RPM Jr.

This is why I don't drink anymore.

I'm in the not getting ass worms department because I'm not a filthy douche bag.

Sexy underwear...as opposed to not sexy underwear.

Hey, I saw something in an automated rejection letter that made me laugh and wanted to share. Sue me.

Go drunk, Zeni. You're home. (Sorry. Had to do it. Drink up, dude. Just don't get alcohol poisoning.)

lol no. Also, no.

I have to. Neck beards are itchy. I can't stand having a neck beard. But hey, all power to ya for embracing it.

It's your age. Topic: I got a rejection letter (automated, of course) nearly three months after applying for a job and didn't even get contacted for an interview. Therefore, I found the phrase "after careful consideration" very lulzworthy.

Again, I am aware of that. It wasn't creepy back then. Unfortunately, things change. I'll leave it at that. Take it for what you will. Now quit derailing my thread, asshole! (Kidding about the asshole part. Please get back on topic. Thanks.)

And they were totally lulzworthy, right? I know this one was. Boy howdy.

You really should step your troll game up. Would you like to know something, Mr. Chode? I miss the old you. I miss the Zeni who would complain about not getting dates with girls his age. Now, you're just like Matthew McConaughey's character in "Dazed and Confused", except for the fact you just come off as a major creep. At least when I first met you, you seemed more genuine. Now? Well, now you're just a fake ass little dude who really thinks we like this sort of thing. In fact, you're pretty much like Haku, who was a pedophile. That's right. A pedophile. Do yourself a favor and find a way to invent a time machine that travels forward and backward in time so you can go back to the old you. We'll all be better people for it.

Yes. Yes, I actually did.

Shut up, chode.

I know it's an automated response. I just found the wording to be hilarious.

I have connections. Just...not...at the university I applied to work at.

I had applied for a similar job with the local school district, but they were much swifter in their responses. I didn't get that job either, but at least they brought me for an interview and told me they went with someone else within a week's time. The university, as far as I know, never even contacted me for an interview so I forgot about the whole thing.

Okay then.

No, thank you.

J! E! T! S! L! O! L!

And you still had ass worms. In your ass. Now that is...Well, actually, that's pretty sad, man. I know you live in rural Tennessee, but I grew up in the sticks of Southeast Texas. I played football in the mud as a kid. Hell, we even played football in a muddy ditch one time. And you wanna know something, Nabbers? I never got ass worms. But yeah, you're totally winning at life. So much so that you somehow got ass worms, somehow cooked a mouse in an oven, and you "wash" your clothes by driving around with them in the back seat. Yep. You're a real winner, dude. You're the smartest man in the room. Everybody needs to follow your example and get ass worms. Maybe then the world will be a better place.

I came back from hiatus. What did I miss?

I applied for a Video Production Specialist position with University of Houston-Downtown in August. I hadn't heard anything from them at all since. That is...until earlier tonight. "Dear (my real name which I will not post here), "We have received your application for the position Video Production Specialist I -- STA0003185. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for this position. "We invite you to visit the career section of our website regularly. "We thank you for your interest in University of Houston-Downtown and wish you all the best in your career. "Best regards, "University of Houston-Downtown "Employment Services and Operations" Now normally, I wouldn't be laughing. I'd be pretty upset. But what's funny is I applied for it two months ago. Not only that, but I didn't even get called in for an interview. So yeah, I had already moved on from even thinking I had a shot. If they were trying to get a hold of me, well, they should've left a message. I didn't even get an email for an interview . (Not that I know of, at least.) The hilarity of it all. Like Schwarzwald said, this (life) really is a comedy. A black comedy, but a comedy nonetheless.