InsaneFox

We put “Free Candy” on the side of my friend’s van in tape, let it sit for a minute, and then peeled it off. And later that day the dirt collected just enough to be noticed. Never told him who did it when he spotted it a few days later.

*judges you in Republican*

I’m too stupid to figure that out. Synopsis: There’s a little old man, discount monopoly dog in a tuxedo, and I briefly sing to him.

Currently feeling nauseous from the antibiotics and other shit while I’m at work. Super exciting.

Keeping that one in the pocket for some innocent retail terrorism.

Yes. This is my life now.

I am enjoying the nostalgia of Classic. Though, mainly I’m just there to gank people.

Shut the fuck up, Patrick.

THAT GUY is such a rude dick...

Whatever you say, Harvey Birdlady.

Holy shit. Maybe you’re the alien?

Could be that he saved you from a deadly ninja ambush with his martial arts abilities.

Bonus points if he did save you.

I mean. I don’t remember seeing your face, so maybe?

While I OD on diahrettics at the same time?

He’s gottem swoonin’ already.

How do you have eagle eyes?

They would just laugh at my skinny penis.

Do it. I am your parent.

I, honestly, am just addicted to whatever drug they put on the ham and turkey. I’ll fucking do sexual favors for more of that sweet delicious lunchmeat crack.

I’ll try to keep this updated as I have more strange encounters. It turns out I think and say and do a lot of weird shit. I only consciously remember to record like a third of it. It also helps that the Lowe’s I work in is in hillbilly central. Good times.

Holy fuck. I like it.

Okay! All caught up!

Scrawling on bathroom stall: “The joke’s in your hand.” Me (aloud): “I don’t need to be called out like this.” Random person in next stall: “You okay over there?” Me: “Yeah, just being insulted by graffiti.” Rando: “Weird, mine usually invites me to go have a good time.”

Me (randomly, for no reason): Wakanda Forever! Will: Really? You don’t seem the type that would be into that. Me: Why? Because I’m white!?! Will: No, you just aren’t that extremist. Me: Wakanda Until I Get Tired Of It! Will: Now that seems more your speed.