-Kudasai-

Ate all of Cookie Monster's cookies. He's currently in witness protection.

Gets harassed by shark mimes on a daily basis

Is in a Soundgarden mime cover band

Gets taunted daily by vengeful mimes after what he did to their other mime friend the other day. Sadly he isn't allowed to retaliate because it will violate his probation.

Got banned from all San Jose Sharks games

once had a shark for dinner

Once had dinner with Tony Stark

I feel this way about love songs

plays Monopoly with real money...lets just say that there have been multiple police interventions.

Is actually a clone of TAO

Wishes he was a porcupine

I don't like cashing in my empties, I just throw them in the trash. If people want to dumpster dive for them then knock yourself out.

Is unsure if orange is a fruit or a color

Is currently renting at my nudist colony

Hosts nudist shadow puppet shows ever Sunday night

Hosts nudist puppet shows of Ultraman every Saturday night

Cream of chicken noodle soup with peas and carrots...in the crockpot of course

Every time he goes to bed he always wakes up the next morning in a morgue

Wears a cape when eating a hero sandwich

Has a feet OnlyFans account. The problem is no one knows who's feet are being used but it's been confirmed that they are not her feet. It's also been confirmed who the number one fan is and I think we all know who it is so I won't bother to mention their name *coughs Dudeco* Excuse me I think I'm coming down with a cold

Is expecting a visit from Doomer next Saturday with that suspicious overnight bag

uses skeletons as a xylophone

Always carries a skeleton handcuff key everywhere he goes