Doom Metal Alchemist Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 My kneejerk guess was Karma Chameleon. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 6 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: My kneejerk guess was Karma Chameleon. Why can't skeletons play church music? They don't have organs. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Why did the ghost go to the dance alone? He had no body to go with. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died he kept insisting for us to B positive, but it's hard without him. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 How did Jesus' crusifixion save us? It's because he nailed it. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Just now, AnimationFan14 said: Zeni 2018 A friend of mine has admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. I'm worried, but he says he can stop whenever he wants. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae School. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Has anyone seen my electrons? It's hard to keep an ion them. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Did you hear about the limo driver who had no customers for 20 years? His whole career, and he had nothing to chauffeur it. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 (edited) What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid Edited January 28, 2018 by TrigunBebop
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 What's a dog say when it sits on sandpaper? Ruff 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 My ex still misses me. But her aim is getting better. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Balloons might not play instruments, but I've heard they're really into pop music. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Why was the singer locked out of his house? He was out of key. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Did you know that if you listen to a death song one million times it becomes a Megadeth song? 1
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 3 minutes ago, TrigunBebop said: Why was the singer locked out of his house? He was out of key. How'd he get back in? He went to the keyboardist. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 I tried viewing the solar eclipse by looking at it through a colinder, but it ended up straining my eyes. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 What does a dinosaur use to pay bills? Tyrannosaurus checks.
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 When does a sandwich cook? When it's bacon lettuce and tomato.
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 3 minutes ago, TrigunBebop said: When does a sandwich cook? When it's bacon lettuce and tomato. I don't get this one.
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Did you hear about the journalist who masturbated on all of his papers? He's got a room full of sticky notes. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Just now, Doom Metal Alchemist said: I don't get this one. Say it out loud.
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 1 minute ago, TrigunBebop said: Say it out loud. When it's baking lettuce and tomato? 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 1 minute ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: When it's baking lettuce and tomato? Yep.
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Used napkin, empty bottle, half-eaten sandwich, expired food. Oops... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to talk trash.
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 Did you hear about the train passenger who got electrocuted? He got promoted from passenger to conductor. 1
TrigunBebop Posted January 28, 2018 Author Posted January 28, 2018 What do you call a marathon for pastors? A Rev Run. 1
SlappyKincaid Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 A dwarf fortune-teller escaped from prison, hasn't been caught yet. There's a small medium at large. 2
AnimationFan14 Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside 2
Phillies Posted January 28, 2018 Posted January 28, 2018 that poor lizard is gonna end up eagle food. not funny.
AnimationFan14 Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind 1
SlappyKincaid Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 What did the buffalo say to his child when he went off to college? "Bison" 1
SlappyKincaid Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 Mickey Mouse is in divorce court, and the judge asks him, "So let me get this straight, you want to divorce from your wife Minnie because she's too silly?" Mickey says, "No, your honor, haha, I said I want a divorce because she's fucking Goofy!" 1
SlappyKincaid Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, and it is destroying his family. 1
SlappyKincaid Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 An African tribe recently had a new king take over the reign, and he wanted to make his people known throughout the continent. They specialized in building large elaborate houses out of woven grass, and the king decided that they should spread their knowledge and artistry by any means necessary. Several contacts were peaceful, and knowledge was shared, but there were a few that ended in violence, with the king and his army overthrowing the ruler and taking their royal thrones and bringing them back to the main village, where they were placed in the upper part of the king's home, as trophies. However, the king overestimated his construction knowledge, and as his men were loading yet another trophy throne into his attic, the weight from all the conquests proved to be too much for the thatch supports, and his entire house collapsed. The moral of the story? Those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
AnimationFan14 Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 I used to be a banker but I lost interest 2
Juice McKenzie Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 8 hours ago, TrigunBebop said: A reptile dysfunction. I like it
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