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UnevenEdge

So I guess I should at least stop by my parents tomorrow.


PhilosipherStoned

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With all things considered... My mother's never really been the best parent I guess. It's kind of sad she was at my house asking for handouts before she found a low level job recently. If I kept a tab she'd probably be owing me $300 easily for crap like cigarettes and gas.. Which the gas I don't even mind as much, but having your mother insistantly pretty much beg you for shit like a pack of cigarettes is the worst feeling idk.. I even paid for my step dad's blood pressure meds one time when she came over asking which wasn't really shit, and I'm not mad about that at all. My life does fucking suck between shit like that going on and..

Maybe making the wroing choices and trying to forge a relationship with that one chick I can see being the fucking same way as a mother that already has kids up for adoption wasn't the greatest idea either..She has more family to back up her poor decisions at least, and good for her. I know I'm just having a momentary failure against the holiday blues battle, but really! How the fuck did I end up this way? I guess it could be because I'm a piece of shit that's never really cared to have anyone around, and I'm used to people needing me anyway WAY longer than just the holidays.. 

but fuck this shit..I'll pull through. I just can't help feeling like the pandemic didn't really change much in the long run, and shit's like this because of MY decisions because it is right? That was rhetorical.. but I would probably be in this same spot or maybe even worse considering I kind of got to take advantage of 'essential jobs' before the initial scare wore off. Just some self reflection. 😷

Edited by PhilosipherStoned
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