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Amazon Reviews...


katt_goddess

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Most people are aware of the Haribo sugar-free gummi bear reviews on Amazon [ and if you aren't, is the rock you live under rent controlled? Seriously, look up those reviews ] . Sometimes honesty meets creativity meets the internet and that's how babies are born on Amazon.

Just found a light dash of entertainment to share.

Death Wish Coffee

https://www.amazon.com/Death-Wish-Coffee-Strongest-Certified/product-reviews/B006CQ1ZHI

Judging by the reviews, I could build my own rocket ship to Mars by the second cup and push it to Mars in half an hour by cup #5. :D:D:D 

Here's a chance to share whatever entertaining product reviews you've found on your wish list journey / rabbit hole clicking. Please spoiler the link if it's to something that might not be 100% kosher to wandering feti and warn of the contents, that way no one can claim they 'accidentally' clicked the link to whatever holy hell you found on Amazon. It's their problem because they had to work for that link then. :D 

Discuss!...

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23 hours ago, mthor said:

Death Wish is quite tasty, but it's no more effective than any other coffee. I don't know what those pussies are used to drinking, but I don't think it's real coffee.

Coffee usually helps me sleep. That's how sad it is. The reviews for Death Wish make me feel like I might actually feel a jitter or two from a full press of it. :D If nothing else, the various descriptions of how wired people supposedly got was hilarious when I saw them. 

22 hours ago, bnmjy said:

I'm not spoiler tagging anything. The device has a primary purpose that is completely safe for work.

https://www.amazon.com/Hitachi-Rechargeable-Original-Massager-Certified/dp/B00YFUMFCM

I meant if someone found something labeled 'SPIKED DRAGON DILDO ASS RIPPER 3000 with breath mint dispenser' because that's going to be in the link no matter how hard you try to hide it. :D Because I knew dang well someone was going to find reviews about back massagers but felt that a general thread in FFA would get more varied weird reviews. 

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13 minutes ago, katt_goddess said:

Coffee usually helps me sleep. That's how sad it is. The reviews for Death Wish make me feel like I might actually feel a jitter or two from a full press of it. :D If nothing else, the various descriptions of how wired people supposedly got was hilarious when I saw them. 

I meant if someone found something labeled 'SPIKED DRAGON DILDO ASS RIPPER 3000 with breath mint dispenser' because that's going to be in the link no matter how hard you try to hide it. :D Because I knew dang well someone was going to find reviews about back massagers but felt that a general thread in FFA would get more varied weird reviews. 

The reason Death Wish gives you the jitters is because they recommend 2 1/2 tablespoons of grounds per 6oz of water (as opposed to 1 tablespoon/6 oz ). It's tasty, but it doesn't have more caffeine; you can get the same effect from Maxwell House if you use the same proportions.

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10 minutes ago, mthor said:

The reason Death Wish gives you the jitters is because they recommend 2 1/2 tablespoons of grounds per 6oz of water (as opposed to 1 tablespoon/6 oz ). It's tasty, but it doesn't have more caffeine; you can get the same effect from Maxwell House if you use the same proportions.

I'd really have to look at how much I toss in the press because I think I'm already at 2 1/2 per 6. I also like to mix Folger's with something 'stronger' like Starbucks or whatever the hell that other one was that no longer sells in small bags. I'm serious, coffee brings on nap time. :D It doesn't matter because I'm not buying it from Amazon just to try it, I prefer getting something local so if I like it, I can get more of it without the issues of postage. 

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18 minutes ago, mthor said:

The reason Death Wish gives you the jitters is because they recommend 2 1/2 tablespoons of grounds per 6oz of water (as opposed to 1 tablespoon/6 oz ). It's tasty, but it doesn't have more caffeine; you can get the same effect from Maxwell House if you use the same proportions.

Starbucks uses 2 tablespoons per 6 ounces, and naturally their coffee has twice the amount of caffeine than regular coffee bought anywhere else.

While we're on the topic, dry tea leaves actually have more caffeine than coffee beans. The end product has less caffeine because you only need one teaspoon of leaves for an 8 ounce cup versus one tablespoon of grinds for a 6 ounce cup of coffee.

Edit: misread your post.

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1 minute ago, bnmjy said:

As a former barista, standard is one tablespoon of coffee grinds per 6 ounces, not a teaspoon. One teaspoon is gonna taste very watery. Starbucks uses 2 tablespoons per 6 ounces, and naturally their coffee has twice the amount of caffeine than regular coffee bought anywhere else.

While we're on the topic, dry tea leaves actually have more caffeine than coffee beans. The end product has less caffeine because you only need one teaspoon of leaves for an 8 ounce cup versus one tablespoon of grinds for a 6 ounce cup of coffee.

I said tablespoon. You may be a former barista, but I worked nights for 10 years. I know how to make coffee.

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1 minute ago, mthor said:

I said tablespoon. You may be a former barista, but I worked nights for 10 years. I know how to make coffee.

I know. I saw that at the last moment. Oops, sorry.

I used to work night shifts too, and caffeine did little to nothing. I just developed a nicotine addiction instead, and it didn't help me stay awake at all. 😑

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8 minutes ago, katt_goddess said:

I'd really have to look at how much I toss in the press because I think I'm already at 2 1/2 per 6. I also like to mix Folger's with something 'stronger' like Starbucks or whatever the hell that other one was that no longer sells in small bags. I'm serious, coffee brings on nap time. :D It doesn't matter because I'm not buying it from Amazon just to try it, I prefer getting something local so if I like it, I can get more of it without the issues of postage. 

Yeah, for us, it's local, so available at the grocery store.

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Just now, bnmjy said:

I know. I saw that at the last moment. Oops, sorry.

I used to work night shifts too, and caffeine did little to nothing. I just developed a nicotine addiction instead, and it didn't help me stay awake at all. 😑

Yeah, caffeine worked at first for me, but it got to the point where I was just chugging it to keep the headache away.

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