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Someone shut up and take my money to make this

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Seen on the cargo deck of USS Enterprise 1701-D….

Riker:  Look, Ikari, these away missions are what you trained for at the academy.

Shinji:  I don’t know, sir.  We didn’t really talk about what happened after we landed.

Riker:  There’s no book for away missions.  All those skills you learned are for these missions.  You’re out there.  Your senses are heightened.  You can feel your pulse quicken.  It’s time to stop thinking and becoming one with your…. Phaser.

Asuka:  Great.

Data:  There have been no reported readings of life signs on the surface in several cycles.

Asuka:  At least no one will see Shinji crying this time.

Barclay:  It’s okay Ensign, I see you.

Geordi: What…?

Shinji:  This isn’t helping.

Riker:  Where’s your sense of adventure?  You get to set foot on a planet that only a handful of living beings have laid eyes on.

Shinji:  Did they see anything?

Riker:  Sure

Shinji:  I’m not cut out to be a Security officer.

Riker:  You’ll be fine.

Asuka:  No, he won’t.

Geordi:  We’re going to miss the window for shuttle launch if this keeps up.

Riker:  Ensign Ikari, get in the shuttle.

Shinji:  *Whimpers*

Asuka:  Get in the shuttle, you coward.

Shinji:  I don’t wanna….

Riker:  *Slaps Forehead *

A nearby com chirps and a foreboding voice is heard.

Gendo:  I’ll handle this.

Gendo:  Shinji, get in the shuttle.

Gendo: And clean up that pee spot.


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