MEXobiologist

not for your wallet anyway otherwise, just depends on what you eat!

i'll pay you 50$ to go clean mine too

i'm so very very jealous right now

i'm not smart enough to understand that of which you speak, sir.

its not always as fruitful as people think. i almost never get drinks bought by people who aren't connected to me in some way. a girl friend, my friends who work at bars/breweries, or regulars at places i go to who also happen to be like, old neighbors and friends parents. its never a, "oh buy the pretty girl a drink" kind of thing... which is probably better anyways, and more of a "this one is on me fam" kinda thing.

yikes, smart move. i have a cat that likes to hoard and play with tiny objects. he also has allergies, so certain times a year he coughs and sneezes a lot. i'm always hyper vigilant during that time because i'm fearful that one of these days, it will be because he is choking on one of these. i swear he can smell them in my pants pockets after a shift at work when i've forgotten to empty them, then mines them out.

night moves?

actually, no. i spent way too much on the ingredients for dindin and the store i went to only sells fifths or larger of liquor. so i spent about 60$ last night as opposed to the maybe 25-30$ i would have spent if i went out. less if others or the bar buys me drinks. still was fun and worth it, my brother cracks me up and i totally forgot how much i love cribbage.

your own?

thats pretty awesome actually. meeting new people and having conversations, even if you never meet again, is seriously one of the funnest things to do imo. just shows there are still plenty of reasonable people out there who don't practice making snap assumptions about others. i did not end up going out. i drank too many jameson and gingers while making/eating dinner and lost the gumption for heading out alone. wound up drinking and smoking with my brother while we played cribbage. haha

is it the double oo sound? like zulu or juju?

it genuinely makes me sad to say, but i can't deny the truth in this statement. i have a million thoughts regarding this subject... but thats an entirely different conversation.

how did you know thats one of the only games i can still play?

i honestly enjoy going to movies alone as much as with other people. it probably helps that the theater is one block from my house and also has a bistro and bar. i enjoy hiking and long bike rides alone as well. once in a while its also alright to hit a bar, distillery, or brewery alone. usually you'll just end up in conversation with strangers, which can be pretty interesting. otherwise i target places that have live music and i know will be packed. then i feel less weird about being by myself. which may be exactly what i do tonight.

That last one tho! I guess, I mean, I don't actually think it's shit, it's just a bad choice of words. Though maybe subconsciously related to lack of confidence? Idk. Anyways, that's not something I've ever considered before and makes sense. Very reasonable thing to start practicing as well. Thank you. You've made some good points for me to keep reminding myself and practice.

kind of... <.< >.>

anyways, some of my girlfriends were giving me a hard time last night. they were saying i need to learn how to have a bad bitch boss attitude where it should apply, IF i want to see some success with any of my ambitions. they weren't wrong but i kinda don't even know how to break the mental habits.

this is for real the biggest problem because that is so very true. i have a sincerely hard time figuring out my own strengths... or admitting to those others see. i suppose tho, thats where the fake it part can start from.

i mean... but not allllll the time >.>

i need to practice new attitudes regarding both my appearance and abilities. like, learning how to agree with compliments given to me or learning how to have confidence in achieving goals. examples of how things usually go: coworker: "dang mal, you going out after work, you look so pretty today. did you do your hair yourself?" me: "no, i was just trying some new stuff but now i feel all self conscious cuz my hair is too curly, like curly sue. now i look like a child." that was rude and dismissive but honestly how i felt and this kind of thing happens a lot. friend: "you need to step up your game and start selling (my jewelry) in one of the shops downtown cuz these other chicks are gonns take up your business." me: "yeah but the commission is pretty high, so the mark up ends up being too much. no one is going to spend that much money on my shit."

BUT I'M A WOMAN kind of...

yes, actually. and very quickly learned that i am unable to maintain a healthy independence from it, unlike booze. cocaines a hell of a drug.... for fucking realz O_O

what would be second most arrogant to soda? i don't drink the sodas.

eh... when i'm high i think the opposite happens so i should just drink more?

thats actually pretty true i like to believe that i don't care what people think but thats probably some delusion i have