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When you finally get home from a trip


molarbear

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I hate when people stand outside the restroom to have a full on conversation. I always imagine they can hear me pee or they'll assume I'm pooping when I'm really just waiting for them to leave.  I hate having to make eye contact leaving the bathroom. 

 

Oh hey, how's it going

- good ... just pooping

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5 hours ago, Vamped said:

I hate when people stand outside the restroom to have a full on conversation. I always imagine they can hear me pee or they'll assume I'm pooping when I'm really just waiting for them to leave.  I hate having to make eye contact leaving the bathroom. 

 

Oh hey, how's it going

- good ... just pooping

That's almost as bad as the person a urinal over attempting to start small talk

Which is even worse if there are other open urinals and for some reason they felt the need to stand next to you

 

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2 hours ago, molarbear said:

That's almost as bad as the person a urinal over attempting to start small talk

Which is even worse if there are other open urinals and for some reason they felt the need to stand next to you

 

Can't relate. XD

We just get peeped at through the space in the door 

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4 hours ago, Vamped said:

Can't relate. XD

We just get peeped at through the space in the door 

Stall Blinders!

Much like those little sun blockers that fold down and block the sun for babies in the back seat, you hang these from the door of a stall and it blocks the cracks!

957082252_dogpoopreactionbad.thumb.jpg.f9a749844d889b2b097ca25bd6e3b8b0.jpg

 

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22 hours ago, Vamped said:

I hate when people stand outside the restroom to have a full on conversation. I always imagine they can hear me pee or they'll assume I'm pooping when I'm really just waiting for them to leave.  I hate having to make eye contact leaving the bathroom. 

 

Oh hey, how's it going

- good ... just pooping

Back when I was a real shy pooper (I'm not anymore) I had diarrhea at college, I went to a bathroom on like the third floor figuring least chance of anybody in there. I walk in there, looks empty then as soon as I close the door to the stall a couple dudes walk in, and they are having a conversation. A full blown conversation, not small talk. They had no intention of moving this long conversation anywhere but that bathroom. Driving me fucking nuts trying to hold in my diarrhea until they left, I eventually realized They ain't even leaving if the fucking fire alarm is pulled, so I just let loose. They left promptly.

Dumb pieces of fucking shit. Why would you choose a mother fucking bathroom as your hangout spot? Fuck you.

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3 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Back when I was a real shy pooper (I'm not anymore) I had diarrhea at college, I went to a bathroom on like the third floor figuring least chance of anybody in there. I walk in there, looks empty then as soon as I close the door to the stall a couple dudes walk in, and they are having a conversation. A full blown conversation, not small talk. They had no intention of moving this long conversation anywhere but that bathroom. Driving me fucking nuts trying to hold in my diarrhea until they left, I eventually realized They ain't even leaving if the fucking fire alarm is pulled, so I just let loose. They left promptly.

Dumb pieces of fucking shit. Why would you choose a mother fucking bathroom as your hangout spot? Fuck you.

I was gonna say ... if you have a bad enough poop they'll just leave XD

 

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7 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Back when I was a real shy pooper (I'm not anymore) I had diarrhea at college, I went to a bathroom on like the third floor figuring least chance of anybody in there. I walk in there, looks empty then as soon as I close the door to the stall a couple dudes walk in, and they are having a conversation. A full blown conversation, not small talk. They had no intention of moving this long conversation anywhere but that bathroom. Driving me fucking nuts trying to hold in my diarrhea until they left, I eventually realized They ain't even leaving if the fucking fire alarm is pulled, so I just let loose. They left promptly.

Dumb pieces of fucking shit. Why would you choose a mother fucking bathroom as your hangout spot? Fuck you.

Bonus points if you groaned.

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On 11/30/2021 at 8:57 AM, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Back when I was a real shy pooper (I'm not anymore) I had diarrhea at college, I went to a bathroom on like the third floor figuring least chance of anybody in there. I walk in there, looks empty then as soon as I close the door to the stall a couple dudes walk in, and they are having a conversation. A full blown conversation, not small talk. They had no intention of moving this long conversation anywhere but that bathroom. Driving me fucking nuts trying to hold in my diarrhea until they left, I eventually realized They ain't even leaving if the fucking fire alarm is pulled, so I just let loose. They left promptly.

Dumb pieces of fucking shit. Why would you choose a mother fucking bathroom as your hangout spot? Fuck you.

This reminds me of the time I almost got sold drugs at a strip club

I thought I was waiting in line to use the bathroom because when I opened the door there was a group of peeps just standing there, turns out it was not a line to pee

When I started laughing at the mistake a dude from the stall yelled "STFU I'm trying to shit here"

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55 minutes ago, molarbear said:

This reminds me of the time I almost got sold drugs at a strip club

I thought I was waiting in line to use the bathroom because when I opened the door there was a group of peeps just standing there, turns out it was not a line to pee

When I started laughing at the mistake a dude from the stall yelled "STFU I'm trying to shit here"

And THAT reminds ME of something ELSE that happened to me that is similar...

I was at a metal concert at a bar in the middle of nowhere. All I was concerned with seeing was the headliner. I believe when I arrived the third to last band was playing (either that or second to last). It was a long drive and I wanted to make sure I didn't have to suddenly take a shit while the headliner was playing, so I headed to the bathroom to do my best to get something out so hopefully the urge wouldn't hit when I really wanted to pay attention to the concert. 

Well, it was in there, but deep in there. Like I could tell I would have to go in a bit, but right now it wasn't quite ready. But I was determined to force it out. While I was shitting, a dude at a urinal and another dude were talking to each other, and when I finally got out of the stall, the dude not peeing gave me a hard time like, "Got any cocaine?" "You were in there a long time you can't tell me you weren't doing coke in there." Weirded me out but I was trying to play it off as haha that's a good joke dude. But it made me uncomfortable, I found it insulting, and thought that dude was really weird and creepy for those comments. But the guy at the urinal hears me running the sink and getting the paper towels to dry my hands and he goes "he's using the towels! Guys doing cocaine don't wash their hands!" And then the creepy guy was like, yeah ok, but damn you were in there a long time.

Then later.... I had to take a piss so I went to the urinal (after the concert) and while I was pissing, I heard from the stall, a huge SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFF...... AHHHHHHH....... Then the dude (whatever dude it was, my back was turned since I was peeing) left without either flushing the toilet or washing his hands. And then I was like, :"Hmm.... maybe that weird guy had a point...."

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