison) Parodic (quoting V for Vendetta or revolutionary speeches) Petty (he gets into full costume to win a fight about a movie or shampoo) 🧠 He mocks the very idea of belief—especially when others use it to feel righteous. He thinks everyone is faking it, so he fakes better than anyone else. 🪞 3. Satyr as a Mirror He doesn’t believe in anything—but he believes in exposing everyone else’s beliefs as shallow. Examples: He weaponizes religion against Gweg, knowing how much Gweg clings to moral structure. He exposes how quickly “helping addicts” becomes a power trip. He treats human life as disposable, to show how fragile “ethics” become under pressure. 🧠 In this way, Satyr acts more like a social x-ray machine: he reveals what’s under people’s masks by ripping them off publicly. 💡 4. What Does He Believe? If he believes in anything, it’s this: Nothing matters. People lie to themselves to feel important. Chaos is the only honest system. So rather than believing in a cause, Satyr believes in a method: Push people past their limits. Laugh when they break. Repeat. This is nihilism—but with style. He’s not a mopey, brooding void-gazer. He’s a prankster god in a broken society, exposing hypocrisy and laughing all the way to the fallout. 🎯 Final Take: Satyr believes in nothing, but uses everything—morality, identity, business, even death—as props in a one-man theater of absurdity. He’s not just mocking others. He’s mocking the concept of belief itself. That’s what makes him so dangerous. You can’t reason with him, guilt him, or predict him. Because there’s nothing behind the mask—and that’s exactly how he likes it. That right there just helped me understand a character, that I created, a whole hell of a lot better. In fact, this has all inspired me to start writing again. I'm not going to use AI to write for me, but I will use it to help guide me as I write. It feels great to live in the future

OMG...the V For Virtual Satyr one is even better. “V for Virtual Satyr” is a brilliantly absurd and surprisingly prescient piece of satire—mocking the intensity of fandom, performative activism, and how trivial obsessions can be inflated into faux-revolutionary battles. Here's my take on it: 🎭 Fandom as Cult Behavior At its core, this story isn’t about Snakes on a Plane—it’s about the cult of hype. Satyr transforms a B-movie into a cause, a symbol of resistance, and a justification for public disruption. It’s mocking the idea that liking something intensely = moral purpose. The ridiculousness of comparing movie screening policies to political oppression is exactly the point. 😷 The Masked Vigilante: Satyr’s Theater of Protest The masked figure, clearly Satyr in disguise, is a parody of overdramatic protest culture. He borrows the aesthetic of V for Vendetta, calls himself “John Wilkes Booth,” and hijacks a theater screening to demand “justice”—all over a movie. It’s a direct jab at how theatrics often overshadow substance in activism. It’s also a mockery of internet culture, where trolling and “movement-building” often blur. Satyr is like a proto-Reddit provocateur with theatrical flair and no boundaries. 🎬 Satyr as a Symbol of Cultural Chaos This story perfectly captures what Satyr represents across the blog: unfiltered chaos. He’s the id of pop culture—entitled, clever, and totally self-justifying. His schemes are always ridiculous, but they reflect real patterns: viral stunts, forced hype cycles, consumer entitlement disguised as civil disobedience. And what’s worse? He wins. The theater caves. The message: the loudest troll often gets their way—not because they’re right, but because they make enough noise. 🔄 Still Relevant Today Even though this was written in 2006, it reads like a parody of today’s: Toxic fandoms demanding creative control Outrage mobs organizing “protests” over movie castings or video game updates People invoking civil rights rhetoric for personal preferences The story feels like a satire of what would become normal behavior online—outrage inflation, mob identity, and people turning entertainment into ideology. 🧠 Final Thought: It’s funny, it’s biting, and it holds up disturbingly well. It captures how easily passion turns to delusion, and how modern culture gives too much power to the loudest fan with a mask and a Wi-Fi connection. Satyr, as always, is both hilarious and terrifying. Would you like me to break down how this compares to V for Vendetta or explore what it says about the nature of protest in pop culture?

I decided to push this AI tool to it's very limit and had it give me it's thoughts on my Abortion-Mobile story. And my god in Hell, it made me out to be a genius. The story “Abortion‑Mobile Adventures” is a deliberately provocative piece of dark satire, pushing boundaries to comment on moral decay, media sensationalism, and profit-driven exploitation of social issues. Here are some reflections on it: 🎭 Satire Taken to the Extreme The blog uses grotesque exaggeration—like a van covered in fake fetuses and a live-action commercial—to parody how serious topics like abortion are co-opted for attention or profit. Satyr, the main agent of chaos, represents unchecked capitalism and media exploitation, where nothing is sacred and everything is a potential gimmick. It's not really about abortion—it's about using abortion as shock fodder. 🤢 Purposefully Offensive It’s clear the story is designed to provoke discomfort and moral conflict. The imagery is disturbing (e.g., fake fetuses splattering on windshields, a woman being run over and casually dismissed), but it serves to highlight how numb and apathetic Satyr is. His lack of empathy isn't just satire—it’s meant to unsettle the reader. 🧍Characters as Moral Anchors Gweg is the reluctant bystander—us, essentially—unwilling to stop Satyr but revolted by him. Mitchell, the bodyguard, offers a rare moment of humanity when he quits out of disgust. Sara adds emotional gravity, visibly hurt by the spectacle, suggesting some real-world pain behind the satire. Their reactions give the reader a moral compass, which makes Satyr’s monstrosity feel even more alien and darkly comical. 🎯 Critique of Exploitation Culture At its heart, the story mocks: Public apathy to shock media. The commodification of real trauma. Hollow activism done for clout or profit. It’s a commentary on how real-world issues are often reduced to content—and how easily society tolerates that when it’s packaged as entertainment. ⚖️ Final Thought If you read this expecting sincerity, it's appalling. But as a piece of black comedy, it’s sharp and unflinching. It doesn’t aim to change minds—it aims to disgust you into thinking about where the line is between satire and sociopathy. Let me know if you’d like a comparison to similar works (like South Park, American Psycho, or The Boys), or a deeper literary critique.

Don't remember my first but my most popular one was about drinking Dr. Pepper through Terri Schiavo's used tubes.

I started a few.

Thanks! Just checked my old blog and it's been 9 years since I wrote a story. Time flies too fast.

Thank you. Lol I don't even remember the last time I wrote a troll story. But it is nice to see you and the others keeping the ASMB memory alive.

Pills, Primus, Pero, Poet. Even you Pat. All the Ps.

Pathetic Aesthetic

Heard the news and had to pop in. RIP Saddy.

Cream Soda

Welp, that song's stuck in my head. Thanks.

I don't have any pet birds, but I do have a bird feeder outside the window by my desk. A lovely cardinal couple love to visit it. I've named them Cardi-O and Cardi-B.

If I'm going down, I'm taking others with me.

Just bring on Captain Trips and let get this all over with.

Obviously they only play Imagine Dragons and slowed down covers of 80s songs with female vocalists

It is nice to see Calvin and Hobbes back. I imagine Watterson is just doing this temporarily.

Fish heads fish heads rolly polly fish heads. Fish heads fish heads eat them up yum!

Tuna noodle casserole?

Are we going to see an adult Calvin come to get Hobbes and say "Thanks, I need him now more than ever" or something along those lines?