Ok number 1 is true because he IS an asshole...
but I say 2 is your lie
1) I passed a lie detector test in middle school while I lied consistantly
2) i used to run around chasing kids growling like a monster in elementary school
3) I managed to get a payday loan in college, then convinced the company that gave me said loan that I was not the person in question and never had to pay them back