Zenigundam

Don't trust her. I trusted a girl when she said in person that we'd meet up for a 2nd date, and we never did because she ignored my texts, phone calls, and in person pursuits. You could be right, bro, but find out for sure whether her sorrow was legitimate.

Don't say that. Don't you ever say that. I'm devastated atm. 🧔

Do you remember how I was back in the old days? 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

Like what? 😌

We'll talk about this. I'm just a little upset, pay no mind.

Why did she do that?! Why she do that?!?!?! 😰😡😰😡😰

Are you two official?

Stop playing with me. *puts stilgar in a headlock* 🦒💪⛹️‍♂️🚘👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

Haha everybody keeps saying stuff like, "What's wrong with you?!" and "Seek help", especially when I comment on those Crime Watch Daily videos talk about a boy's determined quest to find his (sexy, smoking hot, but kind) legal teenage belle. 😌

You had me at 18 and then I quickly lost interest with everything that followed. 🐺

I was going to do it, but I was kinda worried that one or more of the UEMB ladies would put a hit out on me because I spurned them for younger, newer models of female. The internet hath no fury like a woman scorned... 🐧

Don't call them that. I don't like stuck up girls either, but when you use that word it makes them associate you with a Lifetime psychopath. 🤦‍♂️

That makes no sense. I date young, legal women. I have to date young, I have to cherish my youth. 🎅💪🚘

I don't get upset often, but: 1) When girls hear me but don't respond 2) When girls lie to me 3) When girls try to end the first date prematurely 4) When girls keep logging back in after ignoring my messages 5) When white knights intervene 🐰🕹🐺💪💪🚘🍺⛹️‍♂️👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

😌 Can you say, "terminally insecure"?

Bacon comes from pigs, not trees, doubt he'll pick up on it though

Nobody's ever heard of that. You watch a bunch of indie films lol

Duck fashe 🦆🦆🦆

Those hips... those tender lips...

Getting a chicken parm sub, four middle age folks watching me peruse my phones, no hot legal age teenage women in sight on this rainy night. I'm so frustrated... why is this happening?! 🐺

Dude, it's rated PG-13. 😐

...

You missed me?

I mean there she is on the sidewalk, legally sexy, and the kiss happens, but at what age should he change his interests? 🦒

I didn't actually cry, but I did get the butterflies. It's too bad that Madeline is 19 and not in high school. Legal HS babes know best.