Game Master

Everyone loves a cushy, mindless government job. Clock in, look busy, pass the buck, clock out - that’s what it’s all about. How else are you going to pay off that six digit student loan and still have time to finish that twenty year old Frasier screenplay? And you can still complain about how soul crushing your existence is to the neighbor you ambushed as she was jogging by. Well… now’s your chance. A new mayor is being sworn in, and he’s going to be looking for the most unscrupulous, brown nosing apprentice he can find. All you have to do is dazzle one of his highly unqualified deputies with your feigned competence. What could be easier? … This will be the third time we’ve run this game, but if you still haven’t seen it, here’s a basic synopsis. In the early rounds, you and your teammates compete against another team to win challenges and earn points for the whole team. Then you take those points with you to the knockout round where you compete as an individual to become the next apprentice. You’ll be asked to put your creativity and general knowledge to the test, with an emphasis on current trends and a broad knowledge of civics. This is a team event, so you will have to commit to participating every week during the first three team rounds (about six weeks total). Challenges last a week and a half, with a half week of voting. Once the knockout rounds start, the players with the fewest points are knocked out until the last three compete for the ultimate prize. Enrollment starts now and continues until next Friday. Go to the poll and sign up there.

Wait... that means I can give this account to Buddy. Cool.

Dude....

Survivor III is here! If you're interested, sign up in this thread. Here are the basic rules for participation: The game premise is political in nature, but this is not a venue to air your political or ideological opinions. You're free to express yourself in your submissions, but we will not allow any intolerance toward your fellow UEMBers or any racial, gender, or ethnic group. Doing so is grounds for being removed from the game. This is at least partly a team competition. If you're not confident in your own creativity, skills or breadth of knowledge on any or all subject, that's perfectly fine - we will not ask you to do anything that you can't or don't want to do. However, you still need to interact with your teammates. Offer encouragement, act as devil's advocate, or just give your honest opinion. Anything will help, as long as your a part of it. The team competition will last for three rounds, and the participation portion is about a week per round. At the very least, check in every day to see what your team is doing. Be respectful. Trash talking is part of the fun, but don't make personal attacks. Don't call out users by name. Don't mock anyone. Don't Doxx anyone. Non participating friends, family or other IRL acquaintances are also off limits. At the same time, have a sense of humor. If your particular mannerisms, styles of speech, or any personal experience shared on the UEMB are incorporated in a joke, don't be offended. It's okay to laugh at yourself, just as long as it's not at the expense of your dignity. ??? Life does get in the way. If something happens and you can't continue, we understand. Just let us know. Don't just disappear without letting someone know what happened. And, of course, all the other board rules apply. Pushing the limit is fine, but if it's not going to fly in the General Noise section, it won't fly in Survivor.

It’s fitting that the final round had that last day twist. Congratulations @discolé monade. You are the ASMB / UEMB Survivor.

It’s been a thrilling challenge. We’ve come along way: teammates and friends were made, a former janitor knew how to defeat the cabal, and we got some sexy back leg. Our final three all stood above the rest. Disco, the consummate storyteller, took us on a journey with Spike. Vela produced the banana sticker hype video we didn’t know we needed. The Annoying One braves parts of the internet others fear to tread. All are the best of the best. Now it’s time to choose the one that wins it all. The challenge was to create… challenges. The one who will have done it best will have crafted challenges that inspire the next survivors to push their teammates and themselves beyond their limits. Here are the submissions:

First off, my sincerest appreciation to the four who competed the last round. Molar, T_A_O, Vela, and Disco all put together superb submissions and all of you deserve recognition for sticking with us this long. Three of you will now get to move on to the final round: @The_annoying_one (2+0), @Vela (4+1), and @discolé monade (5+1). You three challengers helped discover the villain, elect a puppet politician, created a holiday, put on a celebration, and foiled a plot to ruin the fun. You have done it all, and like Charlie, you’ve made it to the end of the chocolate factory tour (minus the rampant anti-semitism of course). Now, one of you will succeed at taking the Game Master’s corner office. The challenge for you select few is to dethrone that arrogant puzzler with your own unmatched knowledge of the ASMB and the UEMB. Each of you must come up with two challenges: a team challenge and an individual challenge. The challenges must include: An [adult swim] or Toonami show’s character or setting (at least one). An ASMB or UEMB personality. Any task that can be completed without any professional software (Photoshop or Illustrator for instance), purchased items (like a subscription service), or specialized knowledge (coding with a specific computer language as an example). If there is a tie at the end, the Game Master will select a trivia question about the UEMB to determine the winner. You have one week to complete this challenge, so your submissions are due next Saturday 08/12/23 at 11:59:59 pm EDT. I will lock the thread at that time, so no exceptions. If your submission is incomplete, I’ll contact you to correct it before voting begins. Also, in case winning the title of ASMB Survivor and dethroning me isn’t enough, the winning will be getting a personalized Yeti Rambler Tumbler. Good Luck!

Here are the submissions…

The finish line is in sight, and the challengers are playing fierce. Now it’s time to vote. The parameters were the challengers had to “find” … a ridiculous or defunct attraction, a personal activity, and a goofy weapon. The best submission will be the one that has the most absurd “finds” and an amazing story to put them together. So, who did it best? Vote by Tuesday night 11pm EDT.

There you go...

Here is the fifth challenge and where we separate the contenders from the crowd. Remember the villain Spike came face to face at the thrilling conclusion of the first round? He is actually part of a cabal of custodial who feel they're being ignored. Seeing the celebrations for our newest holiday, they've decided to stage a protest in front one of the premiere events (think Joker in the Burton's Batman where he tries to take over Gotham City's birthday parade for... reasons). Someone has to stop them, and it's you the select few who've made it this far in the competition. This will be a scavenger hunt. Each participant will have to find a ridiculous venue (i.e.a website for a dilapidated amusement park), choose an activity they're doing at the time (i.e. a video of marital arts fails), and choose a weapon for fighting the janitors from inside their house (take a picture of it on your phone or find a web image of it - anything will work except a real weapon). Then you put it all together into a story in whatever way suits your talents: write a story, draw a picture, or just give us a play-by-play in your post (with the links to your scavenger "finds" of course). Our contestants this round will be @discolé monade, @Vela, @Seight, @blueraven1999, @The_annoying_one, @molarbear, and @ghostrek. Of this seven, four move on to the final round. Disco and Vela each crushed the competition last round and, as a reward for that tie, they are being awarded a bonus point each. I'm giving this competition just over a week to complete. Submissions are due: Friday, 07/28/23 at 11pm EDT. Good Luck ASMB Survivors!

We have quite the collection of celebratory events for Banana Sticker Day. Here were the entries:

So Team Dean held on to the lead this time and finished with a dominating victory… with that we have a holiday to celebrate. Just how are we going to do that? That’s your next task. Each of our competitors must now come up with a way to ring in Banana Sticker Day. It could be a banana themed recipe. It could be a funny “memory” from past holidays. It could be plans for a carnival with themed rides, or a concert. Try not to go overboard - when I said rituals, I didn’t mean cultish rituals with religious overtones. It doesn’t have to be family friendly, just light and in good fun. Submissions are due in one week, Sunday 11pm EDT. The top seven vote getters move on to the penultimate round. And, the big reveal: the six winners of immunity automatically get a vote. Good Luck, Survivors!