Zenigundam

Watch your mouth, bro. That sentence means that you wanna fight me!!

Bro, who would you call a loser? *approaches in badass fashion* Also, this is pure embellishment. 🐹

Oreo McFlurry, you weak, frugal beta.

Au contrair, I will be the homewrecker who the Chad sends faux tough guy texts to while I'm sharing a McFlurry with my Stacy. Without a straw, sharing without a straw

You're officially GSH to me from this point onward. 👾

The Stacys will think I'm gay then, but the truth is I want to put my pen0r in some Stacys. Also, I have no clue how guy on guy sex works. 😐 Stacygundam 💏💪🐭

Athena will get hired for sure, but you're wrong and I don't even know what you're talking about because that's not how it works.

It's getting me furious. Every time this bus driver stops, I see an average looking guy with a baseball hat walking alongside a legal age teen, probably a senior ready to graduate. I know it's the beginning on summer and all, but this is getting me 😡😡😡!!!!

That day in Wal-Mart when I asked her out... she's all tatted up now, I still want her. ❤

Restraining orders aren't bad like you want them to be they just mean "I need a little time and space because I'm not sure about who I am", no negative stigma

When do the hot girls respond to my advances and remove their paaaaaantieeessss? 😦❤😐💪

It all depends. We don't know that for sure.

So they're probably very talkative.

There's so many problems here in NJ. I mean I'm even having problems with female coworkers at my job who keep shunning me, which is quite insane.

My personal favorite is a the finest Midwestern beer the world has to offer, and it is appropriately named Milwaukee's Best Ice because it offers a crisp, yet exhilarating experience to its drinkers, and its flavor is rich and satisfying. I don't want to sound like a beer snob, just giving you the inside scoop.

Kinda

Yeah because I'll be drunk out of my mind while it happens and then I can take twenty baths afterward, yeah but it is r3ally gross

Oh my brain is fried. I thought cuff-links meant handcuffs. Eh whatever I'm a t-shirt and jeans lone wolf so it's an honest mistake.

Option B for sure

Don't cuff girls to beds, they actually dislike that

Dude Netflix is so hipster

Why do you want the security guards to get hurt? 😦

And why do I save them? Because I love them... Because I'm always thinking of them... and I help them point out these weirdos in police lineups.

Funny because I happen to be a vigilante who saves hot women from creeps and criminals, but I'm so humble that my efforts are always unrecognized. 🏅🏅🏅

Brand new shirt 🎃