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Dysfunctional Titans


1938_Packard

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Narrator:

Our story begins at Titan Tower. Raven is seated at the dining table reading a newspaper. Beast Boy is seated nearby reading a manga. Robin is a few feet away at his desk poring over the household bills.

Robin:

"What!? $2,780 for a new fridge? That’s the last time I let Cyborg do the shopping. Darn him and his obsession with high tech. What was wrong with the old fridge anyway?"

Raven:

"Silkie ate it"

Robin:

"Why doesn’t anybody take that magot to the dump to eat? It’s a veritible buffet for him and it’s free!"

Beast Boy:

"He doesn’t like junk food."

Starfire: **shuffles in slowly**

"Please as not to converse so loudly. I’m hanging over."

Robin:

"Well, look who finally decided to get out of bed. Good afternoon."

Raven:

"Too much lemonade again? If citric acid is intoxicating to you, why do you keep drinking it?"

Starfire:

"It’s just so delicious. I can’t resist it."

Beast Boy:

"Sign up for Lemons Anonymous."

Cyborg: **Yelling from upstairs**

"RaaaVEN!! When are you going to learn to stop leaving this disgusting hair in the shower drain!?"

Raven:

"How about when you learn to flush?"

Cyborg:

"That’s Beast Boy’s mess!"

Raven:

"Don’t lie. His is orange and smells like black walnut."

Beast Boy:

"Now just HOW would you know THAT!?"

Raven:

"I do the laundry here."

Robin:

"Alright, Beast Boy! What’s THIS?"

Beast Boy:

"It’s the receipt for last month’s electric bill."

Robin:

"That’s a rhetorical question! I mean, why is it folded into a paper swan? Don’t you remember what happened the last time we lost a utility receipt?"

Beat Boy:

"Well I…"

Robin:

"Look, use this for your stupid oragami!" **throws book at Beast Boy**

Raven:

"That’s my spell book."

Robin:

"Well, keep it off my desk. The bills don’t get paid by magic."

Starfire: **vomits copiously**

Raven:

"Eww." **floats mop over to Beast Boy**

Beast Boy:

Hey, what the…"

Raven:

You owe me a day of cleaning the kitchen, remember? A bet’s a bet and I’m calling it. Now hurry before it burns through the marble."

Robin:

"That does it! I’m scratching everything citrus off the grocery list."

Cyborg: **steps in**

"That won’t help. She’s got her own lemon tree in her room. Raven, I’m sorry I yelled at you. My back has been killing me all morning and it has me out of sorts."

Raven: "I’ll take you to Jiffy Lube."

**Door bell rings, Robin looks at the monitor**

Robin:

"Oh! Heidi’s here! **sprays in breath deodorizer and combs hair** Now, everybody act cool."

Raven: "News flash, Robin. The mail carrier is not in love with you. She wouldn’t waste ten minutes with you."

Robin: "Put a sock in it." **opens door**

Heidi:

"I’ve got three packages for…"

Star Fire: **blows massive major chunks**

Heidi: **drops packages and runs***

Robin:

"Way to mess up my moves, Star Fire!"

Raven: **sniffs package**

"It’s the wolfsbane I ordered."

Beast Boy:

"Sweet! Can I have some? I might need it. Cyborg’s mom will be visiting next week."

Cyborg:

"You mealy mouthed little punk! I’ll…"

**alarm rings**

Star Fire:

"No, no! Not now!"

Robin:

"Trouble! It’s Cinder Block again. Come on, Star Fire You could finally put that acid of yours to good use. Titans, GO!"

Narrator:

"And so begins another day of heroic adventures for the Dysfunctional Titans."

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Narrator:

Our story begins at Titan Tower. Raven is seated at the dining table reading a newspaper. Beast Boy is seated nearby reading a manga. Robin is a few feet away at his desk poring over the household bills.

Robin:

"What!? $2,780 for a new fridge? That’s the last time I let Cyborg do the shopping. Darn him and his obsession with high tech. What was wrong with the old fridge anyway?"

Raven:

"Silkie ate it"

Robin:

"Why doesn’t anybody take that magot to the dump to eat? It’s a veritible buffet for him and it’s free!"

Beast Boy:

"He doesn’t like junk food."

Starfire: **shuffles in slowly**

"Please as not to converse so loudly. I’m hanging over."

Robin:

"Well, look who finally decided to get out of bed. Good afternoon."

Raven:

"Too much lemonade again? If citric acid is intoxicating to you, why do you keep drinking it?"

Starfire:

"It’s just so delicious. I can’t resist it."

Beast Boy:

"Sign up for Lemons Anonymous."

Cyborg: **Yelling from upstairs**

"RaaaVEN!! When are you going to learn to stop leaving this disgusting hair in the shower drain!?"

Raven:

"How about when you learn to flush?"

Cyborg:

"That’s Beast Boy’s mess!"

Raven:

"Don’t lie. His is orange and smells like black walnut."

Beast Boy:

"Now just HOW would you know THAT!?"

Raven:

"I do the laundry here."

Robin:

"Alright, Beast Boy! What’s THIS?"

Beast Boy:

"It’s the receipt for last month’s electric bill."

Robin:

"That’s a rhetorical question! I mean, why is it folded into a paper swan? Don’t you remember what happened the last time we lost a utility receipt?"

Beat Boy:

"Well I…"

Robin:

"Look, use this for your stupid oragami!" **throws book at Beast Boy**

Raven:

"That’s my spell book."

Robin:

"Well, keep it off my desk. The bills don’t get paid by magic."

Starfire: **vomits copiously**

Raven:

"Eww." **floats mop over to Beast Boy**

Beast Boy:

Hey, what the…"

Raven:

You owe me a day of cleaning the kitchen, remember? A bet’s a bet and I’m calling it. Now hurry before it burns through the marble."

Robin:

"That does it! I’m scratching everything citrus off the grocery list."

Cyborg: **steps in**

"That won’t help. She’s got her own lemon tree in her room. Raven, I’m sorry I yelled at you. My back has been killing me all morning and it has me out of sorts."

Raven: "I’ll take you to Jiffy Lube."

**Door bell rings, Robin looks at the monitor**

Robin:

"Oh! Heidi’s here! **sprays in breath deodorizer and combs hair** Now, everybody act cool."

Raven: "News flash, Robin. The mail carrier is not in love with you. She wouldn’t waste ten minutes with you."

Robin: "Put a sock in it." **opens door**

Heidi:

"I’ve got three packages for…"

Star Fire: **blows massive major chunks**

Heidi: **drops packages and runs***

Robin:

"Way to mess up my moves, Star Fire!"

Raven: **sniffs package**

"It’s the wolfsbane I ordered."

Beast Boy:

"Sweet! Can I have some? I might need it. Cyborg’s mom will be visiting next week."

Cyborg:

"You mealy mouthed little punk! I’ll…"

**alarm rings**

Star Fire:

"No, no! Not now!"

Robin:

"Trouble! It’s Cinder Block again. Come on, Star Fire You could finally put that acid of yours to good use. Titans, GO!"

Narrator:

"And so begins another day of heroic adventures for the Dysfunctional Titans."

 

*origami

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Narrator:

Our story begins at Titan Tower. Raven is seated at the dining table reading a newspaper. Beast Boy is seated nearby reading a manga. Robin is a few feet away at his desk poring over the household bills.

Robin:

"What!? $2,780 for a new fridge? That’s the last time I let Cyborg do the shopping. Darn him and his obsession with high tech. What was wrong with the old fridge anyway?"

Raven:

"Silkie ate it"

Robin:

"Why doesn’t anybody take that magot to the dump to eat? It’s a veritible buffet for him and it’s free!"

Beast Boy:

"He doesn’t like junk food."

Starfire: **shuffles in slowly**

"Please as not to converse so loudly. I’m hanging over."

Robin:

"Well, look who finally decided to get out of bed. Good afternoon."

Raven:

"Too much lemonade again? If citric acid is intoxicating to you, why do you keep drinking it?"

Starfire:

"It’s just so delicious. I can’t resist it."

Beast Boy:

"Sign up for Lemons Anonymous."

Cyborg: **Yelling from upstairs**

"RaaaVEN!! When are you going to learn to stop leaving this disgusting hair in the shower drain!?"

Raven:

"How about when you learn to flush?"

Cyborg:

"That’s Beast Boy’s mess!"

Raven:

"Don’t lie. His is orange and smells like black walnut."

Beast Boy:

"Now just HOW would you know THAT!?"

Raven:

"I do the laundry here."

Robin:

"Alright, Beast Boy! What’s THIS?"

Beast Boy:

"It’s the receipt for last month’s electric bill."

Robin:

"That’s a rhetorical question! I mean, why is it folded into a paper swan? Don’t you remember what happened the last time we lost a utility receipt?"

Beat Boy:

"Well I…"

Robin:

"Look, use this for your stupid oragami!" **throws book at Beast Boy**

Raven:

"That’s my spell book."

Robin:

"Well, keep it off my desk. The bills don’t get paid by magic."

Starfire: **vomits copiously**

Raven:

"Eww." **floats mop over to Beast Boy**

Beast Boy:

Hey, what the…"

Raven:

You owe me a day of cleaning the kitchen, remember? A bet’s a bet and I’m calling it. Now hurry before it burns through the marble."

Robin:

"That does it! I’m scratching everything citrus off the grocery list."

Cyborg: **steps in**

"That won’t help. She’s got her own lemon tree in her room. Raven, I’m sorry I yelled at you. My back has been killing me all morning and it has me out of sorts."

Raven: "I’ll take you to Jiffy Lube."

**Door bell rings, Robin looks at the monitor**

Robin:

"Oh! Heidi’s here! **sprays in breath deodorizer and combs hair** Now, everybody act cool."

Raven: "News flash, Robin. The mail carrier is not in love with you. She wouldn’t waste ten minutes with you."

Robin: "Put a sock in it." **opens door**

Heidi:

"I’ve got three packages for…"

Star Fire: **blows massive major chunks**

Heidi: **drops packages and runs***

Robin:

"Way to mess up my moves, Star Fire!"

Raven: **sniffs package**

"It’s the wolfsbane I ordered."

Beast Boy:

"Sweet! Can I have some? I might need it. Cyborg’s mom will be visiting next week."

Cyborg:

"You mealy mouthed little punk! I’ll…"

**alarm rings**

Star Fire:

"No, no! Not now!"

Robin:

"Trouble! It’s Cinder Block again. Come on, Star Fire You could finally put that acid of yours to good use. Titans, GO!"

Narrator:

"And so begins another day of heroic adventures for the Dysfunctional Titans."

 

*maggot

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