Codename: Jackass

"alpha males don't exist" exactly what a butthurt beta male would say if you're not going to help us lone wolf alphas get this place back into shape then you can step aside. :it:

A man that powerful does the fucking, not the other way around.

Tell me that Justin Trudeau isn't one of the most handsome prime ministers in the world today. I mean... just look at him. I've kind of got a crush on him just a little bit.

BRITISH COLUMBIA, LOCKED IN.

FROZEN IN POSE, LOCKED UP IN AMBER ETERNALLY BURIED SO CLOSE TO THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH YOU COULD ALMOST REACH

I could take Bubblegum. Gimme twelve rounds in the ring.

when I see him... I'm gonna take his face.... off! His face... off? Yeah... gonna take his face... OFF.

KNOWIN' NOTHIN' ABOUT NOTHIN' IT'S A BLESSING IN FACT ACID FACE JAKE, ACID FACE JAKE LIKES THEM DANCIN' STRAIGHT BOYS, MAKE HIS PUPILS DILATE DOES HE COME QUICK, DOES HE COME QUICK TELL THE DOCTOR TO COME OVER BRING EMERGENCY KIT EVIL OL' SCRATCH, EVIL OL' SCRATCH DRINK THE WATER FROM THE GUTTER IT'S A NATURAL FACT

It's Atlantean territory. Land claims have no meaning in the deep.

yeah

I break the rules.

You have to spend the rest of your life in that area.

Cilantro is love. Cilantro is life.

This one time we had a year-end banquet in my department at college. We were short on money and time that year and one of the grad students stepped up and offered her and her fiancee's services. It was a big spaghetti dinner, and it looked pretty good, until I had my first bite. It was nothing but cayenne pepper and a little bit of tomato. Not unbearably hot, but not enjoyable, either. Most of us choked down our plates in an effort not to be rude, but it was pretty bad. A couple of our upperclassmen had gone to their house to help the guy cook, since it was a lot of food. I remember one guy saying "As soon as Richard [the volunteer cook] said 'oh no, I need another bottle of cayenne pepper,' I stepped back and said 'it's out of my hands.'" At least the dessert was good.

All of those things would be a possibility, though, and I would do all of them.

It's all a joke. Most recipes have room for experimentation but this is all in the spirit of comedy. WAKE ME UP WAKE ME UP INSIDE CAN'T WAKE UP WAKE ME UP INSIDE SAAAAAVE MEEEEEE

I hate maze dreams. I don't have them much, but when I do, I awaken feeling slightly disturbed.

Yeah I mean I would definitely enjoy the Mediterranean, Italy, France, Spain, Greece, Morocco, Egypt, but there's just something about the boreal forest and Rocky Mountains that calls me. Also the Pacific Northwest climate and the sea. The only bad part would be that the whole thing could go kablam at a moment's notice. However, Anthony Bourdain says Croatia is just as nice as Greece but not nearly as expensive or overrun by tourists.

ALRIGHT WOLFGANG PUCK... YOU'VE BEEN HACKED!

WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT DID THEY DO?!

Those Canadians also know how to party, you just gotta know the right people.

What did the corn dog ever do to you?!

I bet the Donnie would be a real trip if he got lit on a bowl of premium.

Tomatoes are one of God's gifts to Earth and should be treated as such. Have you ever bitten into a warm, fat, ripe hothouse tomato, one fresh out of the garden? There's nothing like it. Slice that badboy up and add a little bit of salt and you have all you need. Supermarket tomatoes pale in comparison.

I get it, ketchup is very overpowering sometimes. I don't really go for ketchup as my corn dog condiment, but I'm a tomato freak, I like ketchup more than a normal person should, and I put it on almost everything. When I was a kid, my cousins used to tease me and say "[empty] would even put ketchup on his cereal!" I have never put ketchup on my breakfast cereal, btw.