jackiemarie90

There are currently people trying to ban me from a whole community right now in Berkeley. I barely go to the doctor to here, idk, I barely feel like I have support here and just want some space that will be good for me.

The weird social politics that I would mention in the house how a lot of white entitled men were giving me trouble. I complained so much that they kicked me out, and now that same white man is trying to block me from that the community. Especially if they are liberal, they will get real crazy how they understand your identity, tote you around to show their friends how they are "real ally" only to treat you like shit if you don't stroke their egos. The first white guy I dated hit me. The white men in Berkeley have seriously traumatized me and just have this strong urge to leave the country for a few months. I have a feeling the pct is gonna be filled with this dudes and I rather just go to place where it's consider the norm to not be in everybody's business.

Maybe, I'm still willing to take the risk at this point. Just got my booster.

Definitely risque, but I'm a risque person who has been there already, has spent a month in peru and survived, and has learned only more life skills since then. Life is short, I live for the pleasurable experiences in doing what I want. I don't know, I'd risk being stranded there than here, but if my budget falls to $500 I'll fly back to the US.

I could also fly by nearby to Korea, or Vietnam, Malaysia, etc and visit other countries nearby. Breaking up the 90 day rule. Showing my plans for backpacking shows my tourist long term plans. I've also been there before, and familiar with their strict laws. Only one I am concerned with is my new tattoo being shown in an onsen.

If North Korea gets involved, it might be. But there are now low budget carriers from Japan flying to the U.S. A bonus living on the west coast.

They aren't, and they are also required people be vaccinated with only valid covid vaccines. But they are preparing to open up soon.

I want to be away from the people here. I want to be somewhere I am forced to think for myself but away from anyone I know. I am not afraid of being exposed.

So I have been to japan before for 2 weeks. I went with my partner at the time, but I remember walking around and enjoying the sights alone. It's very tourist friendly place. But of course I would try to learn more of the language and stay in some capsule places to save money. XD

You input is still highly valuable, thank you. ❤️

And moving to Japan for a few months. I have enough money saved and I can get a really cheap plane ticket. Found out that Japan has a lot of Backpacking trails, so I could take my backpack and tent and save money camping a lot of my time there. My friend who lives in the co-op from Japan is going to go home around June, so I'll meet up and we can hang out. I've spent a few weeks outside the country on cheap hostels and airbnbs. Plus I know market food is so cheap in there. I'll eventually run out of money and try to be back in the bay by July. And I know I have made connections where I can get a job easily in Berkeley. And be able to come back in the fall. My life won't be over, I get time to breathe and immersive myself in a cultural experience.

whoa I want to apologized to anyone I scared. I feel like I want to kill myself, but currently do not have any plans. I am experiencing some major depressive symptoms from disorder, but it's mostly things like not communicating with my friends, and not getting out of bed. I barely made it to work like 25 minutes late today, this shit is affecting me, but there is something I haven't mentioned, and that's I was also kicked out by 3 to 4 people who I lived with. And the thought of pissing them off more keeps me going for a bit more. I'm actually still causing a ruckus at that house, but that's one when they try to block me further. I do want to say the whole story. But just kind of mentally laying low for now

What makes you want to leave if you don't mind me asking?

Do you have a plan to get a plot of land?

I wonder if they have shared housing like here. I'm slowly realizing like half the housing here is like 8 bedroom houses where everyone pitches in because the rent is so god dam expensive.

I had been considering the east coast for awhile now. Maybe DC/Virginia area. But I do not where to move and get a job and start a new life. I don't know if I want to be student for awhile. I feel too traumatized to go back to school.

Ok, I won't. I do want to come back, but honestly, really questioning if it should be in the fall. I want it to be longer. People here are selfish on another level. But in San Jose, it was the same. The only difference this time, was that I looked tough to my bullies. I didn't cry like a little bitch. But now I'm deemed to dangerous. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I wasn't a student over a year cause: depression in a global pandemic. Anyways, I'm really depressed and wanna kill myself. If you guys were to run away anywhere in the world to start a new life, where would you go? Seems like a good idea.

Luckily, my sister still talks to me, and if I were to hit a real emergency, and think she would send me the funds to get out. Well there was a movie made about this trail in 2017, Wild with Reese Witherspoon. Since then this trail has only grown in popularity immensely. Many people want to hike, but they limit the amount to protect the land. There have been several articles how the growing population disrespect and trash the trails each year. Many young people in their 20's and 30s do this as a life changing event but younger people also treat it like a partying scene much like backpackers in Europe. Articles about beer cans and toilet paper strew across ancient mountains really puts a bad taste in people's mouths. The permits are filled with rules for people to follow.

Happy belated birthday!

You need a permit to visit the highly protected, and beautiful national/state parks. It can be a logistical nightmare to get a permit through every park you end up walking thru, the pct long distance permit really simplifies the process where you can easily pass through without trouble from park rangers. Local trail towns also give you discounts if you show them your permit, in some cases, a free beer. XD

So one needs to have a gear supply before embarking on a trip, that can easily cost $1000 by itself. $300 dollars for a tent, $200 for a sleeping bag, $200 for a backpack, etc. I was lucky enough to live in a co-op with 60 students with some growing up doing boyscouts where they teach all of these wilderness skills. These people also already had the gear, so a few different friends gave me a tent, sleeping pad, sleeping bag, and our house also has a free pile where people donate items and people can claim them for no additional costs. I've found hiking boots, trekking poles in our house free pile easily. So the only gear I have purchased for myself is a new Backpack, a cooking pot, and a water filter. Easily all under $300. So once someone has the expensive gear, they just have to fund getting the permits, (which is free in this case), fund transportation to get to whichever trail they embark on, and nearly have enough food for the journey. Since I'm planning a 5 months backpacking trip, I'm gonna need to supply myself with food for 5 months. So people send themselves food to specific trail towns along the way to save money. I'm currently coordinating that with friends, but I do plan on having at least $2000 in my account to buy food along the way, and also replace any gear that might break down on me along this journey. Some people do end up easily spending $5000 on this particular hike, usually on food costs like eating at a restaurant at every town as a reward, you will hit a trail town every 5 to 10 days depending on your speed. Then spending money at the laundry mat to wash their filthy clothes, and they splurge on a hotel/hostel for the night at a trail town. Other than taking a break from the outdoors, this provides an opportunity to shower and charge all electronics. I am a broke bitch and plan on doing things on the cheaper side. Not eating at restaurants, not staying at hotels and camping on campgrounds with showers. I also plan on bringing a collapsible bucket to give myself sponge baths, and do laundry in as well. i might "splurge" by eating at a fast food restaurant once in awhile. XD

Mexico ^__^

So I got to bring my own food and purchase food in trail towns along the way. The trip can cost anywhere from $2000 and up. I'm slowly saving some powdered peanut butter, and I have my own camp stove. Top ramen, pasta, and oatmeal are favorites to cook. I have this stove in particular.

Chances are likely but won't leave till spring