Codename: Jackass

I could beat his ass. Debate over when that happens.

Just kick ass and take names.

I'm on a harsh mellow about 90% of the time.

The soda can is what I actually shove up my ass. The dildo is just a conversation starter.

Don't worry, I happen to have my AmEx Centurion Card burning a hole in my wallet right now. ha ha sure do I am rich and good with women, only Zeni can claim to do better.

I know I'm tired of getting Discover and Capital One pre-approved offers in my mail.

Do you take Discover Card?

So take what you can, when you can, while you can.

Yes, it's garbage, but does that mean that it's art?

I've never been wrong about anything in my entire life. CHECKMATE ATHEISTS

I have found the secret to eternal youth. Give me fifty bucks and it's yours.

Have members from the other competing teams shoot Nerf guns at the pole vaulters and the vaulters have to avoid getting hit and land in the bullseye to receive maximum score. Because it's NERF or nothin'.

Stop driving so much.

Couldn't you help me so that I may believe?

You gotta whip those dumbass kids into line. One of 'em gets snotty with you? You should be allowed to reach over the counter and give 'em a little backhand. Remind them of their place.

To make the Dunkin Donuts corporation more money, of course.

The service industry has a way of grinding the spirit out of even the most bright-eyed, optimistic souls. F for the Dunkin kid, I hope he doesn't eat a bullet one of these days.

0.53Ω 5.67 V fire immediate!

Why do you hate?

I applaud you for getting through it though.

I'll have to put two scoops in my bowl of CTC.

On second thought, I guess I'll just live with it. Maybe if I keep eating cereal they'll get the info they need and leave of their own accord. I'm so damn tired of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, though. What I wouldn't do for a bowl of Raisin Bran.

Yeah but they didn't have to do it this way. I could have told them, it's the fucking sugar. Always the sugar. I tried to scrape the eyes off the wall one day and they just wouldn't stop reappearing. If I try to burn down the house, they'll just follow me. Send help.