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DEJA/ERIN UNIVERSE SHORT STORY

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I've been writing about this couple since I have been 11 fucking years old. Well I GIVE UP!! JK Maybe one day I will do something with them but I got exasperated and just wrote another short story with them. THERE IS NO SEX IN THIS STORY... I will add a spoiler with a little sex going on later and update this ... but no sultry sex scenes - sorry. 

The main reason I wanted to write this is to teach couples of this generation (where relationships are sooo very fleeting) some fucking conflict resolution. Maybe people here on this board can learn something,too. No two people are alike and the breeds CONFLICT all the time in our lives. ALL THE TIME. People need to understand that to love is to understand people and meet in the middle blah blah .. enough preaching. 

Please read this. Feedback is welcome but i will say i do not seeking any grammar, syntax or punctuation lessons.. .I want content driven feedback... how did it make you FEEL?? Also, I know this is more suited for kids but ah well... here it goes. thanks in advance.

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 The Academic Ball

          

 The Academic Ball

                It was the final battle of the Academic Triathlon. The competition was intense. They were tied in five sudden deaths. The judges had given up and had taken a recess to decide on another method of determining the winning team.

                Deja had not expected things to come to this. She figured her participation in the tournament would be barely noticeable; no big deal at all.

                She had wanted to say no when her best friend, Sheryl, had desperately pleaded for her to come in as a last minute stand-in for another competitor who had become victim to a brutal case of salmonella poisoning from tuna dip that had been left out too long during the late hours of an all-night study session in preparation for this very battle. It could have wiped out the entire team, but Thelma’s bottomless pit of hunger had been her sole undoing.

                “Please please please, Deja,” Sheryl had pleaded. “You are the smartest kid in school next to you know who.” She avoided saying his name but that hadn’t stopped a nonsensical pang of guilt in Deja’s stomach.

                Sheryl had been talking about her ex Jeremiah. After learning what went down in his huge empty mansion after he’d had way too much to drink, her current boyfriend, Erin, had single handedly caused his ostracization from every social group that existed in school. He still played football but none of the guys talked to him off the field. Deja could only imagine the locker room scenes and endless hateful glares Jeremiah had to endure from Erin who played alongside him.

                “I mean, I would ask him,” Sheryl explained, “but he’s so weird these days. Who knows how he’d react if I of all people…” She didn’t need to say anymore. Even her boundless compassion had its limits and Deja knew no one else would dare. So, she had joined the team hating the reason was only to take the pressure off Jeremiah. Erin would never let her hear the end of it if he ever caught wind of her true motives.

                Instead, he saw it as one of many things ultra-smart kids did that he had no interest in. He’d shrugged it off carelessly when she’d told him about it.

“Kick butt,” he’d said half-heartedly as he crammed in the last minutes before an upcoming History exam. He did zero homework refusing to even consider it and had made it known to all teachers at the start of every school year. The arrangement being he would only do homework, or as he referred to it, “busy work”, for them if he couldn’t pass their tests. So far, he’d miraculously passed every one in all subjects by doing what Deja coined as an “X-Games Extreme Learning” method. The method comprised of barely staying awake during long lectures but somehow absorbing every word and then this last-minute cramming of his.

                It worked for him and she gave up trying to enthuse the merits of actually remembering the subject matter past aceing the tests.

                While the judges deliberated the grueling Saturday afternoon away, she entertained herself by watching the goofy looks Sheryl shared with one half of a set of male twins that were members of the opposing team. Well maybe not so much “goofy” as unadulterated lustful looks of desire. Sheryl was no slut, but she definitely wasn’t shy and didn’t care one bit about how many people noticed her behavior as she batted her eyelashes at the two competetors who flushed red but still ate it up.

                “Sheryl, stop it,” Deja instructed and giggled as she pinched her.

                “Ow! No!” She answered, “And look, the other one likes you!”

                “I am not looking at that boy,” she replied incredulously. “I’m spoken for.”

                “Oh, come off it. You can still look.”

                Deja didn’t dare and started to feel incredibly uncomfortable under the heat of the other twin’s unwavering study of her.

                Finally, the judges had come up with a solution. They were to select one representative from each team and that person would each be given an essay question regarding a major world issue. They were to write up to 5 sentences or more on their position on said issue. The judges would decide the winner based on how well the selected teammate supported their position and backed it up with facts that could be verified.

                She knew she would be picked. It was her insight and prowess that had gotten them so far in the first place. She could hear Sheryl’s squeal as Deja got matched up with Sheryl’s new love interest or whatever she wanted to call him.

                Deja was a little perturbed that she, a stand-in, was expected to win the entire competition. She inwardly decided she had shined enough for one afternoon and “mistakenly” smudged a number on one of her supporting stats a good 100,000 giving the win to the other team. She thought she put on a good performance feigning disappointment. Sheryl seemed to buy it at least. Still, she had helped make history at the tournament that day and both teams cheered; mostly because it was finally over.

                They all shook hands, but instead of separating back to their side of the stage, they congregated for several minutes congratulating each other and giving each other kudos.

                The other team’s captain, his status indicative by a picture of a crown sewn on his school sweater above an emblem that none of his other teammates had, approached Sheryl and immediately suggested a meet up because, according to him, “your team could teach us a thing or two it seems”. He was an arrogant egghead and Deja could swear she could see the circumference of his head increase two full inches because of his win.

                Sheryl of course immediately agreed even though the proposition had zero benefit for her. Well, except one and that one thing would end up bringing Deja’s relationship with Erin to its very brink. 

◊◊◊ Part 2 ◊◊◊

                Deja mused that she must really love Sheryl. Otherwise, why else would she continuously let her get her in these pesky little predicaments?

                Her current situation had her standing in the doorway before the crest of her circular driveway flanked by her parents and Erin. They all had their eyes on Sheryl who stood in front of a luxurious white stretched limo much similar to the one they’d ridden to prom a few weeks ago.

                Sheryl’s usually curly red hair was extra silky, straight, sleek and cascading down her back. On either side of her each half of the twins from the triathlon stood posing with her as a photographer she hired for the evening took photos of them all together. The twins were decked out in their JROTC uniforms and looked spectacular with fresh haircuts and a flower pinned to their chests. One flower matched Sheryl’s brilliant emerald dress and the other Deja’s bright yellow gown.

                Deja had a large bun on the top of her head with tendrils of her natural curls adorning it and the back of her hair elegantly falling down her back with small pearls pinned throughout giving her a regal look. She didn’t realize how much she looked like a Disney princess until Erin snidely called her “Belle of the Ball” right after Sheryl called to say she was on her way giving Deja no time to make herself look less like an idiot.

                No one expected all the fuss Sheryl was making over a simple scholastic ball that was being held tonight in the honor of the school’s high achievers. She was truly showing out not caring that she’d basically strong-armed Deja into letting the other twin escort her in spite of any feelings her boyfriend might have about it.

                Deja had tried to stop this fiasco. “No way he’d let me go off with some guy to a ball. A guy he doesn’t –“

                “Oh,” Sheryl had interrupted her, “he will. Let me talk to him. If he’s confident in your relationship, he won’t give a damn. Besides, some nerdy scholastic ball would bore him to tears. I’m asking, no, begging you to do me this solid. I really like Dillon and it would be perfect if you were there with Darryl, too. The four of us brainiacs going as friends. Imagine the discussions! Besides, you and Erin are way too caught up into each other lately. It’s unhealthy.”

                It’s like Sheryl knew the one thing she had to say to get her way because she knew how much Deja dreaded having another relationship go overboard like the last one. Whatever Sheryl must have said to Erin somehow worked and he agreed.

                She glanced over at him now and wondered if he was still as much onboard as he’d been after his “talk” with Sheryl. He sure didn’t look like it as he stared at the thrupple masquerading in front of their cameraman.

                Erin himself was dressed all in black in a black hoodie halfway covering his gleaming black hair and eyebrows still shaped to perfection in a style Deja had chosen for him for prom. She had liked it just fine for prom night but him rocking the pretty boy model look everyday was becoming a bit overbearing lately. It made him appear as an imposing intimidating figure instead of the normal laid-back teenage boy she was used to.

                He stood with his arms crossed, muscular and bulging – his fierce green eyes a deeper shade than usual as they reflected the dark clouds overhead and were just as stormy; they danced with emotions Deja knew by now he was fighting to suppress even though she didn’t know exactly what those emotions were or the reasoning behind them. He looked as if he were a ferocious tiger in the wild and the twins were two innocent unsuspecting bunnies soon to be his dinner.

                It suddenly hit Deja that she was in big trouble.

~●~

                It was an hour into the Academic Ball and Deja found herself an empty balcony to get a brief respite from the hustle and bustle of the party that was still going on inside. She took a deep breath and tried to tell herself there was nothing to worry about but she couldn’t relax. She couldn’t stop thinking about Erin and wondering if not bringing him along was a mistake.

                She heard a shuffling sound behind her and turned around to see her date for the night, Darryl, walking towards her.

                “Found you, beautiful! Taking a break, huh?” he said with a smile that showcased brilliant white perfect teeth.

                “I guess,” she replied with a noncommitted shrug of her shoulders as she gave a weak smile back.

                “You hate being here with me, don’t you?”

                “No. No,” she said trying to sound convincing, “I’m having a great time. I’m sorry. I’m just all in my head tonight, that’s all. It’s not you!”

                He nodded, “It’s ok. If I had some hunk waiting for me back home, I’d hate being here, too,” he replied, totally not buying her story.

                She realized something about him suddenly. “Wait, are you…?”

                “I like to think of myself as pansexual, if you really want to know,” he smirked, completely comfortable with revealing such an intimate detail about himself.

                “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

                “It’s completely fine. Don’t fret, gorgeous,” he said still smiling brightly, “and you don’t have to keep apologizing,” he said chuckling, “so that incredibly beautiful guy back at your place was your boyfriend?”

                “Yeah,” she said sheepishly. Something about Darryl’s level of familiarity was off-putting but she ignored it.

                He blew air out forcibly and grinned, “Oh boy! He did NOT look too happy when he saw us step out of the limo.”

                “Well, he knew what was up before everything was setup. I don’t know what his deal was.”

                “Hmm,” Darryl hummed, “so is he also the reason you threw the competition?”

                She was taken aback. Did he really say what she thought he said?” What?” she sputtered in shock.

                Smiling with a weird, all-knowing smile, he said “Don’t worry. You fooled almost everybody but definitely not me. You carried your team throughout the competition recalling incredibly obscure facts from years ago but befuddled statistics from a journal posted just last month? Yeah, right, hot stuff!”

                “You’re not going to tell anybody, are you?”

                “Nah. Secrets safe with me,” he winked, “I’m curious. Why?”

                “I dunno,” she replied searching within herself for the motivation behind her actions, “I guess the whole thing ended up being such a big deal – you know- so important and stuff. And I already have this reputation at school.  I didn’t need the extra attention.”

                Darryl raised his eyebrows at her confession and then said, “Or prestige?” He thought for a bit and continued, “I think I get it but why would your boyfriend care? I mean, he has to already know you’re smart, right?”

                To that Deja had no answer.

                “Yeah,” he continued; giving her a break from having to answer. “It’s not always easy. People always expecting you to know every little thing. My thing is, from the way I see it, your big guy doesn’t care whether or not you know a bunch of useless facts and winning the triathlon wouldn’t change anything about how he feels about you.”

◊◊◊ Part 3 ◊◊◊

                Deja came home and walked to the TV room in the back where her parents usually stayed up waiting for her on nights she went out. She was a little taken aback to see a third person with them, Erin, passed out under a blanket on their long overstuff couch. She snickered to herself. She never imagined she’d ever see the robust party-hard football player snuggled under her mother’s afghan so comfortably.

                “I’m home, everyone,” she announced, rousing them all from their individual reveries.

                “How’d everything go,” her mother questioned as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

                “Fabulous,” Deja replied while eyeing Erin as he removed his blanket and stood up and stretched. Deja tried not to roll her eyes as she turned and began making her way upstairs to her room purposely not giving him an invite knowing he’d follow her up anyway.

                She was exhausted but she gathered her strength to prepare herself for whatever Erin had to say to her that he couldn’t wait until morning to say it.

                She grabbed a long t-shirt and pajama bottoms from her dresser and went into the bathroom that was attached to her large bedroom. She pulled the canary dress over her head and put it back on the fancy frilled hanger that came with it and hung it from the notch on the door before putting on her bed clothes. The material was thick and comfortable against her skin and she enjoyed the sleeves that warmed her up; in contrast to the dress that had her walking around with bare arms all night.

                She opened her bathroom door and peaked out to see Erin perched on the edge of her bed, his leg bouncing absentmindedly as he waited for her. She rolled her eyes again and proceeded to brush her teeth and wash all the makeup from her face. She took out all the adornments from her hair and quickly brushed out her thick hair. She grabbed a ponytail holder and jaunted over to Erin.

                “Well?” she said putting her hair band between her teeth and reaching behind her head to gather up her long tresses, “what’s on your mind, mon cher?”

                There was a moment of silence before he responded, “Let me.” He rose quickly and stepped behind her and wrapped his large hands around the hair she had gathered up. He held up his hand next to her and it took her a moment to realize he wanted the band. She obliged by placing it in the palm of his hand. In a manner of seconds, he had her abundant layers all put away much neater and tighter than she’d ever managed on her own.

                She turned to face him. Searching his eyes for a measure of his current mood. His eyes narrowed as he looked back into her own. He moved closer before reaching up and gripping her chin and tilting her head up and into a soft sultry kiss that seemed to last forever leaving her breathless.

                He pulled away and looked her up and down and said huskily, “You look so beautiful like this.” She smiled almost forgetting the circumstances that bought them before each other tonight.

                He stepped back and away from her and sat back down on her bed leaning back on his elbows. She sat down next to him and once again studied him trying to get a finger on what was going on between them.

                “So, you stayed here all night only to say that?” she quipped.

                “What do you want me to say. Deja?” She hated this. The games. Answering questions with a question and it usually meant bad news. She stopped smiling.

                “I want you to say whatever is on your mind.” She stated.

                He scoffed, “Maybe you want me to say that I’ve been going through hell these past 6 hours?”

                She gasped, “What? Really? Why? Tonight was no big deal.”

                “The whole ordeal was a lot for me if you want me to be honest,” he said with a strange calm that made her realize a lot of anger was boiling just beneath the surface.

                Panic begin to set in. She felt trapped, “But you agreed to it. All of it. You said I could go =”

                “That was before I knew...”        

                “Knew what?” she replied; her brow furrowed in confusion.

                “Knew two twin ken dolls were going to be all over you all night!” he responded, looking at her intensely.

                “Oh!” she said as it dawned on her, “you heard ‘Triathlon winners’ and ‘academic ball’ and you assumed they were unattractive!”

                Erin shrugged and closed his eyes as he laid back on her bed and sighed deeply.

                “Erin, they’re kind of cute, yes but,” she said in a low, soothing voice, “but they aren’t anywhere near your level when it comes to looks.” She stated as if it was a matter of fact and not mere opinion.

                Her words had no affect and he was still upset to her distress. Then she realized what was really getting to him so much.

                “I – I get it,” she said gently touching his shoulder and coming closer to him as he laid on the bed, “it’s because they’re gifted kids like me, isn’t it?”

                He looked up at her with indignation written across his face, “they aren’t only ‘kinda cute’, either, Deja. They’re dorky super smart stud muffins”

                “Well, they aren’t ‘stud muffins’ to me.” She explained, “Sheryl maybe. Look, I had a guy that was super smart and hot. Remember what happened?”

                “Oh, so you downgraded?”

                “No, I didn’t mean it like that,” she sat down on her bed next to him, “You’re smart, too, you just don’t apply yourself.”

                “You think I don’t apply myself? So, I’m an underachiever to you?”

                She looked heavenward in defeat.

                “You’re getting that way again,” she said exasperated, “where everything I say is wrong and we are getting nowhere.”

                “Ok,” he said, “let’s play ‘Heart of the Matter’.”

                “Fine, “she agreed,” You go first.” Heart of the Matter was a game they played when they gave up pointless back and forth and tried to express the true meaning of whatever was really causing them to argue.

                He thought for a moment.

                “I guess… the heart of the matter is…. I guess it is bothering me that I wasn’t invited. Not even really considered an option… because I’m not like you.”

                This made her frown a bit as she responded, “Erin, the heart of the matter all comes back to your unjustified feelings of inadequacy when it comes to me. I’ve told you time and time again that none of that means anything to me. At all.”

                He narrowed his eyes incredulously, “So what did you two talk about then? You know, when you were alone together? Probably a bunch of genius level stuff I’d never understand in my lifetime.”

                “No,” she smiled, “We actually spent most of the night talking about you.”

                He didn’t return her smile but merely looked at her, “What were you saying about me?”

                “Only how I was worrying over the silliest things when it came to you.”

                He raised a perfectly shaped brow and said, “Heart of the matter?”

                She sighed and figured she would just tell him, “I guess I was feeling insecure myself and because of that I threw that dumb triathlon competition the other week.”

“You threw the competition?” he repeated confused, “How? Why?”

She then explained how the game had grown into some unseen before historic battle. How it had all come down to her and how she had purposely submitted a wrong answer to give the other team the win.

He sat up straight then slowly scooted a few inches away from her, his brow furrowed as her words sunk in.

“Deja,” he said slowly, “How smart are you really?”

“Why does it matter?” she said exasperated, “Really?”

“It matters because we fucking agreed not to keep things from each other,” he snarled.

“Erin, please…”

“Don’t ‘Erin’ me, Deja. Dear, God.”

She panicked, “Why does this upset you so much?”

                He moved further away and stood up and begin to pace the room, shaking his head.

                “You must think I’m the biggest idiot.”

                “No.. no.. no.” she got up and tried to close the distance that seemed like a wide schism between them, “Don’t say that. I don’t think that at all!”

                “You think I don’t know anything about those competitions? Those questions get insane. You got through five sudden deaths!”

                “It wasn’t only me! I had the other teammates.” She fought to explain, “and the other team was getting those questions right, too!”

                “Yeah, but they wouldn’t have even won if you didn’t do what you did.”

                Deja had no response. She watched in helplessly as her heart sunk further and further in her chest.

                Erin continued, “I’m thinking back to all the stupid things I’ve said. Things my friends have said. And you sat there not correcting any of it and pretending not to know any better.”

                “No one likes a know-it-all, Erin,” Deja responded.

                “You think we wouldn’t like you?” he asked throwing up his hands and then placing them on his hips in consternation. “Wow, Deja, you have no idea how much that hurts me!”

                “It’s not like that! I swear!”

                “Oh my god,” he groaned, “You’re still doing it. Being fake as shit!”

                “I’m not! I’m not!” is all she could respond as she lost her composure. She sank onto her knees. She reached up and cradled her head grabbing handfuls of her own hair as she begin to both sob and hyperventilate. Erin rushed to her side, pulling her hands away and down, wrapping himself around her and holding her close and still as he tried to sooth her.

                “Shh. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he said in a much calmer tone, “I didn’t mean to yell at you. Calm down, baby. I got you.” He held her until her sobs subsided and she stopped shaking.

                With her face hidden in his chest, she said in a low weak murmur, “I can’t, Erin.” He pulled away from her and held her face as he wiped her tears.

                “What did you say, sweetie?”

                “I can’t. I can’t lose you, too.”

                He pulled her back in and held her tight as he said, “I’m so sorry I scared you, sweetie. I’m not going anywhere. I love you. I love you so much. Never hide things from me.” He pulled away again so he can look deeply in her eyes as he said, “Correct us. Be brilliant. Win competitions. When all the competitions. I won’t like you any less. I won’t love you any less, okay?”

                She sniffed and nodded as a smile crept slowly onto her face.

                He smiled back and said, “Heart of the matter? It all blindsided me that after everything, you still didn’t trust me. How much do I have to say it? I love you and everything that you are.”

 

◊◊◊ Part 3 ◊◊◊

                On a beautiful clear Saturday morning, Deja woke up to a text on her phone from Erin.

                                I have a surprise for you. Meet me at Sheryl’s at Noon.

                Noon was an hour away and she was no where near prepared to leave the house. Her hair was messy and she still had bags under her eyes from staying up as late as possible and then passing out during a binge fest of the latest teen drama on TV. She decided to stay in and have a night to herself because she was sick of Sheryl and everyone saying she was getting too involved with her boyfriend. Plus, she needed a break from all the constant heart to heart talks they always had to have when they had a disagreement. Despite all that, she was ecstatic to get the text from him and couldn’t wait to see what he had in store for her.

                She didn’t have time to tame her long messy tendrils and instead settled for a wild long braid that she threw over her shoulder. She arrived at Sheryl’s about 20 minutes late. Erin came out as soon as her mother dropped her off and the way Sheryl’s house was built, it meant he had to have been standing at her window looking out awaiting her.

                “There you are,” he said welcoming her, his beautiful eyes practically glowing in the bright sunshine, “I was about to text you!”
                “Sorry, but I’m here now!”

                “Great, follow me.”

                Sheryl’s house was a spectacle of grandeur. Deja didn’t know how many rooms it had but it was many and sprawling. Erin lead her to what she could guess was a large study because even though the lights were off and she couldn’t see into the room, she could tell the walls were covered in books.

                “Let me turn on the light,” Erin said as he rubbed his hand on the wall beside him. Suddenly brilliant light spread throughout reveling a room full of people with Sheryl at the center holding the large trophy from the Triathlon last month next to the other team’s Captain.

                They all smiled brightly at her and she had no clue what was going on.

                “What’s all this?” she asked cautiously. She felt very self-conscious and nervous all of a sudden.

                “Well, Deja,” Sheryl answered, “We all, including Tim (she motioned to the team Captain who Deja assumed was Tim), decided that you are the true owner of this trophy.”

                Deja eyes flew wide open and she immediately sought out Erin, “You told them!?” She said angrily. She felt betrayed.

                “Girl, chill,” Sheryl interjected, “Everyone knew. Don’t bite his head off.”

                Tim took the trophy from Sheryl and handed it Deja trying to hide his sullen emotions with a half hearted smile, “Congrats. Maybe come back next year and play for realsies?” He grinned.

                Deja shook her head, “No way. I’m done competing, but I will take this trophy!” She beamed as she held it with both hands.

                The small gathering commenced to have a lovely afternoon as both teams from the competition hung out together eating pizza, playing board games and having other refreshments.

                During the festivities Deja tried to quell her curiosity but couldn’t and pulled Sheryl to the side to ask her how this all came about.

                Sheryl had the cheesiest self-congratulatory grin as she explained, “Well, eventually everyone pretty much suspected what you did. You’re not that good at hiding guilt you know,” She laughed, “but Erin came to me kind of hinting about it. He then concluded that we should try to organize a rematch of some sort. We went to the game officials and they said it couldn’t be done since the competition had now moved up to the collegiate level, “she explained.

                Deja wasn’t satisfied,” so how did all this come about? How did you get Westminster High to agree to give up their trophy?”

                Sheryl shrugged,” That was mostly Erin. He added himself to their page online and then messaged hints to Tim that their win wasn’t completely legit. Tim kind of suspected it as well. The rest was pretty easy to set up after that. Happy?”

                “It’s all really embarrassing, “Deja blushed, “but I guess it’s cool.”

                “Yes, “said Sheryl, “and Tim even had some trophy place put your name on it and everything. SO congrats, girlie.” She lightly punched Deja on the arm, “Let’s get back to the party.”

                When they got back, it looked like everyone was having a good time except Erin. Darryl had managed to trap him in a corner and from the looks of it, whatever he was saying was making Erin uncomfortable.

                Deja rushed to saved him. He was relieved when she pulled him away using the old “Excuse me, I have to borrow him,” line she plucked from her extensive memory of watching American movies.

                “Where were you?” Erin asked in a hushed tone, “dude was asking me all these personal questions.”

                “Yeah, he does that, “Deja tried to laugh it off.

                She took the drink he was holding out of his hands and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him close as she smiled up at him.

                “I heard what you did for me, “she said evenly, hoping not to alarm him. He responded by wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her even closer.

                “You deserved something, some … notoriety … for your accomplishment,” he said humbly. “And everyone sort of knew you were the winner so it was only fair,” he added.

                Her smile grew, “you’re something else, Iswazy!”

                “Ha!” he scoffed, “says the smartest highschooler nationwide.”

                She winced.

                “Sorry,” he said sheepishly.

                She recovered with a shrug,

“It’s ok. I’ll survive,” she said breathlessly before pulling him in for a kiss that melted into a hug in the middle of the study. They swayed in other others arms temporarily forgetting their company until Sheryl cleared her throat and tapped them on the shoulder bringing them to the present. They hadn’t noticed the whole room had grown quiet as everyone was watching them all with lovey-dovey looks.

“Game of charades,” Sheryl chided attempting to clear the mushiness out of the air.”

As the evening winded down, Deja felt a little less alone – a little less like an outsider – for the first time in a very long time.

               

~The End~

 

 

Edited by fuggstop

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Is this a stand-alone story, or is one supposed to have prior knowledge of the characters? I felt kind of like I'd arrived at a party five minutes after the only person I knew had left; there were hints of motivation that dangled just out of reach that would have made both the conflict more palpable and the resolution more satisfying. It actually was more like reading a teaser than an actual story; it's not bad, I just wish that, if it's stand-alone, there was a bit more of the background, like why Deja is so touchy about being smart. I guess to a reader familiar with the universe, it would be a far more satisfying read.

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12 hours ago, mthor said:

Is this a stand-alone story, or is one supposed to have prior knowledge of the characters? I felt kind of like I'd arrived at a party five minutes after the only person I knew had left; there were hints of motivation that dangled just out of reach that would have made both the conflict more palpable and the resolution more satisfying. It actually was more like reading a teaser than an actual story; it's not bad, I just wish that, if it's stand-alone, there was a bit more of the background, like why Deja is so touchy about being smart. I guess to a reader familiar with the universe, it would be a far more satisfying read.

girl its a long ass trilogy my 21 year old manic self thought it would be a great idea to write. the project became so massive and is spread among like 10 different notebooks and i just dotn have the time or patience to compile it, write it, and then edit it.. so i did a short story based off it. i am thinking of just writing a bunch of short stories and reveling things through out instead of straight forward novels..

Deja just wants to be seen as normal and like everyone else

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Posted (edited)

What's an Academic Triathlon?

Edited by scoobdog

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On 8/25/2019 at 8:15 AM, Sho Minamimoto said:

This story is definitely finished

But we never found out what the Academic Triathlon was.....

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