[classic swim]

I’m a satirist!

They caught her hooha at the Wal-Mart!

Crapshot loved that.

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN

Good luck and safe shopping.

^ Imagine this dude crouched down at a Wal-Mart aisle picking up a lil tin can of hazelnut. You run up to put your butt in his face and go “oh yeah! You a BIG ASS BITCH!” Then you knee or kick him in the face and try to successfully run away. It’ll be viral online, so his baby mama leaves him. His own set will call him a pussy bitch and shoot him in the leg probably.

Teasing animals at the zoo is funny.

Well I get saying it on the interwebs but I thought TV always used “suicide” as the professional way of saying it. But this guy was like “ohh get some help before ya ___ urself!”

It’s this thread’s fault!

There’s this drug help hotline infomercial I’ve seen recently where the narrator outright says you might “k_ll yourself!” and it is funny how TV standards now operate on much less tact. But I like the 50s framing on this so:

Felt like I should’ve had Fan or VIP awhile ago but maybe it’s the IB + secluded postings.

*gurgle gurgle gurgle suck suck*

You barf on kids asses for fun.

Lick your mother’s 7 day unwashed twat.

Shut the fuck up.

Cunts don’t really make up my OST. Something for the stupid fuck taking the sloppy seconds.

I just hate stores where the quarter bullshit is involved, even though you do get your quarter back. Some are even courteous there and just give you the cart that they’re done with before you go inside.

I’ve watched it both liquor’d up and sober and still put it in my top five. Some made it known they were getting hammered while producing shows. Even then, I don’t put it past anyone to just make fucked up shit for the sake of it. The Venture guys also hated people calling their stuff “insane.” I guess part of what made the stoner shit so annoying was people not used to having non boring comedy on late-night TV.

When “stoner” was the prevalent phrase used for [as] stuff, I always tore that to shreds because it was never once funny or clever to say. But I’m starting to think the use of the word “cynical” these days is also incredibly stupid and irritable. Fanboys just need buzzwords and labels to cling to or else they die.