Yes thats what I mean. I think everyone wants what they dont have. Like I know a lot of ppl think my life is interesting and adventurous but it doesn't always feel good. It's scary a lot of the time or I feel like a joke. I'm really just trying to make it, acheive my goals, and get a house and be as much like everybody else as I can. Idk if I'll ever get that. I know you will. You kinda already have, or at least it looks that way to me which is what I mean.. like outside perspective makes it easy to envy others.