StExquisite

Incels of a feather tend to stick together. ... Oh Zeni. Even after 15 years of constant torment and abuse, you've still kept your pitiful, enervating brand strong. But now.. I regret to inform you that it's even stronger than it was before. You've become a veritable Youtube celebrity. All the disrespect luv xoxo

Hello there pilgrims, I am broadcasting to you live inside a glass jar that's located at the confluence of Simpatico and a Aquamarine chrysalis globe that's been drowned in reverberated sound. Have you lit the cinnamon apple candles, the cloudberry incense, the molotov moonshine inside a tea kettle that's traipsing through a tempest, the pile of newspaper clippings from 2002 that you've collected in a meadow that exists within a hypercane? You honor my precarious existence with your mundane insistence on writing that Xanga blog from a decade back about the Seven Weeks War and Oscar Wilde's dreams about trench foot and the pleasure that came from the subsequent amputation that was first given digital sentience in a kratom-fueled daze. Stand now at the altar burnished in vertigo and intricately-carved jade Bodhisattvas that cannot be melted down and exists in a temporal fusion that stretches across several dimensions and idiosyncratic wavelengths. You take a long and almost interminable gaze at the orderly, the meaningless, and the chaotic that's been cloaked in grey matter semiotics, vestiges of your own brain in a 3D printed hologram, a holotype of an octopus trapped in a jar and was marked by the imagery of a looping parallelogram that's devouring its own karmic energy like an astral serpent. Without making a sound, a Gregorian chant bursts forth from your awed form, the antediluvian hymnal to the Octopus that's trapped in a glass jar. You think me a Houdini, that I can make the great escape with a flick of my opalescent tentacles that jut forth madly like cracks that form on a windshield. But no, I will not. To escape the glass jar would serve me no purpose, would give your cult minimal meaning. And so I end this broadcast with a staccato burst of love that glistens like purple diamonds on Mercury's invisible shores, and a warning to remember your vows of eating Zebra Cakes after you've soaked your flesh in the bathwater of your temple complex that you call a home. Godspeed and good night.

Lol. If I recall, you came over three times in total. The first time you came over was probably a few months before (or after?) '09 NYE, and I made you some orange-flavored cocktail. I ended up passing out quick on the couch after one bowl, because weed and booze never mixed well with me. The second time was NYE and I still feel horrible that we couldn't find your elephant pipe until months later. I think I found it eventually on the entertainment center near the Wii, it was really hiding in plain sight all that time. Sorry, man. And I do recall, the pipe was slightly broken at the time we were smoking it because we were having to plug the crack in when the fires were lit so we could get that smoke in our lungs. Or maybe I got it all wrong, lol. Who knows honestly. That time tended to be a huge blur for me. And finally the last time you came over was like.. four years later probably? And yes that's when you came over with the Dreamcast, got drunk, and I got blitzed on OPs. I recently found my old Photobucket and found that infamous photo that I took of you passed out on the couch was still there and I remember I immediately posted it in Babbling lol. It says I uploaded it on December of '14, but I'm not 100% sure that's right or not. Anyways, I think this was right before you left Omaha for California. Crazy how things change. A lot has really happened the past 6 or so years. And in other news, my cocktail-making days are pretty much over thanks to a recent Diabeetus diagnosis. I mostly drink wine and cider nowadays, but I stay away from the sweet shit for the most part. And getting the Beetus kinda made me kinda nostalgic for SockatOr and it made me wonder how she's been doing. I tried searching for her on the boards and Facebook to see if she was still around but no dice! Oh well. Lol also, I did some vanity searching of my own, there wasn't much but according to RaptorPat I'm some unofficial ASMB historian like plz. I also found out that Gaius had put me and some other Babblers in his anonymous blog in regards to the dissolution of ASMB in '16 and I was that "gay dude." What's even more hilarious is that he could've chosen to stay anonymous about it, but eventually outed himself on NaBraniel's thread coupled with his usual pomposity bluster and bravado. Some things never change, I guess lmao. I've missed you guys a whole bunch. It's good to be back.

Oh, Musket. I’m just reminded of something. Like a searing thunderbolt this flashback hit me.. it was New Years Eve 09/10 and you zoomed through over 90 miles of interstate road to my house for some hedonistic revelry. Which included smoking coke rocks on top of weed in your partially broken elephant-shaped pipe. We got so so messed up that night. Wild times, indeed.

Perish the thought! The only tattoo I’m getting is the bloodied scars that were inflicted by penitent self-flaeggelation.

*motions Inquisition towards Sawdy* THIS MAN RIGHT HERE, MONSIGNOR!!!

You got that St. Anthony’s Fire, bro? I’m jealous. I take it this harvest’s rye bread was most especially befouled, besotted with otherworldly ergotamine goodness. The Lord giveth many blessings, my man. Cheers.

You go sword fighting, I’ll go tempt a Vicar with a good time. Either way, there will be things to pillage.

Please Lord, I only live to serve. Please take my potatoes. Wait, hold on. Those buboes? Oh, you mean my beauty marks? Remember your vows, Lord. Go be a seigneur and joust elsewhere.

Ha, we barely had any snow in my area last winter. Probably the lowest on record. A lot of the snowstorms that you saw tended to stay north of us. The climate is basically a Ford Pinto at this point. Hope you’re doing well, man.

Oh, you know.. teetering on the brink of complete societal and environmental collapse. A government that chooses to play the fiddle while Rome burns. Some days, you just have to laugh cuz the tears won’t fall anymore. Millions are evicted, death becomes destroyer of worlds, Idiocracy and Black Mirror join hands like the Wonder Twins and become one, and sports have become our Xanax. Good times. Anyways.. something, something, we roleplayed things.

Lmao PLZ. I haven’t gone to a bathhouse in MY LIFE. Old Timey Babblers know that my forever favorite band is of Montreal. And yes, the song is hella sexy NSFW. But yes, I’ll forever be Poet. A JadedPoet.

Bonjour, Sawdy. Long time, no see.

Yo.