Drunkenwarrior

So confusing. I'll just stick to my interracial midgets

I thought the looner thing to do was blow them up and pop them or something

Wait....what do you do with the balloons?

That you know of...ever seen ''The Borrowers''?

I mean...maybe not everyone needs to procreate <3

Peanuts are ridiculous And I'm talking fully in the water, sneakers on the shoes

No way

Well you can feel free to sit and rot if you like....

I want my kids to say things like ''MOM! Dad is doing that weird belly button thing again!''

Is ''the bedroom'' what you call your butt?

And a giant butt plug next to the mirror....

I don't think Mike's hard lemonade malt liquor...

Dance for yourself, I got real problems over here

Get married, have kids, raise them the best that I can. Then when I get old and they move out, I wanna have them tell stories about what a crazy old man I am; wearing sneakers I'm the pool and arguing with the Walmart robots about the price of peanuts

I think I just scrummed

Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish....ya see where I'm going with this? Teach a man to fish, and he'll stink up the whole town

Maybe I should go to school

''hello 911......''

He's a weirdo. His girlfriend is hot though

They blonde guy needs a haircut

Who might those other 7 be?

Science puns...

Lemme get my converse

we have an exxon fairly close to me and occasionally you'll hear their alarms if that place goes nuclear my whole city is gone

I mean once I'm dead and gone, everything I've done will die with me...good and the bad