The Evil Dr. Longshadow

Oh, great... Let me guess, the contact is an overworked assistant manager who probably just wonders why you called and described a guy with a tail like rat.

Inflation reversed?

He would probably just fly away to a place that doesn't suck.

Fried chicken.

If all tort lawyers were paid up front, like contractors, only the very rich would ever hire them. As it turns out, any tort lawyer asking to be paid up front is probably just there to separate you from your money. Why would he care about whether you win or lose your case if he alresdy has your money? This is part of why contingency agreements are important. The other part is providing access to the legal system for people of limited means.

Wears fake jeans made of elastic fabric.

Leave... your troubles... outside. So, life is disappointing, eh? Well, forget it. Here, life is beautiful. The girls are beautiful. Even the orchestra... is beautiful! Then, there's this happy little earworm for your amusement.

A man pulled a few weeds. They just didn't belong in the tomato garden. Crowd reaction, egged on by the neighborhood busybody: "OMFG! He's GUTTING the tomato garden!"

Cool. Do it enough times and you might have enough audio for an Mp3 download on Amazon. People buy comedy.

Or you'll make snother phone call?

Seems the Jerky Boys or Crank Yankers have nothing on a hysterical first class Karen calling long distance with a lot of Ill-informed rantings.

Two pounds of mashed potatoes mixed with spices and beef pan drippings.

Listening to recordings of 1930's radio broadcasts. Did most people really sound so much different back then than people today, or was there just a limited pool of voice actors using the same accents and overtones in the majority of broadcasts?

Chrome Book.

My street smells like bus exhaust and that has me thinking of Manhattan.

A Monty Python skit... about a glutton.

Only three slices? You should try it my way and eat the whole fourteen inch pizza with sausage, pepperoni, bacon, onions and green peppers. When pizza is the game, I'm a regular Mister Creosote.

Baseball caps: Crown too tall... Elmer Fudd Crown too short... Belongs on a lady Flat bill... Lego man Arched bill... correct Mesh back and styrofoam front... hideous 100% cotton... correct

The bigger the chain wheel, the faster the bicycle. The smallest gear in the cassette could also make a diffrence.