Phillies Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 A snake bit Chuck Norris. THE SNAKE DIED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 chuck norris always gets 21 in blackjack no matter how many times he "hits" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginguy Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Medusa 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drunkenwarrior Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 (edited) One time Chuck Norris was walking around in the forest, looking for hippies to use as firewood, when a wild boar suddenly crossed his path. Big mistake. Chuck lifted the boar into the air with his mind, spun him around and digested him telekineticly, chuck wasn't even hungry. Edited December 1, 2017 by Drunkenwarrior 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarPanda Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginguy Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Chuck Norris was going to be added to Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for his beard. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drunkenwarrior Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 In the evening, Chuck Norris likes to sit in the dark and silently pray that his enemies get cancer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drunkenwarrior Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Chuck Norris starts his day like every red-blooded man: with a giant boner. After rubbing one off, Chuck flosses his teeth with steel wool. Thean he east a bowl of dynamite, takes a massive two-flush megashit, and wipes his ass with intercepted letters to Santa Clause 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 chuck norris can beat you in connect 4 with one move 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drunkenwarrior Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 One time, Chuck Norris read a news piece about some guy who was given a death penalty for treason. Treason is especially offensive to Chuck because he embodies everything that is, was, or ever will be American. Chuck Norris loves America so much that when he gets interrupted during sex, he gets red, white and blue balls. So when Chuck read about this traitor, he killed himself, went to hell and ripped the guy's face off and uses it as a loincloth to this day. Chuck then resurrected himself, went to lunch, and paid for his food with exact change. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nameraka Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drunkenwarrior Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Here's a list of chuck norris' favorite foods: Whisky 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapinator_X Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 Chuck Norris once fought Bruce Lee. Chuck lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 4 minutes ago, imchapp.in said: Chuck Norris once fought Bruce Lee. Chuck lost. Its a true story^ Didn't he beat Jean Claude Van Dame though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 17 minutes ago, imchapp.in said: Chuck Norris once fought Bruce Lee. Chuck lost. but lee has been dead for 20 years. norris is immortal. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Posted December 1, 2017 Author Share Posted December 1, 2017 18 minutes ago, fuggnificent said: but lee has been dead for 20 years. norris is immortal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greeny Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I fucked with Chuck Norris once. I've been dead ever since. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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