Professah Tex Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 Or something similar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professah Tex Posted November 4, 2017 Author Share Posted November 4, 2017 So welcome to the first ever UE comedy stand-up open mic night or what-ever the fuck I can say to get a reply. Lots of fresh new talent out there So Ill just set the mic down and let who evers ready steer this thread in a diff direction other than the way it's heading right now..which is straight to page 99. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azalar Hex Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 ::steps up on stage:: How is everybody doing tonight? ... Shitcock. ::backflips off the stage:: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professah Tex Posted November 4, 2017 Author Share Posted November 4, 2017 Ok so two feminists go to a bar right, and one of them orders a sex on the beach... but not without the other one having to ask if the sex was consential am I right haaa. I was hoping someone would've came in with a good punchline by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professah Tex Posted November 4, 2017 Author Share Posted November 4, 2017 I'm working on rap right now dammit. wheres the comedians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katt_goddess Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 I'd be a stand up comedian. But I have bad knees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginguy Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 Two guys walk into a bar The third one ducks.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuggnificent Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 Hi hows everybody doing tonight? blah... obviously not too good if youre here on friday night and all youve got to do is read this thread, huh, right? lol well thats how i feel anyhow.. the last time i had a good time on a friday night it was while i was drunk in a club taking selfies with a bunch of white girls standing in line with me on the way to the bathroom. they didnt know what i was going to do with the pictures, they were just happy to be photographed. i ended up trolling white supremacist websites with the photos. nothing makes a racist more angry than seeing a black person surrounded by a bunch of ecstatic pretty white women holding their pee. it'd would only have been worse if i was a guy wearing a hoodie drinking a 40 in a rap video. actually, i hit 35 and i realized the only reason i went out was to look pretty and get attention from men. do you know how outdated that is in this day in age?? with dating apps i only have to look pretty once say every 3 or 6 months, take a picture, upload it to facebook and now i can get dick while im sitting at home with no makeup wearing a mumu eating haagan daaz... fuck going out.. its for 20 year olds who still value "friendship" - which is them just trying to out pretty each other while they reject any guy that actually has interest in them. i never understood going out with other girls and looking all hot...then dancing with guys.. but then if you actually fuck them you have to deal with your "friends" hating you and telling all your other friends that you blew some dood in a parking garage of a club FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE... like - what the fuck... so i just stay home... have sex when i feel like it.. and like the pictures of all my 30 something friends at bars with guys theyll never fuck who somehow think they're accomplishing more in life than me just because they went out and talked shit about their jobs and all the people that happen to not be in the room with them at the time. fuck that. i stayed home,saved money, binged an entire season of supernatural and hooked up - so who really accomplished something on the weekend? so its november 2017. what the fuck? who is still mad the y2k thing didnt happen? the more time that passes the more pissed i am that Armageddon still hasnt happened yet. And we dont have any of the cool shit that Back to the Future promised us in the movies - we dont have flying cars or hoverboards. even WORSE - shit that happened 30-50 years ago is happening AGAIN. if i was a time traveler i wouldnt even want to come back to this decade... its just a huge historical remake with different locations, different actors thats not as good as the first time it came out. i have a lot of other shit to complain about but i doubt anyone will listen to me so im ending this here.. i might come back with some more lame shit if someone likes this or replies to it .. blargh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimModSponges Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 Did you know that ants who have been exposed to radiation lose the ability to communicate? Its because they're mute-ants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilosipherStoned Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 Did you know that ants who have been exposed to radiation lose the ability to communicate? Its because they're mute-ants. You know what I honestly didn't know that ants could be such an early indicator of radiation poisoning.. if that's true.. because that is a cool fact..but nobody came for the fanfics I'm sure so unless you came to work this mic I suggest ya get back there to the stands.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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