EmpressAngel

Stretching out the Bellamy fight is the most unforgivable thing this show has ever done and I regularly have to watch them replay my boyfriend being fisted to death. Exorcist- I missed half the episode due to technical difficulties but I don't think I missed much. Something something spider demon. Well hey good news we've got one of them sons of Satan right here. In a surprise twist, Mephisto gets off his ass and does something. Oh fuck ooooooff dude. So can anybody in this place do their jobs? That flame is your quirk not your dad's...oh wait wrong show. Goddammit evil Seitz, again! God I wish that were me. Oh right, now it goes off the rails. One Piece- Robin please snap my spine like a breadstick next. Cabbage has some issues. POV every morning I wake up and debate on going to work or walking into the woods never to be seen again. Oh right, we're stil in the middle of a fight. Who gives a fuck about Rebecca, just save your own ass. You can't beat him he's fueled by the power of unfathomable simp energy. Gee if only he had the ability to put up an indestructable barrier that would prevent someone from being harmed. Don't worry, bad cabbage is only a danger if you eat it. You dropped this, king 👑. Aw dang he's only mostly dead. It's okay Barto the important thing is you tried. And suddenly, Barto's having just as much of a bad day as everybody else. Eat shit, bomb boy. You should probably tie up Cabbage while you have the chance. Previously, like 600 episodes ago, Buggy got hit by lightning. I respect this man's ability to simp this hard. Meanwhile, fuck you Steven Tyler. Give him a break he's only got one leg. God I wish Rebecca didn't suck. Beat his ass, dilf! They're all idiots aren't they. Oh hey, art lady's back. Dellinger's having a rough day. Pantless fight is still the best fight. The tontotta are still so goddamn adorable. SHE'S SOOOOO CUUUUUTE. I need her and Shirahoshi to meet and be best friends. Look if we have to bring one back let's go with Unmedicated Grandpa. Lady you are giving off some strong Ursula vibes. Awww she likes Leo. Noooo don't hurt her she's so precious. I love Tiny Grandpa he cracks me up. Yes, damn. Usopp can only give that little girl PTSD so many times. Whelp, we're boned. Go little dudes, kick 'em while they're down! AWWWWW. Now kiss! Leo you dumb bastard. Jesus fucking christ we're still on Bellamy?

No one asked but I feel like it's important to share that they made Hades a gamer weeb and it's objectively the funniest choice they could have made in this series.

Bartolomeo is the simp in all of us. Exorcist- Uh hey bro you might wanna get that leprosy checked out. Her astrology sign is bitch. Pink-haired guy and Kaminari from MHA would get along well. We're already derailing the show for the rest of the runtime, might as well derail it extra hard with the shittiest filler we can imagine. I vote we take her out to the woods and leave her for dead. I gotta agree, I'd love birthday meat. At least one person here has a grand total of two braincells. I'm glad they're accidentally making her miserable. I forgot the little kitchen gremlin existed. Oh fuck yeah now that's a cake. This is painful to watch. And she still found a way to be a heinous bitch after all. I wonder if the manga ever says what the deal is with puppet kid. Well your mom is some random broad who fucked the devil. One Piece- I'm just happy for Baby 5. She's so cute I love her. Pica's stupid fucking laugh never gets old. Please enjoy Zoro's contractually mandated three minutes of screentime this week. Meanwhile, Kyros continues to be hot. Obligatory fuck you, Steven Tyler. Don't worry, Rebecca's still here to do nothing. I wish Rebecca didn't suck so bad. And Sabo's just here to be hot and nice. FUCK OFF, BELLAMY. Bellamy might be the only character I hate almost as much as Foxy. Meanwhile Law, still bleeding out on the roof. Law's so cool. Hey Luffy could we maybe focus on somebody who's not complete fucking garbage. And then everything blew up. Barto is a gift we don't deserve. This episode could have been an email. I love these idiots. Bartolomeo continues to be an absolute fucking mood. Man's running off the sheer force of being a simp. Dellinger's just out here having a great time. Yes I know he's the enemy but this gay little bastard is just too fun not to root for. Where do I get a pair of murder heels, asking for myself. Huh, the horns are real. Oh, that's horrifying. This is what republicans think happens at drag shows. Noooo my gay little bastard! What a crazy way to find out the demon possessing Cavendish is homophobic. Can we get Cabbage an exorcism after this? I love Barto so much. My dude this bragging is gonna immediately bite you in the ass. Oh no, Robin! We stan the Simp King. God I wish that were me.

I play this game for the plot. The plot: (Please don't ask how much money I've spent getting Catboy Scar to love me)

Based on the game created by Black Butler's Yana Toboso, Twisted Wonderland is the story of an ordinary high school student transported to a magical school in an unfamilar world. The twist? All of the characters are based on Disney Villains! I am about to get so much more annoying.

Ladies, get you a hideously ugly man who supports your crazy ass getting some therapy.

I'm happy for my hot Gun Wife. Exorcist- Oh no we're being menaced by demon Goofy. I'm pretty sure this is the part where the show starts going off the rails. Dumbass bird learns that getting shot is painful. Satan's got like four sons in a one-mile radius here, you don't have to kill that specific one. Kid the trick is to have a soul so filled with hate and depravity that no demon wants it, like me! Whatever you do, don't explain shit. Never trust an abandoned van in the middle of nowhere. Freezing her tits off here. You're a bad friend, Bon. Probably should have just given that boy an exorcism when you had the chance just to be safe. Y'know what, bird demon does have some good points. Bet you feel like a real asshole now, huh. Annoying douchebag brother just being turned into a hungry hungry hamster is unreasonably funny to me. Sometimes you don't wanna get yourself killed on a daily basis and that's okay. What's a little attempted murder between friends, right? One Piece- Law, still having the WORST fucking day. Just punch Bellamy in the nuts hard enough to make him pass out and call it a day. I'm with the flamingo, kill that guy already. So he was always stupid as all fuck. I hate him more knowing he was a spoiled little rich shithead who just got bored. Remember that time Luffy knocked you out with half a punch, good times. I wish Bellamy was dead. Not now you dipshit, our real friend's bleeding out on the roof. That laugh is still ridiculous. I love Dellinger he's just out here having a good time. MY WIFE. Honey he's not playing he's really that dumb. Y'know what, I can ship it. My dude you're a giant how are you getting your ass beat this hard. Meanwhile Zoro has no idea what's going on here. It's fine you don't need all those bones. Look don't ask me how it's supposed to work but Hajrudin can get it. I hate Bellamy so fucking much. You go girl, get your hideously ugly man. Grandpa fight still cracking me up. Oh no you're breaking her heart. He died. False alarm, we're back. Ohhhh this got real depressing. What the fuck. Someone please give Baby 5 a hug. This turned into a soap opera and I'm kinda here for it. And now your head's broken again, because you were a dick. Forget the hug, someone please give Baby 5 some therapy. His grandpa's proud of him, he gets a promotion, and tripped facefirst into an unreasonably hot wife, Sai's objectively won this arc. Goddammit Unmedicated Grandpa! I know it doesn't make any sense but this old man is hilarious. Fuck off old man she's getting married. I love my wife. Awwwwww. Ladies, get you a man who wants to get your crazy ass into therapy. She's so cute.

If Ray Chase is your mentor figure in a criminal family organization, everyone's about to have a bad time. Exorcist- I like that her sword looks like a derpy snake. Isn't that thing what Zoro's currently fighting in One Piece? Mephisto's just have a good time here. Hey buddy sorry we were gonna execute you because your dad's an asshole, we'd really appreciate it if you saved all of our asses right now. Wasn't he already in your custody working for you and didn't your staff already know he was Satan's bastard son? Fuck off, Charlie Brown. Well that's an easy way to take care of demon bugs. So you went out of your way to repair his sword and save his life because he's your friend and you care about him but now he can go fuck himself, okay sure that makes sense. Come on bro it's time for a training arc. I want to be her when I grow up. Hey, it finally occurred to somebody that Yukio is also the bastard son of the devil and maybe they should keep an eye on that. Ass. Uh hey dude I think you're coming down with leprosy. Whelp, Charlie Brown's getting posessed. Hey look, the heinous bitch is capable of being a decent person for a grand total of three minutes. One Piece- Oh good for a second there I thought you weren't gonna force us to rewatch the tragic backstory one more time. Alright Law you've really gotta kill Doffy now, avenge your adopted faildad. Meanwhile, please just fucking put Bellamy down like the dog he is. Oh no that wasn't fate, that was Law pointing Luffy in the general direction of shenanigans and letting him loose. What factory. Get back to the pantsless fight! You keep saying Trebol's a top executive but I refuse to believe it. This recap is genuinely helpful, thanks. MY WIFE. You gotta save the cat, bro. I genuinely love these two together. Go ahead and kill Bellamy please I'll give you $5. Oh right, Dilf is fighting Steven Tyler. And Rebecca is also here to get in the way. Barto, still having the best goddamn day. This fucking nerd. Cabbage is your horse okay. My dude you're a giant how is this guy giving you so much trouble. I love my wife. Oh right, I forgot about the adorable little fiary princess. BOYFRIEND. Oooh I think you got under the flamingo's skin with that. This is how my doctor gives me the flu shot every year. Law it's really gonna suck if you lose here after that inspiring speech you just gave about avenging your dead loved one. SHUT UP TREBOL. Sorry Law you're really just not good at thie whole revenge thing. Meanwhile, I enjoy seeing Bellamy get hurt. No listen to him, mercy kill him and be done with it. There will come a day where I don't devolve into giggles whenever Pica speaks but today is not that day. That bowling bit came out of nowhere. Only Zoro could manage to lose a guy who's also a building. God, Zoro's so cool. Law continues to have the worst fucking day. We didn't deserve Cora. AW FUCK HIS ARM. It's fine he's a doctor he can sew it back on himself probably. See, this here's my Family Murderin' Pistol, I only bring it out for special occasions. At least Luffy's doing better than Law at his fight.

Hey we watched Shenmue I'm pretty sure that counts as being forklift certified. Exorcist- Rin's got rabies, you're gonna have to put him down like a dog. Saved by the power of boobs. Who the hell are you? You look like a douchebag. My dude literally half the people here are Satan's bastard children. I have zero memory of any of this. Charlie Brown asking the real questions here. Hey buddy, sorry we stole your family's heirloom magic sword. You see, my plan was to give this boy massive daddy issues and turn him loose on the devil. Ah hell we're back in Demon Slayer. Oh hey, she's cute. Of course the caustic bitch is sexist too. This would have taken three episodes of Demon Slayer with 20 solid minutes of tragic backstory for some rando we'd never seen before. And now, some bitch ghosts. Now go rip the nails out of their walls and get out of there. I hate your shitbag brother, guys. One Piece- Me and Corazon could have lived happily ever after with Tiny Law but noooo I'm not allowed to have nice things. I'm glad that kid escaped to one day be hot and also a dinosaur. Guns in this show only work in flashbacks. I can't believe you looked at Trebol and decided to keep him around. Pica's voice is never not hilarious. Tiny Law's really going through it today. Obligatory fuck you, Steven Tyler. I'd like to get off this ride now please. I'd rather just get outright murdered than spend 20 seconds with Trebol. Hey man you can't smoke here, don't you know cigarettes will kill you. Tiny Cora also had it rough back in the day. Goddamn he's cool. Aaaand I'm crying. Man it's convenient that the navy just randomly picked up another kid at the same time. This is why everyone hates you, Doflamingo. Law stop rattling around in there you're gonna get caught. He tripped AND he's on fire! He was too cool for us. Oh this hurts. We didn't deserve Cora.

Slim pickins tonight ain't it. Exorcist- Girl take this opportunity to get yourself some friends who aren't a raging bitch. You don't wanna go to summer training camp that's where the loudest and bitchiest of you gets kidnapped by villains. Girl if you're gonna have a shit personality you could at least have the decency to be a decent cook. I hate the outdoors but Tits Mcgee could convince me to get drunk in the woods and neglect annoying kids. I constantly forget Puppet Kid exists. GODDAMN MOTHS. It's fine she's too busy getting drunk in the woods to notice you. Feed the caustic bitch to the lantern goblin. Good job Charlie Brown. There are approximately 2.5 brain cells in this group. Control your boners, kids. You dumb bastard. VENOMOTH, I CHOOSE YOU! Venemoth used Vine Whip, it's super effective! Aww look, you're friends now. How the hell did Puppet Kid manage that? Boob sword, go! Snaaaaake. Aren't you supposed to be watching your jackass brother, you useless dipshit? Yeah that's not suspicious at all that you called out not waterboarding him. Meanwhile, GUN. Shut up and take the stupid sword. Whelp, Shiemi's possessed. Gross. Tits Mcgee is doing pretty good considering she's probably about 16 beers deep by now. And then everyone got their bones snapped. So does nobody notice Mephisto sitting up there with popcorn? Fuck you and your stupid clock. One Piece- Oh this is gonna hurt. So how do I join the old lady's squad of all women hot marines? The one time guns do something in this show. Fun story, that boy jumping out of a window will one day grow up to be hot and also a dinosaur. Okay now shove that magic frut down that dying boy's throat. I love Corazon but I'm not allowed to have nice things. I'd like to go on record that flashbacks don't count towards my ongoing tally of hot men who get killed. Well hey, maybe for once the navy can be helpful. AW FUCK NOT THAT GUY. Ohhhhh this is not going well. Tiny Law's really going through it today. Your hair is stupid and you've got a wiener on your face, you shouldn't be that strong. I love that dumb flamingo boat. Maybe it's okay and Corazon gets away and he's just been busy this whole time. Oh, this is why regular Law has PTSD now. Aaaand I'm crying.

Mashle- Your first mistake was trusting a guy who willingly talks to a puppet. Oh hey, I guess his dad and the large man aren't hanging out in the woods anymore. I like that these two somehow became friends. I love these idiots so much. I respect Lemon and her thirst. Pay no attention to this weird schmuck floating ominously towards you. Whelp, you're fucked. Sweet, free cream puffs! Oh no, my cream puffs! He just hit you that hard with a pastry. Mash is a good boy there is not a single thought rolling around in that skull of his. Surprise assist from the Sharingan. RIP Mask Dude. Ohhhh them's fightin' words. I love it when Mash says exactly what I'm thinking. Joke's on you that boy's got abs of steel. Puppet boy you can have your existential crisis later, maybe do anything helpful. Oh sure, now you remember your mom's lesson about not be a bag of dicks. These two were definitely banging offscreen. So hey anybody maybe wanna step in and help here? Thanks, horrifying puppet abomination! PUNCH. What the hell, he's a rock. It's Punch Magic, you wouldn't get it. In a surprise twist, he used Kick Magic. This show is a gift. Okay then, that's a new one. Oh I don't like whatever giant mummy hand thing is happening here. The real magic was the friends we made along the way. Lemon is a fucking mood. Ah fuck we're caught. Now, cream puff time. Your dad seems like a real asshole. Exorcist- No seriously how was she hiding those boobs in that hoodie. Commece the jiggling! So like, does everybody just ignore the fact that their Japanese office is run by a demon who's also Satan's kid or have they just not noticed? Girl where the hell did you grow up. I can also be bamboozled by a huge rack, bamboobzled if you will. Again, does nobody care that Yukio is also the bastard child of the devil? Oh sure, now you respect the dad who raised and died for you. Snaaaaake. Lady I am once again asking what kinda tape you're using to keep those boobs restrained. I've only absorbed about half the dialogue of this episode. Tiny Rin sucks. Good thing you already adopted kids because that one just obliterated your nuts. Priest Dad was too cool for us. One Piece- Y'all can just kill Bellamy, please I'll pay you. Meanwhile Law, actively fighting his PTSD. I love Tiny Law he's such a little shit. Don't go back it's a trap! Ah shit he figured out you're a spy. I can't tell if Tiny Law is freakishly short or if Corazon is freakishly tall. He's a good adult in somebody's childhood flashback, there is no possible way this is gonna end well. I love that guy's random goat. Guys I'm sure this plan of taking down Doflamingo is gonna go off without a hitch. Tiny Law's not doing well. Goddammit Cora you precious idiot. God he's hot. Man, Tiny Law must have really hit a growth spurt to become Regular Law at some point. I love Cora he's so dumb. Hey boss, shit's on fire out here. Hey look, he gets to be cool for once! Oh no this flashback is going too well something's about to go very wrong. The one time guns do anything in this damn show.

Get you a man who will burn down eight hospitals in a row for his new forcibly-kidnapped adopted son.

Mashle- I'm deeply uncomfortable with whatever the hell's going on here. Shut up and get punched, jackass. Beat his ass, Mash! Awwwww baby Mash. Oh my god baby Mash. On a scale of Rin to Mash, how good is your relationship with your adopted dad voiced by Kirk Thornton? Use the annoying girl as a meatshield! Do not take Mash bowling. Ah shit freaky clown puppets. BEAT HIS ASS, MASH. Stop beating your own ass, Mash! Third option, just punch this dude in the dick. God I love our boy. He's so cool. Oh you dick. Sweet, free cream puff. Cream puffs are a matter of life and death. Oh that thing's looking real fucked up. Eat shit, douchebag. The strongest magic of all is just punching a dude really hard. I cast Broken Neck. Between this lady and Doflamingo's family, you really don't wanna be a rich person hanging out in a broke town. Cool motive, still murder. Yeah fun story can you just give us back our girlfriend and call it a day. Mash honey no he is a bad guy. Meanwhle, Dot's bleeding out in the next room. Yay! Lemon yelling out HUSBAND HUSBAND HUSBAND killed me. Now kiss. Dot broke. I love these idiots. The plot do be twisting. You're being impersonated by a gijinka for the Catholic Church. Who the hell are you?! Exorcist- Fucking weeb. Good news kids we're going to Disney World. Hey you leave Puppet Kid out of this. Someone get this girl a bra. The ghosts can fuck off I'm gonna go ride Space Mountain ten times. Control your boner you're at work. Now send this little dead child to hell where he belongs. Yeah sure run off alone like a dumbass. Your cunt demon brother has come to cockblock you. Thank god she's cute because she sure is incompetent. This guy's outfit is so, so ugly. Oh right, Hoodie Kid is secretly the lady with massive boobs right? Guys this is how you get banned from Disney World. That kid's already dead he doesn't have to give a shit if he gets hit with a steel girder. Now go back to hell, annoying child. What kind of dark magic is she using to keep those boobs contained. My focus on this show has been renewed. One Piece- Oh right, he talks. Ohh, he's got a fruit. No he's really just that clumsy. I get it man, every family has that one trainwreck of a sibling you have to work around. I forgot Vergo existed. I'm a grownup and "everyone lives in fear of the D" is not a thing that's making me laugh. Tiny Law is not having a great time here. Corazon spontaneously combusting the moment Law slamdunks him into a dumpster cracks me up. I can also easily be bribed with ice cream. I know this is gonna end tragically but Corazon can get it. Tiny Law is an evil little bastard. Awww look at Baby Dellinger. Show I can't read that. Look sometimes you gotta kidnap a child for their own good. Hey there Sengoku. Ohhhhh he's been undercover this whole time. GOAT. Fuck it's Vergo. Dude the government killed his entire town. Awwww Cora you're a good dude. Get you a man who will burn down a hospital for his forcibly-adopted son. Date me. I love this bumbling dumbass so much. The end of this flashback is gonna fucking hurt isn't it. Oh yeah, there's an actual fight going on.

Mashle- A new challenger appears. I want her to know I hate her. Bitches be crazy, Dot. Well hey good news buddy, you found somebody as desperate as you are. Joke's on you, Mash is just gonna find a way to punch through being a statue. Aww, Tiny Dot is adorable. His sister's cute. Beat her ass! Oh, so that's why he wears that dumb headband. No dude she's a bitch, pick on her all you want. Maybe sadsack roommate could manage to do anything at all. Whelp, Dot's dead. False alarm, we're good. They broke your spell and probably six ribs. Your hair is stupid and you should feel bad. At least the girl knows when to fold 'em. Y'know what I'm rooting for Stupid Hair on this. If that's your brother no wonder you're a sadsack failure who can't do anything. I love Mash so goddamn much. You're giving me Stranger Danger vibes. I appreciate that the power scaling spider makes bad puns. Congrats, you made another friend. Alright so we beat him up and loot his corpse, got it. Oh shit, a door he didn't immediately destroy...nevermind. Exorcist- Thar she blows! So why are the exorcists grilling seafood for school credit? You have stupid eyebrows and no boobs, go away. Good, let her drown. Child get better standards. Good news, Cthulhu's here. This kid is annoying as all fuck. Kid is your dad Zoro? Hope y'all like calamari. This teacher sucks. You're right, it is unusual for her to not be a total bitch to someone. Maybe the demon killed your dad because he sounds like he was annoying as all fuck. Let the cat eat the squid like nature intended. Way to suck and fail, you unlikable bitch. Good, let the kid die. Who needs spells when you can bring out a fucking harpoon. There are no brain cells appearing in this episode. Squid, get back here and kill them. Hey Rin, is this nice moment between father and son making you regret being such a piece of shit to your own dead dad? One Piece- Tiny Law had a whole lot of issues. We're like two levels deep in flashback territory this isn't gonna go well. Jesus I need a drink. Fuck you, small children we're torturing! I wouldn't normally say this but Doflamingo needs a hug. Doffy's parents were good people but boy howdy were they dumber than fucking bricks. Tiny Doffy was always terrible. I'm not saying this is how we should treat billionaires but I am taking notes. Hey maybe they're in this conveniently placed shack. In a surprising twist, this poorly-thought plan did not go well. Pandaman sighting! It just keeps getting worse! Man, menopause hit Giolla like a fucking freight train. Corazon can get it. Don't mind me just bleeding out in a corner. Corazon's a goddamn disaster I love him. Oh right, Law's still dying. Wait what. Oh hey, he talks.