EmpressAngel

Hey we watched Shenmue I'm pretty sure that counts as being forklift certified. Exorcist- Rin's got rabies, you're gonna have to put him down like a dog. Saved by the power of boobs. Who the hell are you? You look like a douchebag. My dude literally half the people here are Satan's bastard children. I have zero memory of any of this. Charlie Brown asking the real questions here. Hey buddy, sorry we stole your family's heirloom magic sword. You see, my plan was to give this boy massive daddy issues and turn him loose on the devil. Ah hell we're back in Demon Slayer. Oh hey, she's cute. Of course the caustic bitch is sexist too. This would have taken three episodes of Demon Slayer with 20 solid minutes of tragic backstory for some rando we'd never seen before. And now, some bitch ghosts. Now go rip the nails out of their walls and get out of there. I hate your shitbag brother, guys. One Piece- Me and Corazon could have lived happily ever after with Tiny Law but noooo I'm not allowed to have nice things. I'm glad that kid escaped to one day be hot and also a dinosaur. Guns in this show only work in flashbacks. I can't believe you looked at Trebol and decided to keep him around. Pica's voice is never not hilarious. Tiny Law's really going through it today. Obligatory fuck you, Steven Tyler. I'd like to get off this ride now please. I'd rather just get outright murdered than spend 20 seconds with Trebol. Hey man you can't smoke here, don't you know cigarettes will kill you. Tiny Cora also had it rough back in the day. Goddamn he's cool. Aaaand I'm crying. Man it's convenient that the navy just randomly picked up another kid at the same time. This is why everyone hates you, Doflamingo. Law stop rattling around in there you're gonna get caught. He tripped AND he's on fire! He was too cool for us. Oh this hurts. We didn't deserve Cora.

Slim pickins tonight ain't it. Exorcist- Girl take this opportunity to get yourself some friends who aren't a raging bitch. You don't wanna go to summer training camp that's where the loudest and bitchiest of you gets kidnapped by villains. Girl if you're gonna have a shit personality you could at least have the decency to be a decent cook. I hate the outdoors but Tits Mcgee could convince me to get drunk in the woods and neglect annoying kids. I constantly forget Puppet Kid exists. GODDAMN MOTHS. It's fine she's too busy getting drunk in the woods to notice you. Feed the caustic bitch to the lantern goblin. Good job Charlie Brown. There are approximately 2.5 brain cells in this group. Control your boners, kids. You dumb bastard. VENOMOTH, I CHOOSE YOU! Venemoth used Vine Whip, it's super effective! Aww look, you're friends now. How the hell did Puppet Kid manage that? Boob sword, go! Snaaaaake. Aren't you supposed to be watching your jackass brother, you useless dipshit? Yeah that's not suspicious at all that you called out not waterboarding him. Meanwhile, GUN. Shut up and take the stupid sword. Whelp, Shiemi's possessed. Gross. Tits Mcgee is doing pretty good considering she's probably about 16 beers deep by now. And then everyone got their bones snapped. So does nobody notice Mephisto sitting up there with popcorn? Fuck you and your stupid clock. One Piece- Oh this is gonna hurt. So how do I join the old lady's squad of all women hot marines? The one time guns do something in this show. Fun story, that boy jumping out of a window will one day grow up to be hot and also a dinosaur. Okay now shove that magic frut down that dying boy's throat. I love Corazon but I'm not allowed to have nice things. I'd like to go on record that flashbacks don't count towards my ongoing tally of hot men who get killed. Well hey, maybe for once the navy can be helpful. AW FUCK NOT THAT GUY. Ohhhhh this is not going well. Tiny Law's really going through it today. Your hair is stupid and you've got a wiener on your face, you shouldn't be that strong. I love that dumb flamingo boat. Maybe it's okay and Corazon gets away and he's just been busy this whole time. Oh, this is why regular Law has PTSD now. Aaaand I'm crying.

Mashle- Your first mistake was trusting a guy who willingly talks to a puppet. Oh hey, I guess his dad and the large man aren't hanging out in the woods anymore. I like that these two somehow became friends. I love these idiots so much. I respect Lemon and her thirst. Pay no attention to this weird schmuck floating ominously towards you. Whelp, you're fucked. Sweet, free cream puffs! Oh no, my cream puffs! He just hit you that hard with a pastry. Mash is a good boy there is not a single thought rolling around in that skull of his. Surprise assist from the Sharingan. RIP Mask Dude. Ohhhh them's fightin' words. I love it when Mash says exactly what I'm thinking. Joke's on you that boy's got abs of steel. Puppet boy you can have your existential crisis later, maybe do anything helpful. Oh sure, now you remember your mom's lesson about not be a bag of dicks. These two were definitely banging offscreen. So hey anybody maybe wanna step in and help here? Thanks, horrifying puppet abomination! PUNCH. What the hell, he's a rock. It's Punch Magic, you wouldn't get it. In a surprise twist, he used Kick Magic. This show is a gift. Okay then, that's a new one. Oh I don't like whatever giant mummy hand thing is happening here. The real magic was the friends we made along the way. Lemon is a fucking mood. Ah fuck we're caught. Now, cream puff time. Your dad seems like a real asshole. Exorcist- No seriously how was she hiding those boobs in that hoodie. Commece the jiggling! So like, does everybody just ignore the fact that their Japanese office is run by a demon who's also Satan's kid or have they just not noticed? Girl where the hell did you grow up. I can also be bamboozled by a huge rack, bamboobzled if you will. Again, does nobody care that Yukio is also the bastard child of the devil? Oh sure, now you respect the dad who raised and died for you. Snaaaaake. Lady I am once again asking what kinda tape you're using to keep those boobs restrained. I've only absorbed about half the dialogue of this episode. Tiny Rin sucks. Good thing you already adopted kids because that one just obliterated your nuts. Priest Dad was too cool for us. One Piece- Y'all can just kill Bellamy, please I'll pay you. Meanwhile Law, actively fighting his PTSD. I love Tiny Law he's such a little shit. Don't go back it's a trap! Ah shit he figured out you're a spy. I can't tell if Tiny Law is freakishly short or if Corazon is freakishly tall. He's a good adult in somebody's childhood flashback, there is no possible way this is gonna end well. I love that guy's random goat. Guys I'm sure this plan of taking down Doflamingo is gonna go off without a hitch. Tiny Law's not doing well. Goddammit Cora you precious idiot. God he's hot. Man, Tiny Law must have really hit a growth spurt to become Regular Law at some point. I love Cora he's so dumb. Hey boss, shit's on fire out here. Hey look, he gets to be cool for once! Oh no this flashback is going too well something's about to go very wrong. The one time guns do anything in this damn show.

Get you a man who will burn down eight hospitals in a row for his new forcibly-kidnapped adopted son.

Mashle- I'm deeply uncomfortable with whatever the hell's going on here. Shut up and get punched, jackass. Beat his ass, Mash! Awwwww baby Mash. Oh my god baby Mash. On a scale of Rin to Mash, how good is your relationship with your adopted dad voiced by Kirk Thornton? Use the annoying girl as a meatshield! Do not take Mash bowling. Ah shit freaky clown puppets. BEAT HIS ASS, MASH. Stop beating your own ass, Mash! Third option, just punch this dude in the dick. God I love our boy. He's so cool. Oh you dick. Sweet, free cream puff. Cream puffs are a matter of life and death. Oh that thing's looking real fucked up. Eat shit, douchebag. The strongest magic of all is just punching a dude really hard. I cast Broken Neck. Between this lady and Doflamingo's family, you really don't wanna be a rich person hanging out in a broke town. Cool motive, still murder. Yeah fun story can you just give us back our girlfriend and call it a day. Mash honey no he is a bad guy. Meanwhle, Dot's bleeding out in the next room. Yay! Lemon yelling out HUSBAND HUSBAND HUSBAND killed me. Now kiss. Dot broke. I love these idiots. The plot do be twisting. You're being impersonated by a gijinka for the Catholic Church. Who the hell are you?! Exorcist- Fucking weeb. Good news kids we're going to Disney World. Hey you leave Puppet Kid out of this. Someone get this girl a bra. The ghosts can fuck off I'm gonna go ride Space Mountain ten times. Control your boner you're at work. Now send this little dead child to hell where he belongs. Yeah sure run off alone like a dumbass. Your cunt demon brother has come to cockblock you. Thank god she's cute because she sure is incompetent. This guy's outfit is so, so ugly. Oh right, Hoodie Kid is secretly the lady with massive boobs right? Guys this is how you get banned from Disney World. That kid's already dead he doesn't have to give a shit if he gets hit with a steel girder. Now go back to hell, annoying child. What kind of dark magic is she using to keep those boobs contained. My focus on this show has been renewed. One Piece- Oh right, he talks. Ohh, he's got a fruit. No he's really just that clumsy. I get it man, every family has that one trainwreck of a sibling you have to work around. I forgot Vergo existed. I'm a grownup and "everyone lives in fear of the D" is not a thing that's making me laugh. Tiny Law is not having a great time here. Corazon spontaneously combusting the moment Law slamdunks him into a dumpster cracks me up. I can also easily be bribed with ice cream. I know this is gonna end tragically but Corazon can get it. Tiny Law is an evil little bastard. Awww look at Baby Dellinger. Show I can't read that. Look sometimes you gotta kidnap a child for their own good. Hey there Sengoku. Ohhhhh he's been undercover this whole time. GOAT. Fuck it's Vergo. Dude the government killed his entire town. Awwww Cora you're a good dude. Get you a man who will burn down a hospital for his forcibly-adopted son. Date me. I love this bumbling dumbass so much. The end of this flashback is gonna fucking hurt isn't it. Oh yeah, there's an actual fight going on.

Mashle- A new challenger appears. I want her to know I hate her. Bitches be crazy, Dot. Well hey good news buddy, you found somebody as desperate as you are. Joke's on you, Mash is just gonna find a way to punch through being a statue. Aww, Tiny Dot is adorable. His sister's cute. Beat her ass! Oh, so that's why he wears that dumb headband. No dude she's a bitch, pick on her all you want. Maybe sadsack roommate could manage to do anything at all. Whelp, Dot's dead. False alarm, we're good. They broke your spell and probably six ribs. Your hair is stupid and you should feel bad. At least the girl knows when to fold 'em. Y'know what I'm rooting for Stupid Hair on this. If that's your brother no wonder you're a sadsack failure who can't do anything. I love Mash so goddamn much. You're giving me Stranger Danger vibes. I appreciate that the power scaling spider makes bad puns. Congrats, you made another friend. Alright so we beat him up and loot his corpse, got it. Oh shit, a door he didn't immediately destroy...nevermind. Exorcist- Thar she blows! So why are the exorcists grilling seafood for school credit? You have stupid eyebrows and no boobs, go away. Good, let her drown. Child get better standards. Good news, Cthulhu's here. This kid is annoying as all fuck. Kid is your dad Zoro? Hope y'all like calamari. This teacher sucks. You're right, it is unusual for her to not be a total bitch to someone. Maybe the demon killed your dad because he sounds like he was annoying as all fuck. Let the cat eat the squid like nature intended. Way to suck and fail, you unlikable bitch. Good, let the kid die. Who needs spells when you can bring out a fucking harpoon. There are no brain cells appearing in this episode. Squid, get back here and kill them. Hey Rin, is this nice moment between father and son making you regret being such a piece of shit to your own dead dad? One Piece- Tiny Law had a whole lot of issues. We're like two levels deep in flashback territory this isn't gonna go well. Jesus I need a drink. Fuck you, small children we're torturing! I wouldn't normally say this but Doflamingo needs a hug. Doffy's parents were good people but boy howdy were they dumber than fucking bricks. Tiny Doffy was always terrible. I'm not saying this is how we should treat billionaires but I am taking notes. Hey maybe they're in this conveniently placed shack. In a surprising twist, this poorly-thought plan did not go well. Pandaman sighting! It just keeps getting worse! Man, menopause hit Giolla like a fucking freight train. Corazon can get it. Don't mind me just bleeding out in a corner. Corazon's a goddamn disaster I love him. Oh right, Law's still dying. Wait what. Oh hey, he talks.

No seriously, the fuck happened to Senior Pink between then and now. Mashle- Why are these kids named like a game of Madlibs. Look I'm not gonna complain if you take out the weird sisterfucker. Eat rock, douchebag. Whatcha got there, drugs? Dude your power is literally wet dirt I'm not gonna be scared of that. Wow what a shock your shitty dirt monster is losing. Remember kids, don't do drugs. Your shitty dad was right, you do suck and should be ashamed. Well that was anticlimactic. BEAT HIS ASS, SON. This could be going better. He's just a good boy who loves his dad. It's probably not a good thing that he's bleeding so much. Aw shit that's not good. Abs of steel right here. Ah hell he's got a sharingan. I love this dumb bastard. That's cheating why do you have like five different powers. Joke's on you the guy's just that strong. I love watching Mash hit dudes. Just make the kid wear an eyepatch, you stupid assholes. Lord who what now? Mash is a good boy and we don't deserve him. Exorcist- Cat. Too cheap to spring for some AC, huh? No shit you're staring from the bottom, you didn't know demons existed until like two months ago. He's right, Rin sucks. Your dad died to save you, you ungrateful sack of shit. Yukio and Iida would get along. Rin's the fucking worst. That's just standard cat behavior. "So your dad got the cat demon completely fucking plastered and it all ended well." Obviously the answer to just murder the shit out of it. It's fine it's not like he's got any brains in that skull to injure. So how is it their dad had this years-long friendship with the cat demon and yet Rin never saw the thing ever before at any point? The real answer was to get that cat absolutely fucking plastered again. One Piece- Tiny Law is not having a good time here. Holy shit what happened to Senior Pink. Law getting tossed into the garbage is still unreasonably funny. Aww look at baby Dillinger over there. Shut up Trebol. Pica's voice is still hilarious. Oh my god you can't just ask someone why they're white. Jesus christ Law. Tiny Baby 5 is adorable. Oh this is gonna get depressing real quick. Oh no he also had an adorable little sister. Surprise, it's lead poisoning. Oh, that's horrifying. It just keeps getting worse! No really,what the hell happened to Senior Pink. Nun lady this is absolutely a trap the government will 100% murder children without a second thought. Things are not going well today. Tiny Law broke. Admittedly I was not expecting this flashback to be quite this fucked up. For the love of god somebody please hug Tiny Law. Corazon, also not having a great day now.

Mashle- Hi random new guy, by random new guy. Exposition later, cream puffs now. Which one was Tom? Maybe he'd feel better if you brought him cream puffs. Oh no, not our bro! The worst nightmare of all, being forced to become a mime. Hey guys I think there's something suspicious going on here. Awww she made him a plushie. I respect mandatory girlfriend, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I love these idiots. Uhhhh guys I don't think that's normal. Boy your dick is gonna get you killed one day. You don't need a spell, Mash is good with doors. Mash vs Doors is still my favorite running gag. Are they running illegal puppet fights down here? Punch him in the dick! Dot the other boys aren't that much prettier than you. Fucking magic bureaucrats. Oh hey, a new subplot that I'm sure won't be important. Oh flowers, I'm so scared. And then he died. Hey, he won! This show is a gift. "I'm going under, save my baby" absolutely killed me. Beat him and break his stupid shitty glasses. Oh no it's a girl, Dot's done for. Oh I hate these two already. Punch him in the dick! Exorcist- Surprise, we let you get hurt for fun! She's right, she's a terrible bitch who can't work with others. No seriously what is Puppet Kid's deal. Hey dude why'd you try to kill my brother? He is absolutely going to try and kill your brother, don't trust him. I do love that little pokemon she's got. She may be completely incompetent but Shiemi's adorable. Surprise, evil Seitz is out here trying to kill your brother, again. So like, you realize Yukio is also the bastard son of the devil, right? I am not immume to evil Seitz yellling at me. "Wait, am I the asshole here?" Shiemi's trying her best here. Hey sorry I hired that guy who tried to murder your brother. There's something really funny about demons using cell phones in hell. One Piece- Uh hey Doffy you okay buddy? Meanwhile, everyone's dying. Even the navy's done with this shit. No shit the animals are panicking. Again, shoutout to Fujitoro for being one of like, five genuinely good marines. No dude they're also terrified as fuck here in addition to angry. Fuck you, Bellamy. Why the fuck is Trebol allowed to be here. I'm sure that mysterious secret he knows about the government won't be important. Oh shit it can do that? Show me what kinda unhealthy backstory these two have together. Tiny Law! Trebol, disgusting from the get-go. Uhhh hey Tiny Law you okay there kiddo? Oh that's rough. New guy's just as much of a dipshit as everyone else. Okay him shotputting Tiny Law into a trash heap is unreasonably funny. Yes I know he's attacking children but he's kinda hot and I can fix him. And then he was on fire.

I managed to forget about Uzumaki in record time and that's honestly just kinda more sad than anything. Mashle- I appreciate the recap because I 100% don't remember last month. Him just standing there with that door is cracking me up. I love my dumb good fight son. Well it's good to know the puppet horror is reversible. BEAT HIS ASS, or not that works too I guess. There is no stronger power in this world dthan straight up not giving a fuck. Oh my god our boy is amazing. I would have absolutely let that guy die. Get your own room! Buddy you've got nothing to worry about, that dude only wants to bang his own sister. Mash vs doors is my favorite running gag. "I just wanna get a girlfriend" is a mood. Sorry girl, no gang bang for you today. Hoot hoot, motherfuckers. Let's beat them up and take their gold. Who invited Frankenstein. Owls are dicks. Mash no! And then he turned into a shark. Fuck them birds, my guy. No seriously, who gives a fuck about the birds. Wow, surprising how bringing a giant heavy thing to a fight with a guy that controls gravity didn't pan out well. I'm never lucky enough to see a lolisister fucker die. Mash doing a remarkable job for a guy actively drowning. I goddamn love this show. Fuck you and your stupid mask, loser. BEAT HIS ASS. Oh that ain't good there's somebody faster than our boy. Oh, shit. Exorcist- Oh right, that happened. Maybe you'd have some friends if you weren't such a heinous bitch. I mean he's Satan, does he need a dedicated reason to kill you? So why are y'all not just shouting this shit out of a megaphone in every fight? I hope she dies. Hey now, what did Puppet Kid do to deserve having his dick smashed? Quick, use the unlikable bitch as a meatshield! Surprise, there's two horrible ghouls. Charlie Brown with the assist here. Don't need a good memory when you have a good stick. I already forgot about Eyepatch Seitz again. I think those ghost dogs should rip her limb from limb. Seriously girl you have gotta get better standards for your friends. One Piece- You can go ahead and kill Trebol any time you want, please I'm begging you I'll pay you. Look we should just appreciate that Luffy was able to follow a plan for a whole like, five minutes. Man, Sabo's hot. Koala's so cute. These two are absolutely fucking. Shoutout to Fujitora for being a genuinely good dude. Usopp is popular today. My petty ass would definitely just let everyone die. Thanks, random knife guy! Yes, you all suck and should feel bad about yourselves. That crippling gambling addiction probably isn't great but other than that, Fujitora's the best. God, Law's so cool. I'd honestly rather die than have to be within ten feet of Trebol. Law has returned to having the worst fucking day. You shoudl just kill Bellamy. This fight could be going better. Ah hell of course he's one of those assholes. Oh this is gonna be a fucked up backstory. Uhhh hey Doffy you okay there buddy?

My Christmas gift is being able to sleep before midnight on Saturday for the rest of the year. Mashle- Give him a second, Mash is just processing the tragic loss of his snack. My dude you absolutely cannot handle it. You're a very dumb boy but a good boy. And then he died. I'm sure you didn't need most of those organs that just ruptured. Maybe focus your attention on a girl who's not a total bitch. BEAT HIS ASS, SON. Joke's on you, magic is no match for raw physical violence. I love watching violence. That's one, fuckface. Punch him in the dick next! Hey look a diversion. He just backhanded that thing into next month. Fuck off, you horrible brat. We stan a gender-inclusive violence boy. Contractually-mandated girlfriend is adorable. I can't wait to see that entire dorm get punch-murdered. Hey kiddo your pants are glowing. Wooow. Ah yes, the good ol' Sorting Unicorn Skeleton. This show is a gift. Mash's only weakness is doors. No really what the fuck is with the creepy puppet doll. What the fuck did I just watch. What the fuck. Mash buddy we gotta get out of here, this shit ain't right. Exorcist- Has that other girl tried not being an unlikable bitch? In his defense, his brother's told him absolute jack shit about the job. Choose the one with the rifle. I would still try to pet that hellhound. That little pokemon is adorable. Oh honey have some standards for your friends. I always forget that weird puppet kid exists. Calm down there, Mineta. Tonight's theme is terrible girls who should fuck off forever. We'll have so much fun fighting demons together in situations that might kill us! This is your fault and you should feel bad. That pokemon is the only competent character in this episode. Put some pants on, you embarassing shrew. I'm sure she doesn't hate you but I sure do. I forgot eyepatch Seitz is evil. One Piece- Who the fuck let Trebol in here. Can we get Cabbage's horse some medical attention now please. Man, random henchmen are really fucking stupid. I just got disgust whiplash from being jumpscared by Trebol's face. Just let Bellamy die. He sucks and deserves to suffer for his failures. Cry harder, bitch boy. Doflamingo may be a monster but I'm 100% with him on this. I like seeing Bellamy get hurt. I'm actually with Trebol here, that shit was hilarious. I mean he does have a point, Law did walk up and start throwing the first punch here. Oooh is it finally tragic backstory time? Law's so cool. I fully approve of using Bellamy as a meatshield. Meanwhile, shenanigans. I still find the Grandpa Fight unreasonably funny. MY WIFE. Shippin' it. I know so many people who would give everything they have to get the shit kicked out of the mby giant Robin legs. I am so here for the Man Fight. I'd tell these fangirls to have some standards but I can and have done worse. Please punch the shit out of Bellamy. Luffy I've seen you punch your friends in the face before, that's no excuse. Oh my god Law did you really think he could follow a plan. Hey at least it looks cool. Man, Law's really hot. Not a bad place to leave off for the year, I guess.

It's a Christmas miracle, everybody kept their clothes on in the kitchen. Mashle- Which is the dorm for dumb bastards because that's where I belong. I love Mash so much there is not a single braincell rattling around in that skull. It's always time for cream puffs. Oh it's the lolicon. That mandrake is a mood. Give it a cream puff. Plan B, punch the shit out of it. Hey get your Food Wars out of my magic school. How did you turn it into a cream puff. This show is a gift. Hey look, a new punching fight boy. Uh guy what's up with the freaky puppet. I hope you're gonna fight a unicorn out there. He's so obnoxious. Hey now leave the hot dudes alone. Magic scorpions, good enough. Who the fuck are you? You've got it all wrong, Mash doesn't think at all. Oh we gotta fight this jackass now. It's all good, cream puff is fine. SLAP. What is wrong with all you kids?! Aww, he does have some redeeming qualities. You got this, kiddo! Well, this has to be a trap. You don't got this, kiddo. Sorry girl, Mash's only love is cream puffs. Don't worry were were already gonna put him in the hospital anyway. Dude's definitely got a Hisoka fight boner for this. MY CREAM PUFF. He has to die now. Exorcist- Rin still sucks. You two should just fuck already. Get it, Yukio. Bitches be crazy, Yukio. Remember, we're killing billionaires now. Oh right, cooking is the one thing Rin's not garbage at. Kitchen's haunted. You guys really kinda suck at noticing things. So how do I get my house possessed by the food demon. Okay that grandma joke actually got a laugh out of me. That's a pokemon. Never leave Rin alone he'll fuck it up the moment your back is turned. And now they're bros. Look at you acting cringe in public. These girls are awful. He literally said his borther does the cooking you dumb bitches. They deserve to die. We didn't deserve Priest Dad. Bitches be crazy, Yukio. One Piece- Fucking children of the corn little brat here. I hope he drew another derpbirb. I like when Usopp gets to be cool. Y'know what I respect these random guys charging into battle with their push brooms. Law by now you should know better than to ask Luffy about his plans. Fuck you, child! Listen to Law for once and just ditch the creepy little brat. This is all Kanjuro's fault. Oh goddammit Luffy can't resist free snacks. Now would be a great time to shoot, Usopp! Aw shit we're fucked. At least Luffy gets to be a cool toy. Meanwhile everyone behind him doing the absolute shittiest job of holding back the mob. Oh neat, he leveled up and learned haki. MISSION STATUS: SICK. He gave her PTSD. A couple of those nutcracker guys are definitely dead. Who the fuck invited Trebol. I now he's evil as all hell but Doflamingo's just so cool.

I only remembered this wasn't a holiday marathon week about two minutes before Hogwarts Fight Club started. Mashle- I have zero doubts that Mash will figure out how to fake it at quidditch. I love this dumbass bruh. Aaaand he immediately shattered his arm. Fangirl is a mood. You gotta jump up there and fuck 'em up, Mash. Oh my god. This is some real Loony Tunes shit and I'm here for it. The ball is now a boomerang. I desperately need Mash and Saitama to hang out. And that's why Mash isn't allowed to play quidditch anymore. Mash is a good boy. I like his mandatory girlfriend. Lance Crown 100% sounds like a OnlyFans name. Joke's on you buddy he's gonna shatter your ribs. Dude he is literally not thinking at all. Meanwhile Large Man and Old Dad bond out in the woods. Oh hey, a spell actually worked on Mash. My dude this boy genuinely could not give a single yodeling fuck. Hey look you dropped your shitty necklace. Holy shit I'm crying. He's right, the answer is cream puffs. I like to think the author saw that one gross creep from Black Clover and agreed he needed to die. Y'all know you can just get a sharpie and call it a day. I'd die for you Mash. You should throw him off the cliff anyway. Exorcist- I'm just waiting for that lady with huge boobs to show up. I'm sure the kids who are actually trying don't mind that Rin gets to skate by on nepotism. Just shut up and measure your dicks already. I'm rooting for the frog. In a surprise twist, everybody hates Satan. That was the night Satan fucked your mom. Thanks for the exposition dump, Charlie Brown. Incompetent Nice Girl vs Total Bitch. Piss off kids, teacher's gotta go get laid. I hate you, kids. Rin you literally didn't know about Satan until like a month ago. I have zero memory of that guy. I forgot they're apparently brothers. Just fuck already. One Piece- My favorite running gag in this arc is Law's constant look of regret at how this has turned out. Obligatory fuck you, Steven Tyler. Rebecca really should have just sat this one out. I KILLED MUFASA. Okay Rebecca it's really important, try not to suck and fail at something for five whole minutes. I'm still amazed her boobs are managing to stay in that top. DILF AHOY. I hope this is a nice father-daughter bonding experience of murdering an aging rock star. Goddammit Rebecca you could at least meet them halfway on the stairs. Law finally gets to do something again! Law, regretting his life slightly less for probably the next five minutes. I like it when Law gets to be cool. Jesus Law what are you doing. Oh right, he got shot in the liver. Law you know damn well this boy is not gonna listen to a plan. Oh fuck no you go right the hell back to sleep you creepy little brat.

Happy early Thanksgiving, I brought the violence. Mashle- I assume he just ripped that entire damn tree out of the ground and only grabbed the root. I love this kid so goddamn much. NYOOM. Eat shit, douche boy. And now, King Douche graces us with an appearance. Joke's on you Mash has zero fucks to give about this. Oh shit, cream puffs. Fuck of dude he was busy baking. Mash kiddo you're probably gonna wanna grow a fuck to give at some point. Sorry Mash I'm gonna kill your roommate on your behalf. I can't wait to watch our boy knock this douchebag's head off. BEAT HIS ASS, SON. Never underestimate the power of just fuckin' wailing on a dude. Mash my dude ya fucked up. Can we punch this man next-YES GOOD. Oh my god what the fuck. Okay so our boy's kind of prone to murder. "You buried the vice principal" is a sentence they've probably never had to say before at this school. Thanks, Dimestore Dumbledore. That sound you hear is his tiny little pea brain rattling around in his skull. Mash, your job is to keep wailing on terrible people. Mash is a good boy and everyone loves him now. I respect the fangirls. DO IT BRUH. Exorcist- It's funny how much of this show rings literally zero bells for me. Yes you're stupid now read your kids books. Did he always have a tail? Rin continues to fucking suck. Oh right, the girl who's cute but incompetent. Oh yeah your legs are fine they're just haunted by plant demons. So like, how did this minor demon get through the demon-proof barrier around the garden that you said was there five minutes ago? Just go the fuck inside for like 20 minutes you dumb brat. It's okay lady it's not your fault that your kid sucks. Girl you've got like $14 and some pocket lint in that purse. Yeah sure you never talked to anyone in the garden except for the fucking talking flower who told you that you'd never leave the garden. She died doing what she loved, being crushed to death by improperly-secured yard structures. It's a plant, just set it on fire. That's what they shot JFK with. One Piece- God, Sabo's hot. Somebody get that horse some medical attention. Oh no Leo, Rebecca is absolutely going to fuck this up if you leave her alone. Hey show thanks for the reminder, for a minute there I forgot about Rebecca's tragic backstory. Aw fuck it's Steven Tyler. Meanwhile Barto continues to have the best goddamn day. Wait, you could make stairs this entire time? Holy shit you killed him. Cut to my boyfriend, seen here trying to immolate an elderly blind man. Joke's on you Fujitora doesn't give a shit. Sabo's so cool. Doflamingo can't destroy the country if this Gravity vs Fire fight destroys it first. I don't know enough about gambling to understand this metaphor. Fuck you, Steven Tyler! I like how Kyros is speedrunning those stairs with only one leg faster than kids half his age. I hope that horse is okay. Law, continuing to regret every decision he's never made. BARTO NO. No you idiot don't die, we'll lose those stairs! Robin can slap me next. I like how we have scenes of all the others working hard and then there's just Franky and Senior Pink doing a choreographed ballet together.

Tonight's theme is apparently magic schools. Mashle- I'd die for you, muscle boy. Stealth. It's fine we drew on him with sharpie. I immediately feel the overwhelming need to punch him. Mash is a good boy and I love him. Ain't this the test from Naruto? This is fantastic. I hope the next test is just violence. Aww she likes him. She is not having a good time here. Oh fuck you, girl. I love my strong muscle son. Hey look, a sphinx. Just let her die. You're right, you suck and deserve to get killed. PUNCHBOY GO. Who needs magic when you have the power of fist. I think my favorite part of all this is his complete indifference to everything. Okay I like her. Fuuuuck yoooou. Why didn't anybody in Harry Potter ever just try that? Don't fuck this up for us, Merlin. He's a certified good boy. Sir I will eat my hat if anything here's stronger than this kid. Nooo, old dad! Joke's on you, old man. Welcome to Hogwarts, Mash. I'd snap your neck like a pretzel without a second thought, grandpa. Jesus christ Mash. I hope the doors are just a running joke here. He's already lost interest, my dude. Exorcist- Priest Dad, still too cool for this show. I'm pretty sure that's the same car my Barbie had 30 years ago. Piss off Rin, not everything is about you. Rin fucking sucks. Mephisto totally isn't a demon, my dude. I have no memory of any of you people. Just a talking dog here, nothing to see. Surprise, your brother's cooler than you. Shut up Rin. GUN. Your dad wouldn't have died if you weren't such a shitty son. Meanwhile the rest of the class is out in the hall wondering what the fuck is going on. One Piece- Yes be sure you stay in stealth mode as you soar through the air on an extremely conspicuous rope of insects. I love Barto so much. We're saving three pricesses in the same arc I bet that's a new record. They're right, why would you give them a plate if they couldn't break it. Horse no! If horse dies we riot. Oh good, the giant nutcrackers are posessed. Not now, Samurai Pennywise! This child has Usopp-related PTSD. Luffy's about to get turned into a Stretch Armstrong. Let that poor derpbirb rest. Meanwhile, MY WIFE. Uh lady you gonna do something here? This is the second time today somebody's accidentally fumbled his way into a girlfriend. I love you, Unmedicated Grandpa. I'm so here for this Old Man Fight. Eyes on the prize, Bartolomeo! He died as he lived, simping for Luffy. Robin I've seen you grow giant wings and fly before. Law, still having the worst day. Oh hey thanks Barto. Ah fuck they gave the key to the one person who's not here. You heard the woman, cheese it!

Black Clover but give it a MC who isn't dogshit. Mashle- Is this a version of Asta I don't immediately hate? Why does everybody have Dr Stone marks on their face? He's dumb as all fuck I love this kid. I would also disobey any order for some good snacks. I am not immune to a terrible large man voiced by Seitz. MY SNACKS. Remember Mash, ACAB. This is my son now and I would die for him. Hey he fixed the door. Awww he brought him snacks. That bird may be cursed and evil but it is pretty. Squirrel. Oh no, the door! Choke me next, I mean wait what. It's too early for a tragic backstory please don't kill his dad. Someone left a baby! This entire situation could have been avoided with a $2 sharpie. HEY KOOLAID MAN. Mash is a good boy. Who needs magic when you can just punch things really hard. Oh my god this is fantastic. This fucking rules. I've trusted worse men over less. I'm so fucking here for Fight Club Hogwarts. Exorcist- I don't remember specifics but I'm pretty sure this doesn't go well for Priest Dad. I hate it when I'm possessed by demons and forget I got my ass beat. Here kiddo have a sword. Y'all should have fortified that barrier against trucks. Demon demon demon demon mushroom mushroom. Somebody whips out a shotgun and shit instantly gets good. Oh right, that's why I hate this kid. This is all your fault, Rin. Priest Dad was too cool for this show. This is the most anime-looking motherfucker I've ever seen. One Piece- We have a new pricess to save. I love Franky's theme. How many Straw Hats have had their tits used as a transportation service during this arc? Tiny Grandpa still cracks me up. I've had several managers in my life that had this exact same vibe. i need Senor Pink and Franky to be best friends. The Care Bear strategy is a bold move, let's see if it pays off. Wicca no! Franky's about to get a visit from HR. I've had several managers in my life I'd like to do that to. Bro what. So what are we? Sooooo manly. This arc has a lot of issues but I goddamn love these two fighting each other. Meanwhile I'm glad Kyros is having a nice time babysitting. Barto continues to be an absolute mood. Usopp, not having a good time here. Viola they will absolutely hand your dad over to die to save their own shit. Oh hey, Kinemon. I'd die for you Derpbirb. Goddammit Pennywise! I don't remember if we know what her power is or not. Hey maybe she's hidden in the creepy dungeon where we send princesses to suffer. Oh my god she's so cute we have to save her.