Codename: Jackass

FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL ARE RIGGED BECAUSE THE REFEREES HAVE SO MUCH CONTROL OVER THE GAME PHANTOM PENALTIES AND CALLS THAT GO THE FAVORED TEAM'S WAY IS THE USUAL BULLSHIT I HOPE I'M MAKING THIS ALL UP BUT I DON'T THINK SO ANYWAY MY BIRTHDAY WILL CONSIST OF WORKING AT MY SHITTY JOB AND THEN STARING AT A COMPUTER SCREEN AT HOME UNTIL I PASS OUT. MAYBE CALL UP SOME BUDDIES ON MY NEXT DAY OFF IF THEY WANT TO GET DRUNK AND STUPID.

I COULD PROBABLY DRIVE A CAR RIGHT NOW BUT I'M NOT CONFIDENT I COULD BLOW UNDER 0.08. SO I WON'T BE DRIVING ANY CARS FOR THE NEXT FEW HOURS. I BOUGHT A 12-PACK OF EXPENSIVE CRAFT IPA SO I FIGURED I SHOULDN'T SLAM THEM LIKE I WOULD NORMALLY DRINK MY CUSTOMARY THREE TALLBOYS OF PBR.

OOKIE DOOBA LA NOONJE DOOBOO DAGA, HAN SOLO.

The cutoff for Selective Service? yes The cutoff for life? hopefully not but I'll see how this year goes

IS 25 OLD? I'VE BEEN TOLD IT'S OLD. ARE YOU OLD? AM I? HAVE I BEEN REINCARNATED 75 TIMES LIKE THIS ONE GUY SAID AT A PARTY? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL z

I'M A SPORTS FAN IN GENERAL BUT I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL ARE RIGGED AS FUCK BUT THIS IS YOUR THREAD AND I ALSO KNOW ABOUT GRIM FANDANGO WHERE DO WE GO NEXT?

I DON'T KNOW WHY I TOOK A SHOWER A FEW MINUTES AGO NOW I SMELL OF SUAVE BATH PRODUCTS SUAVE: FOR WHEN YOU'RE TOO POOR TO BUY NAME BRAND BUT TOO PROUD TO GO TO THE DOLLAR STORE.

LIVE AND LEARN UNTIL I GOT TO BE ELEVEN OR TWELVE I'D WATCH SCARY MOVIES ON MUTE BECAUSE THE SOUNDS GAVE ME THE WILLIES.

I HAD THIS STUFF CALLED CHERRY BOMB THAT HAD THE MOST POTENT SMELL I'D EVER HAD. GOD THAT STUFF MADE ME FEEL GOOD THEN I GOT BUSTED WITH THAT NUG ON ME LOL

I SHOULD GO I WENT TO AN OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST LAST YEAR BUT HER METHODS WEREN'T FOR ME.

I'M ONE YEAR CLOSER TO DYING I GUESS THE GOOD PART IS I ONLY HAVE ONE YEAR LEFT AS PART OF SELECTIVE SERVICE SO HOPEFULLY THEY WAIT TO BLOW THEIR LOAD ON WORLD WAR THREE UNTIL NEXT YEAR.

I WAS A KID IT WAS JUST FUN TO SEE A COUPLE OF BUFF GUYS PRETEND TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER, I DON'T KNOW. WHEN YOU'RE A KID IT'S ALL REAL AND YOU HAVE HERO AND VILLAIN CHARACTERS TO PULL FOR OR SEE RUINED. THERE WAS NOTHING LIKE SEEING THE HARDY BOYS JUMP OFF LADDERS AND KILL THEMSELVES A LITTLE BIT OR TRIPLE H HITTING THE ROCK WITH A CHAIR OR STONE COLD DOING THE "STONE COLD STUNNER! STONE COLD STUNNER! STONE COLD STUNNER!" ON MR. MCMAHON. IT WAS A SIMPLER TIME.

I'VE SAID TOO MUCH

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT I AM NOT A CHILL PERSON I'VE GOT A HUNDRED THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD ALL THE TIME AND I WORRY ABOUT SHIT THAT DOESN'T MATTER I THINK I HAVE SOME SORT OF OBSESSIVE PROBLEM BUT I DON'T HAVE THE INSURANCE TO SEE A SHRINK CHEAP WEED IS THE WORST THOUGH I CAN HANDLE SOME OF THE GOOD STUFF IF IT'S ONE OF THE STRAINS THAT DOESN'T BOTHER ME

A NO-SELL IN PRO WRESTLING TERMS IS WHEN ONE WRESTLER PERFORMS A MOVE ON ANOTHER AND THE RECEIVING WRESTLER DOESN'T ACT LIKE IT AFFECTED THEM, THEY DON'T SELL IT TO THE CROWD. LIKE SAY THE ROCK DOES THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW ON STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN, BUT STONE COLD DOESN'T BOUNCE OFF THE MAT AND ACT LIKE HE'S HURT. I HAVEN'T WATCHED PRO WRESTLING IN LIKE SIX OR SEVEN YEARS BUT I STILL KNOW SOME OF THIS STUFF.

I JUST DONATED FIVE DOLLARS OF MY HARD EARNED AMERICAN DOLLARY-DOOS FOR THIS DUMP YOU PEOPLE BETTER ENJOY IT OR GO BUY A COUPLE STEEL RESERVES, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

TODAY IS A VERY SPECIAL DAY NOT JUST FOR UEMB BUT FOR ME AS WELL

IT'S 3:11 AM EDT AND THE BOARDS ARE STILL UP

Indica tends to make me really paranoid and I have panic attacks. I've bellyached about that before though so I won't do it here.

I hate shaving so that's why I grow a beard. It's not a great beard but it's mine.

don't look at the deadlights for fucks sake don't look at them what are you doing

Never cared for walnuts. I can get down with some pistachios and cashews even though they're meme nuts nowadays.

I still have my old teddy bear somewhere, I think in my old dresser. I used to practice wrestling moves on him while jumping on my trampoline. He always no-sold my flying elbow drop, though.

quack quack

POP QUIZ Indica or sativa?