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UnevenEdge

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Posted (edited)

One time Chuck Norris was walking around in the forest, looking for hippies to use as firewood, when a wild boar suddenly crossed his path. Big mistake. Chuck lifted the boar into the air with his mind, spun him around and digested him telekineticly, chuck wasn't even hungry.

Edited by Drunkenwarrior
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Posted

Chuck Norris starts his day like every red-blooded man: with a giant boner. After rubbing one off, Chuck flosses his teeth with steel wool. Thean he east a bowl of dynamite, takes a massive two-flush megashit, and wipes his ass with intercepted letters to Santa Clause

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Posted

One time, Chuck Norris read a news piece about some guy who was given a death penalty for treason. Treason is especially offensive to Chuck because he embodies everything that is, was, or ever will be American. Chuck Norris loves America so much that when he gets interrupted during sex, he gets red, white and blue balls. So when Chuck read about this traitor, he killed himself, went to hell and ripped the guy's face off and uses it as a loincloth to this day. Chuck then resurrected himself, went to lunch, and paid for his food with exact change.
 

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