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UnevenEdge

Have you ever had the sensation that you aren't who you are supposed to be?


Sandstone

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I think at some point along the way, I just kind of woke up and I started feeling like this. And I don't mean that in a heartbroken, my mommy told me I'd be a special snowflake sort of way. It's more of a, I'm not really sure who I am, but I feel it's really not supposed to be whatever this is.

 

I'm missing something, I used to think it was an intimate relationship -- and while those do make feel better. After several attempts, I have concluded it must be something else. It is like I am here but also not here, just kind of watching things happen, and having no impact or purpose as to what is happening.

 

It's a strange feeling, not knowing what you are supposed to be, or if you will ever arrive at an answer.

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I'm not taking a jab....Please understand this before you read what I'm about to say.

 

This is loser mentality and we all have it at some point.......It's not strange, it's not uncommon.......We all fall beneath our own expectations because we.....Well most of us......We were told we would be better than what we are.

 

We are all suceptable to failure and moments of sublime weakness.......The key is to realize that you have done more with your life than you expected......This is a bit of a hypocrisy but have you ever been proud of yourself.....Just for a second?  Realize at that moment you were greater than your self defamation and if you did it once, you can do it again......You just have to dig yourself out of that hole

 

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Yeah, I dunno. I had thought about that at one point too. It doesn't really line up with what I am feeling though. I mean it still very well could be that and I just don't understand it.

 

The reason I say it feels like something different, is because I haven't really failed at anything.... on the contrary I have simply not finished anything, one way or another.

 

It's like looking at a painting that just stops in the middle, and you wonder where the artist went? Did he like have to go take a shit or something?

 

I dunno, it just feels really confusing, empty, not really depression but rather I'm just here, and this is the way it's going to be.

 

I seriously need to go see my therapist again.

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Yeah, I'd say that's a bit more accurate. The part that is really bugging me, is there is a feeling of like massive time loss though too. And I am just scratching my head going where did the time go? It's rather terrifying, because if you think about it, this type of predicament could happen to anyone really. If a few circumstances had been just a bit different then one thing might not have led to another and so forth and so on. Then perhaps I would not be here asking this question, and I'd have my answer.

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And I might add, that I definitely have the feeling of "not combating it" anymore. I think my problem is since there was no particular purpose for so long, I just decided the empty spot was supposed to be empty. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

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"Supposed to be" is an awkward phrase. In general we use it to mean "ought to be" or "should be," implying some obligation or judgement. But when one supposes something, it is merely their best guess, given an apparent lack of relevant information, and by no means should that estimate stand in for a metric for which reality is compared to. The only thing such a comparison reveals is how much intuition one has towards the subject. All the error is in either the original supposition, or else the gauging of the outcome, and speaks nothing to the result itself.

 

So when you feel you are not what you are supposed to be, the first question to ask is who is doing the supposing? If you, then what that tells you is that life is very complicated, and it's quite difficult to figure what the future holds. If someone else, who gives a flying fuck. They can worry about their own damn life. Pressing onward, assuming the former, the next area to exam is whether the difference between the actual and the expected is because of some unforeseeable outside factor, or a mischaracterization of one's self. Not an exhaustive list of reasons, clearly, but from there you can determine where your knowledge is lacking. An external cause suggests you may simply need to become more familiar with the way the world works; whereas an internal one says that you'd be better off getting to know yourself.

 

In Our opinion, for what it's worth, this- not knowing one's self- is the fear that causes most people to become discontent with a distinction between the supposed and the actual, whether or not it's truly the root. Why this is the case, We're not sure, but it probably goes back to the notion that who we are supposed to be is who we ought to be, and that a mismatch between the two is some colossal failure, instead of the difference between a coin toss, or using some idealized vision held by society rather than an accurate, personal portrayal, or even something as simple as the person who you were when the supposing was done is no longer the person you are today and no revaluation has been made as of yet.

 

But, to answer your opening question more directly: Constantly. 

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