HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Share your awkward and horrific christmas stories. Probably my worst memories of christmas involved my Dad and his brother dressing up as Belsnickel and beating me and my brother with a branch. It sucked, and they did it just for the love of beating kids, it didn't matter if you were good or bad. It got to the point where my cousins on my moms side wouldn't visit christmas day because of how violent it would get. A trick they would do is have one standing outside while the other chased us in the house. That way if we ran outside it would be like a damn Jason Voorhees moment. One example was when I ran outside, and was promptly tackled to the ground and dragged by my leg over to the oak tree; I was 7 years old by the way. I then had my leg tied to a rope and I was hoisted into the air by my leg. My shirt was then pulled down over my face and my bare stomach and chest were beaten with a branch. Some of the welts actually bled! That also dislocated my leg, which I have had a slight limp in it ever since. My brother was held down and had one of his baby teeth pulled out with pliers. It was fucking sadistic. We did get gifts and stuff, but if we acted mopey or pissed off the rest of the day from our beating, our parents would say we were ungrateful for our gifts and Belsnickel would be back if we didn't cheer up. Most people I know didn't have this tradition, and people who did said that they were threatened with being beat, but never got beat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEXobiologist Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 so.... how does this horror story end? when i was 17, i was getting over the flu on Christmas but still wanted to go to the punk show at this disgusting punk venue that i loved. i had ate easy cheese on wheat thins all day long, like two cans worth >.> anyways, they had a keg in the basement so i got me a cup and started slamming some cheap warm beer. by the time the music was about to start, i knew i wouldn't make it. i was right in front and the second it started, it felt like the vibrations were stirring my stomach. i ran to go puke in one of the bathrooms, more like two individual stalls, but both were occupied. the owner wouldn't let me out in case a cop saw a drunk minor puking in the alley. so he put a christmas cupcake in the middle of the floor and said "aim true sweetie!" that was it, like a trigger i emptied my cheesy contents all over the floor in front of like 20 people who were cheering me on. then i watched a kid from my speech class clean it all up without letting me help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 so.... how does this horror story end? when i was 17, i was getting over the flu on Christmas but still wanted to go to the punk show at this disgusting punk venue that i loved. i had ate easy cheese on wheat thins all day long, like two cans worth >.> anyways, they had a keg in the basement so i got me a cup and started slamming some cheap warm beer. by the time the music was about to start, i knew i wouldn't make it. i was right in front and the second it started, it felt like the vibrations were stirring my stomach. i ran to go puke in one of the bathrooms, more like two individual stalls, but both were occupied. the owner wouldn't let me out in case a cop saw a drunk minor puking in the alley. so he put a christmas cupcake in the middle of the floor and said "aim true sweetie!" that was it, like a trigger i emptied my cheesy contents all over the floor in front of like 20 people who were cheering me on. then i watched a kid from my speech class clean it all up without letting me help. He had you puke on a cupcake? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEXobiologist Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 thats punk rock, baby??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 thats punk rock, baby??? What a waste of a perfectly good cupcake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kudasai Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Christmas Eve 2007 was certainaly memorable. That morning woke up with excruciating pain in my right testicle. It swelled up to the size of a golf ball. So instead of going to work that day I had to go the hospital to get surgery on my jewels. What happened was a vein somehow got twisted while I was sleeping which was constricting blood flow which caused the swelling. So I spent the holidays wearing a jockstrap for two weeks, doped up on vicodin and experiencing the single worst physical pain I ever been in my entire life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mochi Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Share your awkward and horrific christmas stories. Probably my worst memories of christmas involved my Dad and his brother dressing up as Belsnickel and beating me and my brother with a branch. It sucked, and they did it just for the love of beating kids, it didn't matter if you were good or bad. It got to the point where my cousins on my moms side wouldn't visit christmas day because of how violent it would get. A trick they would do is have one standing outside while the other chased us in the house. That way if we ran outside it would be like a damn Jason Voorhees moment. One example was when I ran outside, and was promptly tackled to the ground and dragged by my leg over to the oak tree; I was 7 years old by the way. I then had my leg tied to a rope and I was hoisted into the air by my leg. My shirt was then pulled down over my face and my bare stomach and chest were beaten with a branch. Some of the welts actually bled! That also dislocated my leg, which I have had a slight limp in it ever since. My brother was held down and had one of his baby teeth pulled out with pliers. It was fucking sadistic. We did get gifts and stuff, but if we acted mopey or pissed off the rest of the day from our beating, our parents would say we were ungrateful for our gifts and Belsnickel would be back if we didn't cheer up. Most people I know didn't have this tradition, and people who did said that they were threatened with being beat, but never got beat. what the fuck man, I'm so sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mochi Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Christmas Eve 2007 was certainaly memorable. That morning woke up with excruciating pain in my right testicle. It swelled up to the size of a golf ball. So instead of going to work that day I had to go the hospital to get surgery on my jewels. What happened was a vein somehow got twisted while I was sleeping which was constricting blood flow which caused the swelling. So I spent the holidays wearing a jockstrap for two weeks, doped up on vicodin and experiencing the single worst physical pain I ever been in my entire life. Jesus tap dancing Christ, the worst christmas I ever had was that one year we literally had no presents, nothing like this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 so.... how does this horror story end? We got strong enough to overpower them. The tradition ended pretty quick when they realized that they could get hurt. Dad had some of his ribs broken, and my uncle got hit in the head with a brick and beaten with a shovel. I had two of my ribs broken and a black eye, and my brother had a broken nose. I think I would have came out of that better had I waited another couple of years, but I guess it was good enough for 14 lol. So pretty much we ruined christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 Christmas Eve 2007 was certainaly memorable. That morning woke up with excruciating pain in my right testicle. It swelled up to the size of a golf ball. So instead of going to work that day I had to go the hospital to get surgery on my jewels. What happened was a vein somehow got twisted while I was sleeping which was constricting blood flow which caused the swelling. So I spent the holidays wearing a jockstrap for two weeks, doped up on vicodin and experiencing the single worst physical pain I ever been in my entire life. Ouch! I actually got checked for that once, turned out my groin pain was due to a hernia...From being shot in the stomach and never getting the bullets removed. Back when I was 12, A friend was shooting a shotgun, and he banked a shot that had a half dozen pellets hit me in my thigh and stomach. I had that fixed this past summer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 what the fuck man, I'm so sorry No prob, I mean just look at how normal we turned out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEXobiologist Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 We got strong enough to overpower them. The tradition ended pretty quick when they realized that they could get hurt. Dad had some of his ribs broken, and my uncle got hit in the head with a brick and beaten with a shovel. I had two of my ribs broken and a black eye, and my brother had a broken nose. I think I would have came out of that better had I waited another couple of years, but I guess it was good enough for 14 lol. So pretty much we ruined christmas. O_O... i'm afraid of your family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MasqueradeOverture Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 We got strong enough to overpower them. The tradition ended pretty quick when they realized that they could get hurt. Dad had some of his ribs broken, and my uncle got hit in the head with a brick and beaten with a shovel. I had two of my ribs broken and a black eye, and my brother had a broken nose. I think I would have came out of that better had I waited another couple of years, but I guess it was good enough for 14 lol. So pretty much we ruined christmas. Are you sure you weren't celebrating Festivus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 when i was 17, i was getting over the flu on Christmas but still wanted to go to the punk show at this disgusting punk venue that i loved. i had ate easy cheese on wheat thins all day long, like two cans worth >.> anyways, they had a keg in the basement so i got me a cup and started slamming some cheap warm beer. by the time the music was about to start, i knew i wouldn't make it. i was right in front and the second it started, it felt like the vibrations were stirring my stomach. i ran to go puke in one of the bathrooms, more like two individual stalls, but both were occupied. the owner wouldn't let me out in case a cop saw a drunk minor puking in the alley. so he put a christmas cupcake in the middle of the floor and said "aim true sweetie!" that was it, like a trigger i emptied my cheesy contents all over the floor in front of like 20 people who were cheering me on. then i watched a kid from my speech class clean it all up without letting me help. I think we all have had those moments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 Are you sure you weren't celebrating Festivus? My dad does hate all holidays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mochi Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Ouch! I actually got checked for that once, turned out my groin pain was due to a hernia...From being shot in the stomach and never getting the bullets removed. Back when I was 12, A friend was shooting a shotgun, and he banked a shot that had a half dozen pellets hit me in my thigh and stomach. I had that fixed this past summer. worst pain I ever had was a Kidney stone I hear it's identical to childbirth pain, apperently cola and Black tea cause it, so ever since I've avoided caramel colored sodas (apparently ginger ale and fruit sodas are okay) and Black tea technically I've avoided ALL tea but having looked it up doctors don't think Herbal tea causes the stones (herb teas are different than Black or "true" teas) so I'll probably start drinking chamomile and Hibiscus tea again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 O_O... i'm afraid of your family You wouldn't be the first person to have said that if you believe it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEXobiologist Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 No prob, I mean just look at how normal we turned out. soooo, which one is wilson? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 I'm on the left Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEXobiologist Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 nice to meet you wilson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 My name isn't wilson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEXobiologist Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAC Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Well this bread has been a fun read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted December 22, 2016 Author Share Posted December 22, 2016 (bloody facepalm) I get it now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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