GunStarHero Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 In 1613, the British East India Company sent a trade ship called the Clove to Japan in the hopes of opening up trade with the country. While the more famous Williams Adams, whom had already been in Japan for a number of years, even acting as a delegate for the Tokugawa shogunate, made the deal possible, we're here to talk about Captain John Saris. This dude sailed across the sea, into a foreign country, and within the span of a year was able to open up trade with a xenophobic country that had only just united for the first in its history one decade earlier. He fucking did it. Beast moded that shit. He takes his happy ass back to Britain with numerous trinkets in tow, including sets of samurai armor that are still on display to this day. Why haven't you ever heard of this successful motherfucker? Upon his return, and after presenting the royal family with the gifts of the Far East, this legendary, nigh revolutionary motherfucker busts out his hentai collection (shunga) and wheels it around town. That's right. Despite doing his job, and absolutely nailing it in record time, he just could not sequester the urge to whip out those anime tiddies. Rumor has it he even showed it to the Queen. He was stripped of his command, disgraced from the navy, and ended up dying in squalor 30 years later, relatively unknown. His hentai stash was reportedly burned. Probably just the bad ones, though. Gotta save that good shit for later. As an added bonus, Captain Saris, upon arriving in Japan and being greeted by the local governing parties, invited them on board the Clove. However, he decided to take the lovely young ladies in the party down to his cabin. To show them his British porn collection. The women were absolutely disgusted and fled the ship immediately, Saris unable to ascertain why. Why did no one wanna see this juicy titties? This pioneer of porn collecting would never receive his answer. Additionally, he did not mention this to the royal family himself, but word would eventually reach Britain that he had turned down an offer to use a port that lead into Tokyo Bay for his operations, an offer the shogun himself had blessed him with. He instead opted for a port on the tip of Kyushu, worlds away from the Shogun and the capitol. God speed, you crazy hentai-loving bastard. Your tales of debauchery and OG porn collecting have lived on, clearly more important than the short-lived trade agreements between Japan and Britain in the 1600s. I like to think he got one last glance at a tentacle gang bang as he closed his eyes for the last time and faded into titty sprinkled stardust. 4 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stilgar Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 He should be the patron saint of Weebs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GunStarHero Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 23 minutes ago, stilgar said: He should be the patron saint of Weebs. Wholehentai'dly agree. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAC Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Damn, what a guy. Thanks for this info. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GunStarHero Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 1 hour ago, CAC said: Damn, what a guy. Thanks for this info. You are most welcome! I study Japanese history in my spare time and love coming across this kind of story. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mix Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 since the beginning of time there have always been legends that made their mark on history Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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