Codename: Jackass

Waa waa waa waa waa waa waa waa disappointed

Your team's pretty good.

UPDATE The little fucker flew RIGHT AT ME as I was sitting, contemplating my predicament. It must have discerned my intentions from the aether. It is now somewhere under my recliner, no doubt plotting its next move. Mark my words. I will not forget this insult. Vengeance shall be mine.

Then I could reach up to my ceiling and crush the grotesque flying waterbug that has infiltrated my home. Should I burn the house?

One ugly motherfucker.

"Smoke" All you had to do was follow the damn train, CJ.

TASTE LIKE CRAB, TALK LIKE PEOPLE.

So what you're telling me is that I need to book the next flight to Beijing, right?

They all have to have names starting with the same letter, too. That's one of the rules.

You'll be a changed man.

Elle had like twelve kids last I checked.

Too late, it's already over.

>tfw the forecast for the next week is sunshine with highs in the upper 90s let me die

AND BREAK OUR HEAAAAAAAAAARTS DEATH CANNOT TEAR US APAAAAARRRRRRT

I read a lot of his books growing up and they're schlocky but fun. The Dead Zone is also good.

Welcome to Mondo Burger.

Whatever you do, read Sponges' fanfictions three times each.

Whatever you do, don't read Sponges' fanfictions. TrigunBebop has a fetish for latex balloons. Nabloom has ass worms and lives in squalor. ZeniGundam is a true lone wolf alpha male warrior with a thing for stalking nineteen-year-olds on OKCupid and Tinder. I divulge as little about myself as possible.

RIP

My mom tells me that when I was a small child, I would stand in front of the TV when the weather radar was on intently watching the radar loop go, and that if one of those red tornado watch boxes popped up I'd go running to my bedroom to hide. The tornado siren tests that we have once a month petrified me until I got to be about twelve.

We had a wild lightning storm here last week, I haven't seen lightning that intense in a long time. It was constant. Lightning hit the ground all over the place. I went outside to clean before the rain came but lightning struck the ground twice fairly close by and I just said fuck it and waited. I wish I'd gotten video, it was sweet.

I hope it will be okay in time.

MADNESS CHAOS IN THE BRAIN MAKE MY BLOOD FLOW LET MY BLOOD FLOW THROUGH YOU MANE AIN'T GOT NO BUSINESS QUESTIONIN' A THANG YOU'RE FIT TO LEARN THE PROPER MEANIN' OF A BEATDOWN

I think it was Kel.