jackiemarie90

Well thank you. My skin hasn't been it's best scaring wise lately, but I'll take that compliment. I was excited to meet other people in this older student house. And I was talking to student who felt self conscious about being old. I told him I was probably older than him, and then I found out he was older by 4 years, to which he replied, "It's ok I think you do look older than me too". I was like daayyyyuummm lol But have you thought about trying to train yourself to sleep on your back? I feel like it would be harder than older we are, because falling asleep as children came naturally. lol

To cause chaos in our country?

I've trained myself to sleep on my back in high school when I heard how good it is supposed to be not only for your back, but your digestion system too and mine's is pretty bad. But it scares guys that want to cuddle with me cause I rather sleep on my back then spoon. >__>

Congrats wagz!

Try raisin

I'm taking two stem classes and one history class! Help me stay focused!! @__@ History looks interesting, it's Commodities Histories, from Sugar to Cocaine, and it's in a seminar class specifically for history majors. And the readings look interesting. Honestly the history classes here are amazing. I just get sad I can't dedicate my full time to them since a history degree can't go to far. As for the classes I'm taking for my minor, Statistics 88 and Data Structures with Java. 😐 Everyone is telling me how hard these classes are so far, and the 3 classes I've taken here in stem I've pretty much got a C+ in all of them. I hate that I have to take a lot of them at once since as a social science major I don't have a lot of the math prerequisites down. It can be fun, but since my time is limited here as a transfer, I have to take at least 3 classes a semester. For someone in DSP like me, 2 is more comfortable. But I want to take advantage of every opportunity that is presented to me here. Anyways, the pressure of shit around me is making it hard to focus. I am seeing a psychiatrist for the 1st time in awhile tomorrow, and I'm hoping they can provide the medication I need to tackle this stressful semester. I might be treating this place like a blog post, but I've been having insomnia for awhile now, and feel myself going a little crazy, and just want something to stable to do to help me get through this. lol

I mean he does seem unstable, so I am just trying to stay away from him for awhile probably be best.

Ok like seriously, I tried to fake cry for him during our argument, but I couldn't, and after he left, I was fucking laughing so hard telling everyone in my old house what happened. 😂 Also the main points I took from that experience is, 1: I ruin men's lives and 2.: I am his tormentor I was thinking like, gee, he really thinks all that? Then that shit was going to my head, like low key I want to put on my instagram bio: "Jackie, ruiner of men, tormentor of souls" 🤣

You're right, it's time to focus on that 3.0 GPA and seeing my grandma more. 😊

Ok honestly, I think it's more than the party, I think he is afraid that people will view him as a racist. And he lives in fear of being viewed as a racist, even though he constantly consumes racist media. I really need to stay away tho.

We don't want to make him right though. XD I love proving this dude wrong. lmao

I think it's more from staying in his room, watching podcasts all day and vaping and not eating. To be honest I've lost a lot of weight myself, but it's never considered a bad thing when it happens to a girl....

I don't, he is on my mind, I can't deny that, thats why I'm looking forward to school, to get him out of it. lol

She's all of our friend. But she was also his roommate for the spring and summer semester, but she moved further away from Berkeley, and he was forced to find student housing. But she used to pander to him to calm him down, so he will more likely listen to her. Honestly, I think the dude hates me because I never put up with his bullshit. Because I'm not afraid of him, and I am as you say mentally stronger and I also analyze people pretty well. I can see so easily right through him, and I think that terrifies him.

He currently doesn't have a firearm, what worries me the most, is that he is an addict. He went to prison for selling drugs. He still has access to these drugs. When he drinks hard liquor he starts swinging and yelling. I really am scared for his own benefit, he has so many unhealthy qualities, and I don't want to see him hurt. Just space between us is best for now.

Well luckily this house I'm currently staying out has a lot more men than women here. >__> So I feel safe living in student housing. He might develop a grudge, it's so easy for him to blame others for the problems in his life. Really I caught most of his ire since he came to Cal. I was his mental punching bag, he would always call me stupid when I tried to debate him, that's why it's so clear it isn't about politics, and just him wanting to rage at something. But our mutual friend may be the key to getting him to calm the fuck down. At least I hope.

I do have 2 bottles of pepper spray with me. If it came to a physical fight again, I think quarantine has really weakened him, he looks like a skeleton and I'm pretty sure I could take him right now if I wanted to. But I really don't want to fight this guy. I just see an equally sad person like myself, but I know he doesn't care the same way I do. It's not his fault per se, he really is just fucked up. I think the best is for me to avoid him and focus on my studies and also do 7am yoga at the house and get to know everyone else. lol

He 100 percent is unhinged. He really is unstable. But me reporting something would fuck him up because he already has a record. I would literally be making his life worse. But right now he considers me his literal tormentor, since I ruined his life. So he is purposely staying away. Which I think is ridiculous, and low key hilarious. (like these men make me seem more powerful than actually am. lol) Right now I am the villain in his story, cause he is that warped.

If you truly believe that, then you should hate this guy, and not defend him. He is more violent than I've been telling.

Yeah, no one is gonna come to the bay to beat up this guy. Honestly, if anything it shows how his shit behavior is the actual thing that gets him in trouble. All this unhealthy fear is what pushes him further into this mentality that makes him an asshole.

Only 1 time, then he was extreme asshole after he realized I wouldn't sleep with him.

Please, pursue him.

I think most people do, my mental fortitude was build out of necessity. But I think prison really stopped him from growing up, which is sad. It's honestly his mistake, he is an idiot, not academically per se, but not realizing that I'm actually a really good friend to have at Cal cause I carried him through 1 class, helped him get a 5000 scholarship, and girls like me a lot so if he was any kind of smart, he could also use me for dating advice, I just liked smoking and watching dumb movies with someone. I have no sexual desires cause of my depression but he is just a big fucking idiot pushing people away.

Edit: *sigh* I mean he treats others this way, but I guess it's wrong to want to incite violence. 😐

Our mutual friend did recommend a therapist for him, god I hope he goes.