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Cw's Riverdale, aka Twin Peaks but with the Archies


mochi

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I'm hearing a lot of negative stuff about this show from both sides of the political equasion

 

on one hand it's apparently extremely sexualized which weirds out puritanical conservaitives, and it's apparently also....arguably slightly homophobic

 

apperently some webloids did a report about having read the Pilot script, long story short kevin is a complete bitchy Slut with Homophobic parents(which is the opposite of how he is in the comics, in the comics he's quite collected and has a normal sex drive and his parents are totally okay with him being gay)

 

occording to the article he "loves Drama" is "sarcastic and bored" (aka bitchy) and his establishing scene is him surfing grindr for anonymous sex then deciding to watch Gay porn with Betty, who is his straight girl BFF when he decides none of the guys are fuckable....also apperently he reads Veronica the riot act on her trying to make him her "pet homosexual" which is rather hypocritical considering that's what he is to Betty from the sound of it

 

(in the comics his 3 part introduction is Veronica first thinking he's gorgeous and trying to date him, then him politely telling her he's gay, then she sees him hanging out with Jughead and IMMEDIATELY assumes Jughead is gay, so kevin tells her Jughead isn't gay and that he and Jughead are just friends, then the third part is her trying to make him her Gay bff pet homosexual, to which he replies (politely) that she's being a jerk and should stop, so she does)

 

 

also Jughead is apparently straight (he's been confirmed as asexual in the comics) but in their defense riverdale's writers said that him being straight was an oversight because Archies had not given them the information that jughead was ace when they wrote season 1, and that he will probably be asexual in season 2

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This was the perfect amount of awful.

 

I'm not sure I can handle continuing with HTGAWM given the episodes I've seen of season 3 weren't just bad nonsense, but kinda boring at the same time. This might be the perfect replacement.

 

Specifically, this was kind of a trainwreck of an episode. Conflicts seemed to hit their peaks within the season premiere of all things and that's without mentioning how melodramatic or silly the bulk of them were, virtually every interaction was either hammy or forced, the dialogue was largely cringe-inducing, and entire scenes would amount to being laughably stupid (especially the ones involving the teacher or the ones with Betsy's mom).

 

It did have some nice cinematography, though. Nothing incredible, but it was generally nice to look at. That's about the best I've got for a compliment without backhandedness is concerned.

 

Overall, I did enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed the first couple seasons of HTGAWM, being the awful yet fun to watch variety.

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This was the perfect amount of awful.

 

I'm not sure I can handle continuing with HTGAWM given the episodes I've seen of season 3 weren't just bad nonsense, but kinda boring at the same time. This might be the perfect replacement.

 

Specifically, this was kind of a trainwreck of an episode. Conflicts seemed to hit their peaks within the season premiere of all things and that's without mentioning how melodramatic or silly the bulk of them were, virtually every interaction was either hammy or forced, the dialogue was largely cringe-inducing, and entire scenes would amount to being laughably stupid (especially the ones involving the teacher or the ones with Betsy's mom).

 

It did have some nice cinematography, though. Nothing incredible, but it was generally nice to look at. That's about the best I've got for a compliment without backhandedness is concerned.

 

Overall, I did enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed the first couple seasons of HTGAWM, being the awful yet fun to watch variety.

I watched half the ep then learned of the events of the remainder via spoilers

 

what I know, is that,

concerning Kevin Keller,  the Stereotypical aspects of Kevin's character were massively toned down from the Pilot script....and he STILL manages to be stereotypical despite that fact, he was apperently loud, bitchy, had homophobic parents, was a complete slut who let older men he met on Grindr fuck him, and watched Gay porn with his straight girl BFF Betty in the pilot script, all of that was removed in favor of making him SLIGHTLY more like his comic counterpart....his entire character however seems to be based around him lusting after Archie while pretending to be rooting for him and Betty to get together in the final though

also supposedly Moose fucked him (moose is straight in the Comics and has a girlfriend)

 

and they made Ms. Grundy young, and made Archie fuck her.....which considering what she looks like in the comics Miss_Grundy.png is DISGUSTING!

 

 

also my judgement of thinking it was HTGAWM were dead wrong

 

it's Twin Peaks, the writers even flat out admitted that the story was a rip-off of Twin Peaks

 

 

 

some other interesting factoids

 

the writers have Stated that Kevin is not an important character in season 1, but due to his popularity in the comic fanbase, will make him an extremely important character in season 2, they have also stated that they will not kill him off(the cw keeps getting in trouble for randomly killing all the gay characters in their shows so everyone was expecting them to kill Kevin)

additionally they will be making it clear that Jughead is asexual (like he is in the comics) in season 2 (that said since the announcement that he is ace he has begun jokingly flirting with Kevin (who is now his absolute best friend) in the comics)

also Sabrina the Teenage witch is joining the cast in season 2

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Oh certainly.

 

It's Twin Peaks with HTGAWM writing, but the HTGAWM comparison was completely valid. The shows are both equally tacky and poorly handled. Twin Peaks was an intuitive inspiration in nearly every respect, they even copied the road sign down to the design.

 

I absolutely didn't think the episode was 'good', it was an entertaining bad at best. Any time it crossed my mind that it might be better than HTGAWM from a quality standpoint, it would immediately do something amazingly stupid that I'm sure was intended to be serious.

 

The plot twists weren't as fun as HTGAWM, but it made up for it with unintentionally funny drama.

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Oh certainly.

 

It's Twin Peaks with HTGAWM writing, but the HTGAWM comparison was completely valid. The shows are both equally tacky and poorly handled. Twin Peaks was an intuitive inspiration in nearly every respect, they even copied the road sign down to the design.

 

I absolutely didn't think the episode was 'good', it was an entertaining bad at best. Any time it crossed my mind that it might be better than HTGAWM from a quality standpoint, it would immediately do something amazingly stupid that I'm sure was intended to be serious.

 

The plot twists weren't as fun as HTGAWM, but it made up for it with unintentionally funny drama.

ironically the show was originally pitched as a sitcom back in the 90's and was meant to be a spin-off of the Melissa Joan Hart Sabrina the teenage witch show

 

a network finally picked it up in 2015, but with Archies trying to be edgy it got retooled as a "Drama" and became a tacky HTGAWMish twin peaks plagiarism

 

 

 

also having watched the remainder it sucks that the closest Kevin has gotten to getting laid is a closeted jock who won't kiss him(and it got interrupted by them finding a dead body anyway)

 

but yeah it wasn't as awful as I assumed it'd be....I mean it was but it was actually watchable

 

 

if the cw and Archies lied and they really do Kill Kevin I'll be livid with rage though.....Cw's gotta stop writing Gay characters as expendable red-shirts

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I haven't decided if I'll give it a shot yet. Adding in Sabrina during the first season would have definitely pulled me in though.

part of me wants to keep watching it just to see how awful Kevin ends up being and if they kill off him or his boyfriend (as is the norm in CW series)
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Not sure about special, as it isn't as bad as your Manos: The Hands of Fates or The Rooms,  but the dialogue and delivery are impressively bad.

basically it's like if a teenager watched Will & Grace, Twin peaks, and Glee, and did a 3 way crossover between those things using the characters from Archie comics
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To be fair, all the characters are literally awful.

true

 

it just enrages me that they made him literally too awful to be likable

 

his Comic self was completely likeable, he was a happy well adjusted Gay boy who loved himself and had confidence (despite seeming to be the only openly Gay student in his school), and he later found a boyfriend

 

CW Kevin Hates himself has homophobic parents hates on other students for not being openly Gay or Bi, and thinks he's literally the center of the universe

 

 

I also have developed a theory that CW Kevin isn't actually gay but pretending to be and might be the actual murderer.....I have a reason for this theory which I will put under a spoiler

 

this show is largely trying to compete with slasher dramas on other networks.....and Scream Queens actually did this, Nick Jonas's character is introduced as Gay in almost the exact same manner as CW Kevin....then he fakes his own death, later he is revealed to be one of the killers....and it is also revealed that he is not really Gay

, so it's possible CW Kevin is not gay, but pretending to be for some nefarious purpose

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true

 

it just enrages me that they made him literally too awful to be likable

 

his Comic self was completely likeable, he was a happy well adjusted Gay boy who loved himself and had confidence (despite seeming to be the only openly Gay student in his school), and he later found a boyfriend

 

CW Kevin Hates himself has homophobic parents hates on other students for not being openly Gay or Bi, and thinks he's literally the center of the universe

 

 

I also have developed a theory that CW Kevin isn't actually gay but pretending to be and might be the actual murderer.....I have a reason for this theory which I will put under a spoiler

 

this show is largely trying to compete with slasher dramas on other networks.....and Scream Queens actually did this, Nick Jonas's character is introduced as Gay in almost the exact same manner as CW Kevin....then he fakes his own death, later he is revealed to be one of the killers....and it is also revealed that he is not really Gay

, so it's possible CW Kevin is not gay, but pretending to be for some nefarious purpose

 

I am so glad that I dropped Scream Queens early.

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Do I need to watch the Archie version of Twin Peaks when Showtime has the actual Twin Peaks?

 

Just saying.

I actually intend to watch them side by side at some point and start comparing scenes to see how much of Twin Peaks riverdale blatantly copies
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I am so glad that I dropped Scream Queens early.

in the show's defense it was supposed to be a mean Spirited/semi-affectionate Parody of homophobic 1980's horror movies,

 

but yeah it was Trash, and the Nick Jonas thing wasn't the only homophobic thing in the show, there was also a character literally named "Predatory Lesbian" and she's among one of the characters who gets killed early in the story

 

 

 

Frankly though Scream Queen's creator (the same guy who did Glee and American horror Story) seems incapable of making a show without making it as Homophobic and steteotypical as possible, which considering he IS gay is weird, either he's extremely self depricating or he's like Milo Yappypoodle and hates his own kind

 

 

to be fair he did make ONE show that was not deliberately Homophobic or Stereotypical(it still did have a vague air of stereotyping though), a shortlived show called "the New normal" which got cancelled after one season

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Man, what a terrible second episode.

 

Like, that was worse than the first, but somehow I think I liked it more for really pushing the boundaries on how bad it can get and how quickly it could do so.

 

My favorite part was toward the end with the football game where you find out halfway through the scene that it's supposed to be raining because someone with an umbrella says it's raining even though it isn't.

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Man, what a terrible second episode.

 

Like, that was worse than the first, but somehow I think I liked it more for really pushing the boundaries on how bad it can get and how quickly it could do so.

 

My favorite part was toward the end with the football game where you find out halfway through the scene that it's supposed to be raining because someone with an umbrella says it's raining even though it isn't.

agree'd

 

Veronica Buys Betty a lesbian Bouquet and says it's a symbol of "friendship"

Kevin whines because he finds out Moose (a homophobic jock who propsitioned him then lured him out into a dark lake) has a girlfriend, and denies Bisexuality is a thing( he's a Biphobe, something Comic Kevin is not) and tells Veronica she has no idea what it's like to be opressed (even though she's Latina for the purposes of the show) and pisses her off(there's bonus reasons this scene is terrible, I'll explain why in a spoiler)

 

in kevin's intro in the comics is similar....except he's in the right and doesn't say anything Biphobic, long story short, after finding out he's gay Veronica does a WHOOOLE bunch of mean stereotypical things to him (because Comic Veronica is actually a bitch), Kevin is VERY patient with her, up to a point, he eventually finally gets really mad at her and tells her she's being a jerk, she apologises and tries not to stereotype him from that moment onwards, she still does though, just less so (Kevin's boyfriend Devon (who does not exist in riverdale) appears to still hate her KK9_14+001.jpg, case in point

 

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I want to say I took his pissiness at the jock having a girlfriend being that the jock is taken, but then again he was pretty shitty to him, plus my friend and ai were busy laughing at horrible lines to catch every line of dialogue, so I'd have go back over those scenes to see for sure.

 

To be fair, they're really pushing a Veronica/Betty romance. They even had a kissing scene between them in the first episode.  I get the feeling they'll shoot themselves in the foot by having a bizarre trilpe-love triangle with Betty choosing between Veronica and Archie, Veronica picking between Archie and Betyy, and... Archie picking between Veronica and.... the teacher.

 

The scene where Jughead and Archie agreed that they definitely aren't gay for each other had hilariously more romantic chemistry than Archie and any woman, by the way.

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**in hysterical laughter** OH-HO MY GOD EVERY EPISODE GETS WORRRRRSSSSEEEE!!!! >:D

 

Kevin was thankfully silent but here's a rundown

 

 

Chuck Clayton one of RIverdale's only Black Students turned out to be an abuser of women who gets girls to have sex with him then calls them sluts on social media

 

Betty investigates and finds out he's done it to tons of girls, as did Jason Blossom, and they have a play book

 

they find the play book

 

AND THEN BETTY DRESSES UP AS HER SISTER ROOFIES CLAYTON, AND TORTURES HIM INTO A CONFESSION BY HOLDING HIM UNDER SCALDING WATER CALLING HIM JASON AND REFFERING TO HERSELF BY HER SISTER'S NAME!!!!!!!

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Finally got to watch the third episode. We resorted to a legal method which meant a bunch of shitty ads that made it less fun to watch.

 

The maple syrup thing was genuinely one of the dumbest things I've ever seen a show attempt to pass off as serious drama.

 

And did they photoshop it onto the picture of Veronica or did they somehow get it all over her face without her noticing?

 

God, this whole episode felt very irrelevant (compared to he rest of it) and even progressively dumber. 

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Finally got to watch the third episode. We resorted to a legal method which meant a bunch of shitty ads that made it less fun to watch.

 

The maple syrup thing was genuinely one of the dumbest things I've ever seen a show attempt to pass off as serious drama.

 

And did they photoshop it onto the picture of Veronica or did they somehow get it all over her face without her noticing?

 

God, this whole episode felt very irrelevant (compared to he rest of it) and even progressively dumber.

evidently, the Sticky maple thing was a reference to a page on Urban dictionary describing a(probably fictional) sex act, cw's censors obviously didn't know that which is how it got in

 

and ep 4 is worse....

due primarily to AWFUL writing making it accidentally look like Kevin was trying to hook up with Veronica sexually (I actually sent an anonymous ask to one of the show's writers because I was worried they were trying to ret-con Kevin as Straight or Bi and she said "no, Kevin and Veronica are just friends nothing else")

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

in episode  7 Veronica calls Kevin "her gay" and then he grinds on her in a nightclub

 

 

so we've basically reached the point where we're SURE cw Kevin is NOT Gay and wants to fuck Veronica and she's basically the only person who still thinks he's gay

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in episode  7 Veronica calls Kevin "her gay" and then he grinds on her in a nightclub

 

 

so we've basically reached the point where we're SURE cw Kevin is NOT Gay and wants to fuck Veronica and she's basically the only person who still thinks he's gay

 

So, the love subplot in Kick Ass?

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  • 5 months later...

"It was the ultinate cliffhanger" was the actual first line of the finale, in direct reference to it.

 

It's beautifully stupid.

I honestly feel like Riverdale's writing staff were trying to write a horrible show

 

highlights of the Pilot script (which didn't make it into the final episode) included

 

Kevin (who is I assume 15 since he's 15 in the comics) trying to use Grindr to hook up with adult men, then deciding to go "watch gay porn with Betty" when it didn't work out

 

and apparently there was a leak early on that implied Archie killed somebody, which also never happened

 

 

interestingly enough there was supposedly a scrapped Storyline where Kevin was closeted because his dad was Homophobic and THAT'S why his Dynamic with Veronica was semi-romantic in the final show, they scrapped the closet storyline but didn't re-write any of the other elements of said storyline

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