Lasty

It'll fuck up his depth perception, but at least Carl gets to wear a badass eye patch like a badass now.

Talk about pretentious bullshit. Just turn it off! >_<

That was an excuse to get everyone to clean their apartments.

With some dudes it's a matter of not cleaning themselves and various residues and pubic hairs stuck to the tip will cause the stream to split and spray. Also, not showering after sex or masturbation.

That's the thing, they already ARE designed that way. Most urinals have a lip that extends out at the bottom by as much as 6 inches so you can hold your pecker over the top of it. Somehow, either through negligence or incompetence or just plain being an asshole, people fail to utilize this feature and the ground is always covered in half dried urine.

It's insecurity with me. I cannot pee in front of other people unless I'm about to burst.

It's not... I've seen things, man... I've seen horrible things. -_'

Pick a spot on the wall. Don't look away. Make sure to stand as far away from the edge of the urinal as possible to get as much spittle on the ground around the urinal as you can to make sure the janitor has something to do and so that people get to step in your piss. Talking is hit and miss. Strangers, almost always no, but if it's a bro it's cool. If other people are having a conversation, it's easier to get away with joining in than it is to start one. If you being slapped and yelled at, you are not in fact using a mens urinal but the sink in the womens restroom. Contrary to popular belief, this is frowned upon. Ignore the glory hole. Do not, under any circumstances, use a toilet stall to take a piss. If someone shits their pants waiting on you when there was an open urinal, you'll deserve whatever you get. All in all, men's public restrooms are terrible and no one should use them except in a dire emergency. I think the reason women take so long is that each one of them takes the time to individually clean the entire restroom after use.

Lying pie flies

The cake is a lie...

Busking. Self employed.

-_'

That's rough, bro.

My first decently recorded single...

You must be thinking of some other movie.

He was kind of in it I guess? As a computer.

Check out my pecs! Your pecs are epic. Thanks, bro.

Nice.

FUCK

I was just letting you know how rad it is. To tag people...

I'm not the one with cockroaches flowing from my nostrils like niagra falls

... but... those are cockroaches o_O

This is cerial biznesh. Everybody panic