Codename: Jackass

starting a new game in a couple minutes

I don't know if I can.

I'm the host and I don't know why it's doing this.

that's weird I don't know why it's doing that

it's saying the same to me hmmm

done

THIS ONE TIME I HAD A CHEAP PLASTIC BONG AND THE BOTTOM JUST FELL OFF ONE DAY AND GOT BONGWATER ALL OVER ME. MISTAKES INTO MIRACLES, THOUGH. WE TURNED IT INTO A SHOTGUN PIPE AND IT WAS USABLE FOR YEARS AFTERWARD.

DID NASTY SMELLY BONGWATER O EVERYWHERE AND MAKE THE ROOM STINK LIKE DEAD ASHY WEED FOR HOURS AFTERWARD?

SAD DAY

>she doesn't know how to taste it

You need to slam it all as fast as you can.

You need to taste it the right way.

I didn't know where to take it, so I did what anyone would do in my situation.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

UH YEAH I WANT THE PRIME RIB WELL DONE YES WELL DONE I WANT IT WELL DONE

This is a prolonged insult, a gobble of spit in the face of art. A kick in the pants to God, Man, destiny, time, love, beauty, what you will. I'm gonna sing for you; a little off key, perhaps, but I will sing. I will sing while you croak. I will dance over your dirty corpse.

My 2018 regret is that I didn't kick enough ass or take enough names.

Soup or salad? Yeah, I'll take the Super Salad.

The first Matrix is a film classic and will be talked about for many years. The other two were rushed cash grabs by people who may have had good intentions but couldn't make their vision come to life.

How bad is it that I immediately recognized the hands without even reading the title?

I tried the reverse sear as endorsed by hundreds of no-name bloggers across the world. I had a nice New York strip, 2/3 pound, nice marbling, a good cut all around, and I fucked it all up. I overestimated its size and left it in the oven about seven or eight minutes too long, and by then it had reached an internal temperature of 145, carryover probably took it up to 150 while it rested. Still tasted fine for a medium well, but I wanted the fucking thing to be medium rare. I am stupid.

@Admin_Raptorpat would you be willing to bestow our champion and toilet bowl winner with custom ranks? I'll beg you on my knees.

BY VIRTUE OF MY COMPLETELY ARBITRARY DECISION SCORING THE MOST POINTS OUT OF OUR TOILET BOWL CONTENDERS, @molarbear IS CHRISTENED OUR TOILET BOWL CHAMPION OF 2018. CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR WINNER AND PARTICIPATION TROPHY WINNER. I LOOK FORWARD TO HOSTING A LEAGUE NEXT YEAR. HOPEFULLY WE'LL MAKE SOME IMPROVEMENTS ON IT.

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR 2018 UNEVENEDGE FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION @1pooh4u YOU PROVED THE HATERS WRONG AND CAN DRINK THE SWEET, SWEET ELIXIR OF BEING BETTER AT FANTASY FOOTBALL THAN OTHER WEIRDOS YOU COMMUNICATE WITH ON A CARTOON FORUM.

HE'S JUMPING OVER THE BAR HE'S PUTTING HIS MOUTH RIGHT UNDER THE TAP COPS HAVE BEEN CALLED IT DOESN'T MATTER