Codename: Jackass

Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon.

I mean that sudden rush of adrenaline feeling.

Any time I get woken up by someone playing their stereo I panic because dad would listen to loud music while he was drinking.

Sounds like anger. Maybe some sort of PTSD thing, not sure. I lose my temper sometimes and break shit.

I was certain I was going to die the first time it happened.

Imagine being really really scared and needing to get away from everything but you can't and wanting to jump out of your skin plus thinking you're going to have a heart attack because it's beating so hard.

I do that sometimes but I'm on the spectrum, so...

Lake Erie is a significant shipping, fishing, recreation and fresh water source and needs to be protected.

Sounds like an anxiety issue. Do you ever have panic attacks?

Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Oh yes, I forgot about the dogs that get out of their yard and chase people. One killed my neighbor's cat.

Austin is good but it's rapidly filling with Californians and the housing market is skyrocketing.

I had a methhead neighbor before I moved.

No

My quest of filling the entire front page with spam has been stymied one too many times.

RIPIP

Bingo.

I give the orders around here, booty boy.

That kind of shit won't happen in the future.

Automation will drive a lot of people into homelessness and suicide, I predict. In the year 2070, most of the world's major cities will have been converted into massive pleasure domes used exclusively by the Excelsiites, the neo-upper class; meanwhile, the lower class Depth Grovelers will toil endlessly underground, mining nuggets of Neoplasmin for their Excelsiite overlords.

Get rid of them right now. Hop to it.

Shredded and eats melon at work? Definitely got bullied in school.

He probably got shoved around and was the butt of mean jokes in middle school, so he "knows" how the bully's mind works. Please report on whether or not he is fat.