InsaneFox

Get it! 🍆🍆🍆

Eh, only worry about the bright side of yourself, is what I would say if my opinion mattered.

That’s presumptuous to assume that titty size = an upgrade. Small titty girls are just fine too.

Yeah. It’s nice when the split ends well. Makes it easier to move on, I hear.

Nothing like cries for attention on a Sunday afternoon to prepare you for the work week.

Probably. I do that.

Wasn't that a thing at some point?

He can be, I'll go find my trusty eye poker.

Same character.

There was once this cool guy named Odin. He lost his eye but he has some birds and wolves and shit. The end.

Master level chess players burn as many calories as professional athletes.

Boring day. Wasn’t thinking I would get a L story today but Beech Fuckin’ Grove did not disappoint. Little old hunchbacked lady in the pump aisle, corner of the store: *grunting and moaning in complaint* Me: Something I can help you with today? Lady: I n-need the caramel candies. The crunchy ones. Me: Uh, well, we don’t have any candy back here... but—. Lady: It’s always back here! This is why I come to Lowes! Me: Well, we have some snack candies by the registers... Lady, who I’m slowly becoming convinced is an actual witch: Tell me the quickest way to the caramel candies. Me: How about I just walk you up there? Witch(?) and I awkwardly shamble up to the front register, the which making indecipherable comments as we pass the halloween decorations, something to do with candy, probably. Me (arriving at the registers): *finds the cashier* Hey, do we have any caramel candies? Like the worthers or something? Witch: NOT THE WORTHERS, THE KRAFT ONES! Cashier: I don’t think we have any, but I can show you the halloween candies over here. Me: *ninja vanishes behind a throng of customers, fleeing before I can be cursed*

Control the three, control the world.

You want me to kill somebody?

There is no subscribe button.

That’s about it. I think.

Futurama?

Pat and I know each other Biblically.

I mean. Yes, he may want you to sit on his face. But it’s a two person game and it’s gotta be fun for everybody. Consent is required.

Fuckin’ rekt.

I don’t know how to process compliments.

In breakroom: Female coworker: Awwww! *looks at me putting on a pouty face* My skittles got stuck. Me: Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Her: *stares* Other female coworker: I’ll get it... *tips machine, skittles fall* Me (after a solid 30 seconds of silence): I was gonna get it.

Beyond that, you have to accept that you control nothing and have a limited reach for manipulating the world around you. Some things can’t be forced, most things shouldn’t, and few have the power to force them regardless.

Remember what it is you’re looking for in the short term vs. the long term. See if they match what you need. Then flip the bill and try to figure out what they could be looking for and honestly see if YOU fit the bill. Most times, you’ll find that they’re not really what you’re looking for, and you’re stuck on more basic or biological reasons for liking them.