I don't think anyone thinks you're an asshole. You seem to have this perception that most straight people hate gays, and a lot of the things you complain about being homophobic actually aren't. Portraying a gay character in a negative or stereotypical way isn't necessarily homophobic or hateful. Insensitive? Maybe. Ignorant? Possibly. Politically incorrect? Sure.
I get the feeling that you don't get out much and most of your time is spent on the internet actively looking for things that are homophobic. When you do that, the whole world is going to seem anti-gay because that's what you surround yourself with. This isn't an insult by any means; I think you just need to get out more and expose yourself to "real people". I think you'll find that most of them don't care about your or anyone else's sexual preferences. And even if they do care, it isn't necessarily because of hatred. Most of us have much more important things to worry about.