Codename: Jackass

GO TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL FUCK

What about BBQ sauce bread or mustard bread?

Did you take that table out front and set it on fire for assaulting you?

Hateful, regressive views on the worth of other races and peoples don't rub off on me. Except for Martians.

That's a pic from the sheriff's office. It's not even my county, thankfully, but I lived in that area for a few years.

I don't care if you're black, white, blue or purple, because the only thing that matters to me is how many boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch I can get my hands on.

Good

Overrated

Friendship ended with Tony Romo Dak Prescott is my friend now.

...

Who is my waifu?

... The what?

The what?

Who cares?

There was a character on Rugrats named Dr. Lipschitz and I got my mouth washed out with soap by the teacher forsaying it in preschool.

Maybe it's a prank? They held a "rally" a couple years ago in a similar area so I doubt it. We're talking extremely rural area, towns with populations of <2000.

They live among us, they breed and they vote. Ugh.

Despair

#healthateverysize

Texas is a big state with a lot of stupid people in it.

btw here's an [[[ALLEGED]]] Ku Klux Klan questionnaire. So far they're hitting the real, waaaay out there boondocks a couple counties over, but my town's only a hop, skip and a jump up the highway.

This is not very cash money at all.

He also kinda has that child molester look, ya know?

I wouldn't be surprised. I had that motherfucker in line just last week and a lady was talking on the phone and trying to pay with her card, which is fine, whatever, I don't give a fuck, and he whispered in her ear something to the effect of "hey, you can blow me later if you want" while he was waiting to buy his Bud Light. Then when she was done he pulled her aside and said it again and she either didn't hear or was so taken aback that she didn't really get it at the time. I mean, shit, sometimes people gotta make Christmas plans and it's not like the Bud Light is gonna lose any alcohol in the twenty seconds it takes to pay. It's kinda rude to jaw on your phone at the checkout line but who really gives a fuck?

No, no, it was more like "How you doin'?" Uhh, well... I don't know, kinda out of it right now. "Well, it can't be much worse than what I'm going through." I'm not trying to say anything, man, uh... what's happening?" "My wife just cheated on me." ... I, uh... don't know what to say... sorry? "Yeah, whatever, just shut up, there's nothing for you to say." You're the one asking me how I'm doing, motherfucker.