Codename: Jackass

When I touch something wet that shouldn't be wet.

Eye injuries, real or in movies. I have to look away when Uma Thurman steps on that chick's eyeball in Kill Bill.

Clothing tags against my skin.

This one time a woman I had never met pulled up next to my car while I was sitting in the convenience store parking lot. She looked at me for a minute and put her window down. I noticed she was drinking a beer. In the car. While driving. She asked me if I was single and wanted me to come with her. That made me pretty uncomfortable, tbh.

People in my personal space, but I think everyone hates that.

The sound of thick-soled shoes or high heels on a hard floor.

when people over-annunciate words.

Excuse me sir. Do you have a minute to talk about Jesus?

The feeling of paper against my skin. Small squeaking or rattling sounds where I can't find the source. Being touched without consent. The sound of people chewing food.

When other people embarrass themselves. I rarely get pleasure out of "cringy" stuff.

Stone Ghost Hammer IPA

I put on my robe and wizard hat

ur hawt wanna cyber?

;)

oh yeah bby :*

I came

Will you be my minion if I give you my banana?

Solomon just wanted his son and family back. The diamond was just a bonus.

He bled out and died in the third act.

I-it's not like I like you or anything, baka Winston!

Make sure you look for this garbage on r/writingprompts.

You roll out of bed and stumble into the bathroom to get a drink of water, heart pounding out of your chest. You flip on the light and realize as you stare into the mirror that you have become Robert Englund. The calendar over your shoulder reads June 1984. WHAT DO YOU DO NEXT?

Step aside, plebs.

Ol' Leo DiCaprio shed a lot of blood for that diamond.