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UnevenEdge

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Posted

My great uncle taught me how a silly sense of humor makes a good relationship last.

My grandfather taught me how to drink hard.

My grandmother taught me how to avoid religion by forcing it on the family.

Posted (edited)

Grandpa- You're worthless as tits on a boar pig.

Grandma- As we age, we slip further into madness; a burden unto others until we die.

Grandpa- No matter what horrible things you do in your life, if you have enough money to travel out west, start a horse ranch, and become a Jehovah's Witness, everything you do will work out.

Grandma- You will be stuck in the world of manual labor all your life; it will destroy you body and leave you with nothing but the barest means of survival. 

Edited by SwimModSponges
Posted

My maternal grandparents no speak English. They sound like anime characters. I learned from them that most people respect you more if you speak like an anime character.

Paternal grandparent: Don't overeat and become 400 lbs and have a decades-long history of smoking 2 packs a day. You'll barely get to collect 3 years of social security.

Paternal grandmother: If you're an awful person and don't feel like actually putting an effort into reconciling with others, fill that nasty void of yours with Jesus. Let Jesus fuck you.

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