Virtual Satyr

There's a post on FB announcing Hugh Laurie has been cast as Dumbledore. The post then goes on to explain this is for a new batch of audiobooks they are releasing alongside the HBO reboot. I went to the comments and, of course, I found people saying they can't wait to see House playing Dumbledore or being confused since John Lithgow was already cast. There would be so much less confusion in this world if people learned how to fucking read.

Someone in Seinfrld group I'm in on FB suggested I change my name to O.J.

Had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my back pain medicine. Gave the pharmacist my name and heard an audible gasp from the person behind me. You see, I share the same name with a man who was recently found guilty of murdering 2 girls in a town near mine. This kind of encounter has happened several times. I think it's hilarious.

The best toppings for a pizza.

I am a Golden God Emperor of Dune!

Stopped Weird Al from making a parody of "Pumped Up Kicks" called "Plump Dumb Chicks."

Tuna Noodle Casserole!

At Walmart I: Do my own checkout and bagging. Have helped numerous people get stuff of the top shelves. Have more than once helped somebody make a decision on what to buy. Have been compelled by my mild OCD to put misplaced items back to their right spot. I really do deserve an employee discount there.

Slow dances to speed metal.

Has a YouTube Playlist titled "ASMR." It has nothing but car crash videos.

I've been walking a bunch and going to the gym too. I've also really cut back on fast food. I'm still a cynical, pessimistic, judgy person, but I've gotten better at hiding it when it helps me.

Goes shopping and tightens every lid on the pickle jars. Doesn’t even buy pickles.

Indulges in the Ultimate Fast Food Meal every Friday night by going to Wendy's for a Dave's Double, McDonald's for the fries, Taco Bell for a Baja Blast, and finally to Dairy Queen for a Blizzard, a different flavor every time "just to mix things up."

Buys movie tickets, popcorn, drinks, and Skittles, only to go in the theater to make a huge freaking mess for some poor Joe to clean up.

When the 20 something year old cute skinny blonde is following you around the gym, you shouldn't think the universe is testing you. It's rewarding you.

Helen Keller. That whole deal is a bunch of BS.

She's my cat. And I don't know if she's a flerkin or not, but she is definitely something more than a regular cat.

Is the emu trainer for the Liberty Mutual Insurance commercials.

Eats avocado ice cream on French toast.

If you're using more than one card at the ATM and you have people in line behind you, you should use one card, then move to the back of the line.