customer service

[Still Me]

Customer service stories, 

either you have one or you've been one...me first

 

Customer calls:  Hello, sorry this is weird, but I've been having some issues with my phone. Can you tell me if it shows my phone number on your caller ID? I set it up to be private, but it hasn't been working.

Me: *looks* Yeah, it shows private...how can I help you?

C: I'm looking for a product that you carry inside the store, and I know you're the pharmacy, but I didn't feel comfortable asking someone at the front for it.

M: *not an uncommon occurrence for people who may be dealing with an embarrassing issue* Thats ok, what are you looking for?

C: Are all conversations private? Like, held in confidence? 

M: Yes sir, they are. We are still healthcare, and we maintain strict privacy and professionalism. What product were you looking for?

C: I'm looking for magnum condoms in the extra large size. Do you know if you have that in stock?  Do you know what I mean?

M: Yes sir, I know what you are explaining, I can check the floor to see if we have that give me just a moment.

**goes to check stock, makes note of prices just in case that's the follow up question**

M: Sir?

C: Yes?

M: From what I can tell, we only carry the magnum larges. We don't have the extra larges, sorry.

C: I don't think that will do. Do you happen to know how large they are?

M: No sir I don't, I can try to google that information for you.

C: Yeah, that would be great, cause they have to be a certain size. They have to be like 9x4. You understand what I mean by that? 9x4?.....9x4?

M: *the fuck dude?* Yes sir, I am aware. Google says the larges only go to 8.5

C: Thats not gonna work *chuckle* I mean that's not close

M: Yeah, sorry sir. You may have to check Walmart or Amaz....

C: Yeah I bet you don't fuck anything under 5 inches do you?

M: *brain flatline* ...Excuse me?

C: *hangs up*

 

One of the many stories I have that will always make me glad I left that fucking place

 

Edited June 7 by Still Me

[UwPp]

I get yelled at by patients every day because it's June and they can't be seen until December/January and they might die before then. 

...

 

I hate being on phones. 

[mthor]

The Viagra calls, the Cialis calls, starting Fridays, right after lunch. Usually, they were looking for samples, and although there was sometimes a bit of salt, most were polite if we couldn't accommodate them. One, however, called looking for an actual prescription. How refreshing! I get his name and birthdate to pull him up on the computer so that I can send a request to his provider. Lo and behold! He's nowhere to be found. I ask which provider he usually sees, and he tells me that he used to see Dr. X, who retired a few months ago. Dr X gave him Viagra for years, he says, but he's out, and doesn't have any refills.

I'm sorry, I tell him. The providers can't just write a prescription for a patient they've never seen before and for whom they have no records (dude is in his 70's. Viagra is probably not the only thing he needs a script for.)  If you'd like to establish with one of them, we have an NP and a physician who are currently taking new patients. I can set you up with an appointment.

He hems and haws, but finally agrees. Bear in mind, this is a Friday afternoon, probably around 2 - 2:30. The office closes at 5. I check the computer, and find an available appointment on the following Thursday. (He's actually pretty lucky, because a new patient visit requires a longer block of time, and it can sometimes be a wait of a few weeks or a month before we can book one.) I offer him the appointment and he goes through the roof. "I can't get one today? This is an emergency!" There follows a five minute (I timed him) diatribe about the state of health care in America, especially as it relates to his personal life and convenience, my rudeness and stupidity because I won't comply with his request and give him a prescription (sorry, sir, I have the wrong initials after my name) or badger one of the providers into doing it (sorry, sir, they need to see you first), and how we're all just about money. Then he ends with "There's going to be a lot of disappointed ladies out there because of you! I hope you're happy!"

 I still don't know if he had delusions of grandeur, or if he was the guy who was responsible for the chlamydia outbreak at the retirement village.

[Still Me]

56 minutes ago, UwPp said:

I get yelled at by patients every day because it's June and they can't be seen until December/January and they might die before then. 

...

 

I hate being on phones. 

sometimes it can be so rewarding. but 90% of the time its total trash lol

[Still Me]

43 minutes ago, mthor said:

The Viagra calls, the Cialis calls, starting Fridays, right after lunch. Usually, they were looking for samples, and although there was sometimes a bit of salt, most were polite if we couldn't accommodate them. One, however, called looking for an actual prescription. How refreshing! I get his name and birthdate to pull him up on the computer so that I can send a request to his provider. Lo and behold! He's nowhere to be found. I ask which provider he usually sees, and he tells me that he used to see Dr. X, who retired a few months ago. Dr X gave him Viagra for years, he says, but he's out, and doesn't have any refills.

I'm sorry, I tell him. The providers can't just write a prescription for a patient they've never seen before and for whom they have no records (dude is in his 70's. Viagra is probably not the only thing he needs a script for.)  If you'd like to establish with one of them, we have an NP and a physician who are currently taking new patients. I can set you up with an appointment.

He hems and haws, but finally agrees. Bear in mind, this is a Friday afternoon, probably around 2 - 2:30. The office closes at 5. I check the computer, and find an available appointment on the following Thursday. (He's actually pretty lucky, because a new patient visit requires a longer block of time, and it can sometimes be a wait of a few weeks or a month before we can book one.) I offer him the appointment and he goes through the roof. "I can't get one today? This is an emergency!" There follows a five minute (I timed him) diatribe about the state of health care in America, especially as it relates to his personal life and convenience, my rudeness and stupidity because I won't comply with his request and give him a prescription (sorry, sir, I have the wrong initials after my name) or badger one of the providers into doing it (sorry, sir, they need to see you first), and how we're all just about money. Then he ends with "There's going to be a lot of disappointed ladies out there because of you! I hope you're happy!"

 I still don't know if he had delusions of grandeur, or if he was the guy who was responsible for the chlamydia outbreak at the retirement village.

oh god I love the Viagra/Cialis people. I mean there were times I did see legitimate need for the script. But its the low mg and its daily because of prostate issues....but those who need it just to screw their mistress in Las Vegas for the weekend are unconsolable babies...

'my script for 30 is how much? $600? why the hell is it that expensive?'

well cause its not medically necessary sir....

'well how much is like....3? $75? ok ill take the 3...'

[UwPp]

I love the viagra calls, especially working in cardiology. Like sir, I'll ask, but wearing a life vest seems a bit sketchy. 

[txanimeluva]

When I was a pharm tech it was always we wanted to kill people cuz we couldn’t hand out meds with out a script

Other retail we are hiding stuff in the back just from them and staying we don’t have it 

ot its our fault the shipment was late/didn’t arrive 

[katt_goddess]

Almost every day I get someone who either thinks we are hiding all the stuff they need in the back somewhere [ our back is currently rapidly filling up with christmas shit so nice try ] or insisting that I must know exactly what they need for their personal project as well as how to make it and why can't I make it for them???? Street fair and craft show seasons are the worst because the place fills up with idiots who went to those things, saw something they are totally sure they could make for less and then proceed to show up at the store to demand I pull all their project shit together like I've done nothing but cruise those same street fairs and craft shows all day. I'm at an 8-10 hour shift, I don't have the free time to research your project. If you can't be bothered to research your new hobby first you should have just bought the whatever that caught your eye in the first place. 

[Still Me]

5 hours ago, katt_goddess said:

Almost every day I get someone who either thinks we are hiding all the stuff they need in the back somewhere [ our back is currently rapidly filling up with christmas shit so nice try ] or insisting that I must know exactly what they need for their personal project as well as how to make it and why can't I make it for them???? Street fair and craft show seasons are the worst because the place fills up with idiots who went to those things, saw something they are totally sure they could make for less and then proceed to show up at the store to demand I pull all their project shit together like I've done nothing but cruise those same street fairs and craft shows all day. I'm at an 8-10 hour shift, I don't have the free time to research your project. If you can't be bothered to research your new hobby first you should have just bought the whatever that caught your eye in the first place. 

oh god do you work in a hobby store? I can't imagine the asshatery ....

 

you know, that I will miss....I used to hide shit all the time. I'd wait for it to clearance then buy it lol.

[katt_goddess]

20 hours ago, Still Me said:

oh god do you work in a hobby store? I can't imagine the asshatery ....

 

you know, that I will miss....I used to hide shit all the time. I'd wait for it to clearance then buy it lol.

Oh yeah, its an arts and crafts store.

I'll get some lump ooze in looking for help and they'll show some tator-fone pic of the street craft in question and want to know if I can get all the stuff they need to make it.

'What exactly is that blurry glare?'

'It's a 3D miniature of the entire Milky Way created from filigree'd silver horse hair wire and handblown seed beads carefully polished with yak hide on imported French hooks. I need all that stuff for a pair of earrings and also I need you to make them for me and I only have $10 and a linty mint to pay for it all so don't screw with me on the price.' 

I don't hide things but I do keep a general eye out for things with horrible flaws/spelling errors that managed to make it past quality control to try to buy one before I either have to make a quality report on it myself or a recall comes through. Bad idea products are always the best. I have a little ceramic ghost around here somewhere playing with his nipple for crying out loud.