UEMB IMPROV RP GAMING THING.

[Distinct Lunatic]

Terrell showed a strong annoyed expression over the sudden charge of the feral beasts. As the pack swooped in around them, sizing up their prey. It definitely stood out to Terrell a bit. "Angry or not, even wolves wouldn't come out of the woods to attack groups of people..." He talked aloud to whoever was willing to listen; in the event that wolves do target people on roads or pathways it'd only be if there were individual people. As he went on about that one wolf started charging directly at him, leaping forward through the air. In seemed like slow motion in Terrell's perspective he exhaled as he closed his eyes, holding his fists against each other in front of him as he breathed inward, focusing his energy. Just as the wolf was within two feet of him he shot his right fist forward in one single swing, a very audible crushing sound was made as the wolves skull was shattered like glass.

"Hmph, look at you, showin' off." Banarr called out in the direction of the monk as he quickly hopped backward, dodging a wolf that had lunged at him from the side. "Perhaps," Terrell responded as he backpadeled to keep his distance from the creatures. "Needed to prove that I'm not all talk." Terrell added, which made Banarr grin widely. "Hehe, then I guess I should show off just a bit," he said as he reached above his shoulder, bringing out his blunderbuss and pointing it dead straight at one of the wolves,

and there was a clicking sound as he pulled the trigger and nothing happened cause he forgot to load his blunderbuss in the first place... Needless to say Banarr was feeling the heat of embarrassment from that one. He quickly backpadeled as he snatched his flintlock pistol with his other hand, and pulled the trigger and

His pistol managed to fire, but it only resulted in a flesh wound across the side of one of the feral animals.

[SwimModSponges]

"These can'tbe regular wolves," i agreed as i readied my makeshift bow. "When i came across them they were standing in a circle around a dead elk. And they looked to be chanting..." the party looked at me like a crazy person. "Fine, don't believe me. Still got these wolves to deal with."

*fires at injured wolf* D20 roll 9

A long crack in my bow appears as i let an arrow fly, the sudden change in the bows structural tension sending my arrow a few feet off course. I drop the bow for now and take a defensive stance with my halberd against the advancing wolves. 

*i am attacked by wolves* D20 roll: 8.

A wolf leaps at me as i swing the blade of my hafted weapon the sharp edge sailing through the air above the nearest wolf's head. Using the momentum of the failed attack I swing the long handle of the halberd and hold it as a shield between myself and the wolf, who bites down on the wooden shaft and refuses to let go.

"Motherfucker i am not losing this weapon too." I shout at the beast. Time for some of the intimidation tactics the orcs taught me. 

*i try to intimidate the wolf holding onto my weapon* D20 roll: 13

I roar as i suddenly rush the wolf pulling on the handle, momentarily setting it off balance and loosening its grip on my weapon. I tear it free and swing again at the beast, which dodges the blade and retreats back to the safety of the pack, growling and licking its chops as it stares us down.

"Well shit."

[Distinct Lunatic]

(Don't actually know how rolling dice works in D&D or if the d20 is rolled for fights like this. But for a bit of groundwork here, let's say if you roll 1-5 on something it's a pathetic fail, 6-10 ineffective but you can still counter or prepare yourself, 11-15 you succeed in a modest way, 16-20 do whatever you want)

[jezebelthenun]

OOC: Attack rolls are d20 to hit, and generally need to exceed the enemy's armor class to hit. Nat 1 is an epic whiff with something bad happening as a result.  Nat 20 is mad crit. Then there's a roll for damage using the weapon's specified stats and character modifiers. Unless everyone made a character sheet (I did) and the person creating the enemy gives them a fixed AC and HP, D&D rules can't work here.

 

I'll make a character post in a bit.  My kiddo has ABA now.

Edited August 12, 2020 by jezebelthenun

[SwimModSponges]

I didn't figure we needed to get that specific- interpret your dice rolls however you see fit. I generally figure above ten means you succeed, below 10 means you fail. 10-15 means you succeed barely/success has negative consequences, 5-10 means you fail but not that badly. Under 5 means you fucked up son, above 15 means you did a good job. Figure just throw weapon damage on the same roll- 15-20 it hits hard, 10-15 it hits barely, 5-10 you miss but can recover, below 5 means you fucked up son.

[jezebelthenun]

Neflet gallops to the group and attempts to discern the alpha. (Perception d20 = Nat 20 bitches!) Immediately, she is able to tell the leader apart due to his size and position in the pack.

She charges directly at the alpha, careening into his body (melee d20 =11 hit for d4(3)+3 = 6 damage).  As the wolf is propelled back, she rears and uses her hooves to deal another blow (bonus action melee d20 = 15 hit for d4(4) + 3 = 7 bludgeoning damage).  The wolf lets out a sharp yelp and remains prone.  Soon, his breathing slows.  He is clearly very wounded and struggling.  The other wolves remain poised to attack, but do not move.

[SwimModSponges]

"God-damn." I say while watching Neflet beat the living shit out of the alpha wolf. "She's done this before, I can tell. Hey, remind me to stop annoying her," I say to Banarr. The dwarf nods silently, his astonished expression matching mine. My attention turned back to the wolves, who, without their pack leader, seemed unlikely to rally a defense.

*I try to scare off the wolves* D20 roll: 1 (oh hell)

"THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS HOW YOU LIKE US NOW!" I shout as I bear my teeth and charge directly into the middle of the wolves. I am immediately bitten directly in the face which leaves a large gash running from my hairline to my jaw, slicing through and destroying my non-monocled eye, leaving me permanently half-blind. I scream as I curl up into a fetal position to cover my vital organs. The brigandine and heavy cloak I wore Protected me from the worst of the bites, and my spiked pauldrons and gauntlets; gifts from the Gnur-rusk, kept them away from the back of my neck as I stayed curled in a tight little ball.

Edited August 13, 2020 by SwimModSponges

[Distinct Lunatic]

(Never actually played DND since my A hole friend I work with hasn't offered to let me join him, despite the fact that his group meets up to do it every other weekend)

Banarr felt like he was caught with his pants down, being stuck with two firearms that were in need of reloading. He kept backpedaling and sidestepping the wolves surprisingly well as he went about reloading them both. Just as he was finishing up reloading his foot hit something as he was backpedaling away, the Dwarf began to fall backward just as one of the foul beasts lunged forward at him, Terrell intervened, coming at the two from the side, stomping his foot forward, hitting the wolf square in the side with enough force to knock it about five feet back, though the creature was still moving. "See what I was getting at?" Terrell stated in a scolding manner, referring to their previous conversation. Banarr simply scoffed, not wanting to admit that the monk was right. He then shifted his attention of chief Monocles, who was getting overrun by the vicious creatures. "Hmm... I think I might have something." The Dwarf took his time going through the many pockets his current attire possessed until he pulled out what looked like a cloth sack that was actually full of black powder, it being a spare that he'd use for reloading his firearms. (Intimidation) The Dwarven pirate tossed the sack way above his right shoulder, followed by firing his blunderbuss upwards, the following explosion wasn't dangerous by any means, but it created a pretty damn big pop, which scared the creatures off of the human.

[jezebelthenun]

The centaur rears once more, bringing her front hooves down on the skull of the alpha wolf.  The sound is reminiscent of a large branch being split by a mace.  Blood spurts onto Neflet's chest and face.  Undeterred, she swiftly canters to Toh-ken, attempting to lift him onto her back. (Strength skill check d20 = 13 +3 modifier = 16) She deftly slings her wounded companion over her back, careful not to injure him further.

"If any of you can detect magic, do so now!  Otherwise, we move out of here!"

Speaking more softly, Neflet addresses Toh-ken. "Can you heal yourself with one of those fancy bits you keep pulling out of your bag of tricks?"  Without waiting for an answer, she gallops past the remaining wolves, hoping to reach a safe distance in order to rest.  She looks back to make sure she's not being pursued (survival skill check d20 = 9 +3 =12), and though one wolf does follow, Neflet runs into the trees and the wolf gives up his chase.

[SwimModSponges]

My response consists of sobbing as i hold my hand over my missing eye. Neflet leans me up against the trunk of a tree, blood from a myriad of bites soaking into my armor.

Still sobbing, i tear off a chunk of cloth, grab a vial from my bandolier, apply the liquid to the rag, and wrap it around the wounded side of my head. 

D20 roll: 13

the pain subsides slightly, and I am able to get back on my feet after a short rest, continuing to patch up my smaller wounds. My eye is gone forever and i likely have an infection.

"You saved my life." I say to Neflet. "Words cannot express how much i owe you."

[Distinct Lunatic]

Banarr's actions involving the exploding black powder seemed to be enough to scare off any remaining wolves. The dwarf pirate and human monk proceeded over to the other members of the party. "Seems Mr. Monocles has seen better days." The dwarf commented, Terrell just sighing heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "This expedition of yours just started and we already have one of our own bleeding out." Terrell said, directing his annoyance toward the dwarf. "If we had a magic user among us, they could fix you up, including your eye- Put your hand down." Terrell shot down the dwarf as he raised his hand. "What!? Just cause I'm a dwarf you don' think I know how to use magic?" Banarr argued acting offended. "No, I'm saying that you, Banarr "Captain Shortbeard the pirate" doesn't know magic." That silenced Banarr. Terrell took a deep breath, using his training as monk to clear his mind of his frustrations before exhaling. "I think I have an idea." Terrell began as he got closer to the rest of the party. "I heard up in the forests atop this mountain is a Halfling by the name of Govias. Supposedly he's very experienced in making medicine and herbal remedies. Coincidentally it's along the way."

Edited August 13, 2020 by Distinct Lunatic

[SwimModSponges]

"Govias," i say wincing in pain. "I know him too, bought several herbs from him over the past year." I stumble slightly but steady myself. "About half the herbs in this pouch are from him, actually. Hey Banarr,  spare a smoke?"

*i ask banarr for a cigar* D20 roll: 17

"Here, have a couple, man," said the dwarf. "You probably need them more than me right now." I take a cigar and run its length below my nose. "Thanks brah." I say as i remove a small amount of filling and replace it with some  of my own. I light it, take a long drag, and exhale purposely. 

"My eye is gone." I say firmly. "It's the price i pay for my hubris. I still have the other one, and that's all i need." I clutch my amulet of Akatosh with my free hand. "Fate has brought me low today, so that i may learn what i need to climb tomorrow. Terrell, if you wish to visit the halfling I will follow, but i will carry my wounds as penance. Otherwise, its high time we get back to the search for the treasure we've been told of. One thing first though-" i turned to Neflet, pulled out my halberd, planted its point directly into the dirt before me, and knelt behind it. "A life debt. I hereby pledge my service to you in any capacity i am able until such a time as a life-for-a-life has been repaid. I swear in the name of Akatosh, Dragon God of Time."

[jezebelthenun]

Neflet, previously content to ignore the word debt, is now visibly flustered at Toh-ken's showy vow.

"You owe me nothing!  I did what I would do for any soldier in my company, and though you were chosen and not assigned to me, you are the company I'm keeping.  Besides," she motions to Banarr, "it was his powder trickery that set the wolves off of you.  Perhaps it's to him you should owe your life debt?"

Neflet's face flushes as she quickly changes the subject.

"This Govias, he can be trusted?  How far from our original path must we stray?" Straining to hide her discomfort, she attempts to force the flush from her face and take on an air of authority. (performance skill check d20 =3 -1=2) Not only does she fail to come across as tough, but she stammers through her words and nearly trips over her own hooves, turning a shade of crimson similar to that of a hothouse tomato.

Edited August 14, 2020 by jezebelthenun

[SwimModSponges]

"If he's the same guy I'm thinking about, dude's the fuckin' bomb." I replied, puffing on the cigar a few times before turning to Brenarr. "Brenarr, you helped to save my life with your ingenious gunpowder gambit." I once again presented my  weapon and kneeled. "A life debt. I hereby pledge my service to you in any capacity i am able until such a time as a life-for-a-life has been repaid. I swear in the name of Akatosh, Dragon God of Time."

Edited August 14, 2020 by SwimModSponges

[Distinct Lunatic]

"A life debt!?" Banarr blurted out loudly in surprise, "I haven't had one of those in a long time." The crusty little dwarf started stroking his beard as he thought of all the new adventures and money making opportunities this could offer. "I'll be needin' a new crew once I buy myself a new, stronger ship to sail and plunder in." Terrell on the other hand didn't want to listen to the blatantly loud dwarf spout on about his pirate nonsense. "This is neither the time, nor the place for that take." He said, not wanting to dawdle while one of their party members was torn up. "As for whether or not the Halfling can be trusted... Sure?" Terrell responded with a shrug. He noticed the centaur standing there, looking flushed. "I've never met the guy, but have heard of him from various sources while traveling throughout this region. If we're planning on going on a serious expedition, we'll need all the medicine and restoration items we can get. As for how far from our current destination, according to Captain Shortbeard over there's map, we'll actually be passing through that forest anyway... wouldn't hurt to stop by." With one party member banged up on their first encounter with a hostile, the other looking uncertain, and the other being a smelly, dirty pirate, Terrell questioned if their group really was up to the task of raiding some abandoned fortress. "It'll take us around six more hours just to reach the base of this mountain, if we move now we should reach the forest before nightfall."

[jezebelthenun]

"Then let's make haste."

Neflet looks to Toh-ken.  "Are you well enough to walk?  If you aren't fit for biped travel, I'll offer you my assistance."  Then, looking at the dwarf, "Not.  You."

Thinking for a moment, she adds, "This time, we stay together.  No scouting beyond what can be seen from our path.  If we must face a foe, let us do it as a united front."
 

[SwimModSponges]

"I can't ask you for any more aid than you've already provided." I say. "Besides, walking will do me good," i began to hobble forward, each step becoming steadier as i strained to keep my body in motion. "See? I actually feel better already. Most of the bleeding has stopped at least." I started the statement as a bluff to cover the emasculation brought on by my sobbing session, but in truth i did feel better. Much better, in fact. Must be the herbs. With a final long drag i finished the last of Banarr's cigar. "Right, smoke break over then. Let's hit up Govias."

 

[Distinct Lunatic]

Banarr felt his hopes and dreams be smashed to pieces as the centaur shot down the idea of riding on her back. "I'll have ya know, I'm also sufferin' a deep an' intense pain." His words got no reaction from anyone, the dwarf just sulking where he stood. "Alright then, lets be on our way." Said the human monk as he lead the way. Terrell figured that it'd be best if he walked ahead of the others, since he was still in good condition as well as not carrying anyone. Of in the distance he could see the forest covered mountain range, though they still had a long ways to go. Just the sight of the mountains however brought up some memories of his. "I didn't always want to be a monk..." He mumbled aloud to anyone interested in living. "I have a brother that's a couple of years older than me, he chose to live off the land atop a snow covered mountain. I'd say he most certainly fit the description of a mountain man. The last time I saw him, we got in a big fight, he kicked my ass, and I kicked his. Haven't seen him in about twenty years now." That being part of the reason Terrell came to that region, him initially passing through on his way North.

(Next post I make will likely be an encounter situation)

[jezebelthenun]

"I had a brother, as well, and our rivalry was strong, indeed.  Even as foals we were always looking for ways to get the better of one another, and to show one another up.  Especially when attempting to impress the Chiron."  Neflet let out a bemused chuckle before continuing.  "I remember once when we were both sparring for the position of Captain, he took a spill, and I decided to go and step directly on his. . . "

Noticing the horrified faces of her companions, Neflet quickly brought the conversation back to Terrell.

"Why did you wait until now to see him, Terrell?  What made you decide that this was the right time?"

[Distinct Lunatic]

Terrell simply shrugged at the centaur companions question. "Honestly I never saw him again because of how bad things were when we left off, and then after a certain number of years passed the idea of seeing him began to feel very awkward, and then after some more years it got to the point where because of how much time has passed it made it seem like there was no point in seeing him... Then I figured with how big of a milestone twenty years is maybe I should see him." Terrell shrugged, scratching the back of his head. "Also a few weeks back I received a letter that our kid sister is set to marry some noble asshole... Figured my brother would care to find out about that one." The only thing left to do now, was to keep walking.

_______________________

After what felt like an eternity just standing around waiting, Pahn finally got into position, ordering his men to take their positions, hiding behind the trees that lined the pathway. Six hours of dawdling around was incredibly dull and boring, the only thing that gave some enjoyment out of the experience was when other travelers tried passing through, Pahn and his crew acting as highwaymen to shake them down for coin, able to get in a couple of fights while standing around waiting. After all that waiting he finally caught sight of the individuals he most wanted to trade blows with, him holding a most intense grudge against the centaur that made him look like a fool, kicking him out of a window and speaking down to him. Pahn made sure to stay out of sight as he sized up the targets; the human monk looked to be very on edge due to the dwarven pirate playing a set of bagpipes. One of the party members, the ruffian, was banged up and looked incapacitated, riding atop the centaur. Pahn waited until the group of travelers were no more than thirty feet away before he stepped out ahead of them, cutting them off, not yet calling upon his men. "Haha, well isn't this a surprise!?" Pahn called out, a cocky, arrogant grin on his face. "I was wondering when we'd cross paths again, monk!" He called out, while a few of his men exchanged glances between themselves, "He says that but we've been waiting here all day..." One said to another in a very hushed and quiet tone. Pahn glanced over the ruffian whose name he never bothered nor cared to learn, locking eyes with the centaur. "I was most looking forward to making an example out of you, to show what happens to those that make a mockery out of me." Pahn held up his left hand, signaling the archers among his group to reveal themselves, standing on both sides of the path with bows drawn, trained on the group. "There's no way any of you are walking away from this." Pahn said in a most confident manner before visibly lightening up, smiling in a more calm way, "Though... if you all were to grovel at my feet and beg for my forgiveness, I suppose I could forgive you all, just this once."

[SwimModSponges]

"Be really cool if you did, bro." I said from Neflet's back, having accepted her offer for a ride after fainting on the road midway through the remainder of our journey. By this point my wounds had mostly healed, but a feverish head made me woozy.

*I ask Pahn to forgive us all, just this once* D20 roll: 14

"I said you had to grovel first." said Pahn.

"Like, for real?" I asked. The asshole nodded. "Well shit, I'm down for some groveling, wouldn't be the first time amirite? Anybody else wanna get in on this?" Nobody else did. So I hopped down off Neflet and hobbled over to him, kneeling down at his feet. "I'm really sorry dude. For real, I legitimately am  sorry."

"I don't even know you," said Pahn as he kicked at me head. He was clearly annoyed with me insincere apology. "Just, go sit over there." he said, pointing off at a grassy knoll on the side of the road.

"Whatever you say, JFK," I replied as I hobbled over to the grassy mound. Pahn stared at me like I was the babbling idiot I was before shaking his head and returning his attention to the rest of the party. I sat down in the fading sunlight, pretty happy with myself. After all, I never promised I wouldn't jump back into the fight later. And in truth I was feeling much better. The hobbling was mostly for show. Well... in truth the hobbling was to hide the weirdest goddamn erection I ever had. I'm sorry. You can't control these things. The whole goddamn ride here was awkward as hell and I'm pretty sure I'm never going to be able to ride a horse again without some really goddamn confused feelings. Fuck, that's why I didn't want to ride her in the first place. Whatever. That's in the past.

"Here and now." I pray to myself, holding my amulet of Akatosh, the mantra centering me in the present. "I walk along your path into the future." I took a deep breath, concentrating on the slight pressure of the cracked wooden bow slung across my back, grounding myself in the moment, in preparation for the moments to come. My bow was wild, shoddily made, and broken, but hey, so was I. And we are both capable. I removed another vial from my bandolier and sipped it, my woozy spell already dissipating.

 

Edited August 15, 2020 by SwimModSponges

[Distinct Lunatic]

With the ruffian... dealt with, Pahn turned his gaze to the remaining three party members, gazing over each and every one of them. "Terrell Horvat, almost seems like we're destined to keep running into one another..." He commented before gazing at the dwarven pirate that was fumbling about, trying to put his bagpipes away and ready his firearms. "Banarr Brewhelm... or "Captain Shortbeard" as you're best known as. You claim your ship was sunk following a battle with a kraken, when in actuality you were thrown overboard by mutiny." He then turned to the centaur, "Neflet Grovehold, searching for a purpose in life following the death of your people." As for how Pahn was aware of Banarr and Neflet's situations, coin can buy all manner of information. "You three have yet to grovel and beg for forgiv-" Pahn was interrupted as Banarr chucked a big rock (Dex roll 13+3=16) it smacking Pahn on the left side of his face, making a long cut that will definitely leave a scar. "Gah! You insolent little shit!" Pahn fumed in great anger, "Kill them!" Pahn shouted, the melee fighters came out of the woods to engage the group in battle.

 

 

[Distinct Lunatic]

(Not really sure how far this will ever get, if they'll ever be featured, but I do have it planned out for Terrell to have his family brought up)

Spoiler

Jannik Horvat - older brother - age 42

Korrina Evalde/Horvat - younger sister - age 23

Neither of them are likely to be party members, just NPCs they might encounter at some point. The brother would be Ranger class, sister would be some form of Fighter class.

 

 

[SwimModSponges]

"Welcome to the scar club, buddy!" I shout over to Pahn.

*i distract Pahn from issuing orders to his forces* D20 roll: 18

Pahn looks at me with rage.

"No seriously man, they're going to look really sexy when they're healed, believe me, we'll get all the chicks." Pahn abandoned the melee fighters he sent to attack the rest of the group, assuming they could take care of them on their own. Angrily he marched over to me. 

"Whoah there buddy, i meant no offense! You have no quarrel with me friend, remember? I'm just that smelly hippy that travels with those other folks you don't really like..." he stopped and glared at me. "Take a load off bro, they got this," i said, motioning to his warriors. "Here, if you want to hit something hit this." I take a few puffs from my traveling pipe and pass it along. After a few moments Pahn relents and takes a small puff himself, coughing.

"I didn't know you liked to get wet." I say to Pahn as the strong drugs i tricked him into smoking start to make his head swirl.

[Distinct Lunatic]

No offense dude but I'm completely disregarding that post. I've RPed for years and its always been a thing where people don't like having their characters controlled by someone else. Small bits I overlook, but taking up the persons action that way I'm not fond of.

[SwimModSponges]

Spoiler

I dunno man, I mean that's not "your" character, it's an enemy NPC you made, like my wolves. I'm not going to say Neflet didn't kill a wolf. If I rolled to attack Pahn instead, would you also disregard it? "Yes, and..." I rolled to distract an enemy, I rolled high, enemy is now distracted. I "yes, and"ed after you put me on Neflet when I specifically said I wouldn't ride her. Now I've got this weird boner and conflicted feelings about horses.

 

Edited August 16, 2020 by SwimModSponges

[SwimModSponges]

On 8/8/2020 at 11:17 AM, SwimModSponges said:

I o long as we shy away from taking other characters agency (saying *i slap chief*, rolling dice and and giving chief a realistic reply to your action and roll, that's cool. Saying *chief slaps my character* without impetus/dice roll is a no-go.) If a character doesn't respond for a bit assume they're still there they just don't have anything important to say at the moment.

 

[jezebelthenun]

1 minute ago, SwimModSponges said:

 

I thought this only applied to PCs.  I guess we need to revisit the "yes, and" mentality.  @Distinct Lunatic, you're planning on controlling A LOT of NPCs.  How about we do contested rolls on NPCs?  We roll for us and them.  Our actions can land, but that'll give the NPC some defense/agency. Player rolls stay the same. If the player rolls a Nat 20, NPC has no defense roll.  Otherwise, severity is based on roll difference.  NPC needs a Nat 20 to completely dink an attack/action.  If they roll high(15-19), the effect of the attack/action is lessened significantly.  They roll low (2-9) and they're effected heavily. 10-14 is a standard hit. A Nat 1 gives bonus to the PC.

 

What does everyone think?

[SwimModSponges]

1 hour ago, SwimModSponges said:

"Welcome to the scar club, buddy!" I shout over to Pahn.

*i distract Pahn from issuing orders to his forces* D20 roll: 18

Pahn looks at me with rage.

"No seriously man, they're going to look really sexy when they're healed, believe me, we'll get all the chicks." Pahn abandoned the melee fighters he sent to attack the rest of the group, assuming they could take care of them on their own. Angrily he marched over to me. 

*Pahn reaction D20 roll: 2

"Whoah there buddy, i meant no offense! You have no quarrel with me friend, remember? I'm just that smelly hippy that travels with those other folks you don't really like..." he stopped and glared at me. "Take a load off bro, they got this," i said, motioning to his warriors. "Here, if you want to hit something hit this." I take a few puffs from my traveling pipe and pass it along. After a few moments Pahn relents and takes a small puff himself, coughing.

"I didn't know you liked to get wet." I say to Pahn as the strong drugs i tricked him into smoking start to make his head swirl.

Fixed it?

[SwimModSponges]

Spoiler

I didn't figure this would ruin the encounter- Y'all still got a lot of melee dudes out there, and Pahn can always snap out of it or really any other "yes, and" you wanna throw in there to make it work for you.

 

[Distinct Lunatic]

@jezebelthenun@SwimModSponges

(As far as PC's go, I treat Terrell and Banarr as PC's and not NPC's. Pahn I consider a mix, for the sake of moving stories along I treat him as a PC, but he isn't one of the party characters. Sure he can distract him, but OOC things like having him do drugs I'm not fine with. As far there being a DM to this, with this being an open RP others are free to have their goes, but for the sake of moving on from the tavern I decided to be defacto DM for the first part of this, at least til the fortress arc is done)

 

(*edit, back on topic with PC's, I'm using Terrell and Banarr, but after this arc depending on what happens from there I'll probably relegate Banarr to being an NPC)

Edited August 16, 2020 by Distinct Lunatic

[jezebelthenun]

I also plan on making enemy encounters in the future, but I'm making my own encounter generator. It'll basically ensure a truly random encounter.  They'll have HP and AC, so there will be clear actions/consequences.  If that's not what you guys want, I'll scrap it and go more free-form.

[SwimModSponges]

I had a whole plan to go over to the university and deliver all these Orc war poems *pats backpack full of scrolls* but then a dwarven pirate showed up and I "yes, anded" it. 

I'm glad I did because this was fun.

Let's just say I didn't drug him.

Maybe we're playing checkers.

[Distinct Lunatic]

2 minutes ago, jezebelthenun said:

I also plan on making enemy encounters in the future, but I'm making my own encounter generator. It'll basically ensure a truly random encounter.  They'll have HP and AC, so there will be clear actions/consequences.  If that's not what you guys want, I'll scrap it and go more free-form.

No that's fine.

As for now I was wanting Neflet to get an action in before continuing, since her character was put on the spot.

[jezebelthenun]

Basically, guys, we are DMless, and we need to stick to that.  No one person controls the "story".  We can get sidetracked, split up, do ridiculous things, and create wacky things as we see fit.  Nothing in predetermined.  This isn't a planned campaign.  If it starts being treated like one, it'll stop being what it's meant to be.

[jezebelthenun]

Without emotion, Neflet stares at Pahn.  "Then an example I'll gladly be."

Unsheathing her sword,  she strides forward.  Sizing up the other attackers, she makes her way to the one closest to her. (Attack roll = nat 20  1d8x2 = 5/7 + 10 = 22) (NPC roll = nat 1 (unfuckingbelievable that this is not a joke)

Neflet rushes the fighter, thrusting her longsword into his belly and turning it on its side.  The man lets out a guttural scream and blood spurts from his mouth.  Removing the sword, Neflet lifts the man's barely conscious body with her other arm and hurls it at another of the melee combatants nearby killing the first man and inflicting (1d6 = 5) bludgeoning damage to the second.  

After shaking off the damage, the fighter comes for Neflet. (1d20 = 14 1d8 = 7)  He connects with the centaur's face with significant force, splitting her lip.  Neflet glances over at Pahn and gives a somewhat satisfied smile.  "So far, I'd say the example being made is excellent."

[Distinct Lunatic]

(I've never played DND so don't know what the majority of those dice rolls mean...)

Banarr stood back behind Neflet as he took his time putting his bagpipes away, wanting to be careful as to not damage them. He did shed an ounce of pity for all the underlings, it being poor leadership decisions that put them in this position. One of the archers off to the side took aim at Banarr, however he was quicker than the lad (Dex 10+2) with a flick of his wrist he had his flintlock pistol in hand and fired a shot into the young lads thigh, downing him and completely incapacitating him. (A character sheet for Banarr ddb.ac/characters/33965448/eaXvT5 )

As for Terrell, he cleared his mind of any and all distractions (Wis 12+0), to keep himself from feeling overwhelmed. He was surprised by the dwarf opting to incapacitate instead of kill, something he'd never have expected from a pirate. He noticed that Neflet seemed to be handling herself well, and didn't seem to be in any immediate need of aid. He glanced over in Pahn's direction, somehow Toh-ken was able to distract him and keep him busy. At that time one of the melee fighters attempted to strike Terrell from behind, (Dex 8+3), the grunt managed to graze Terrell, but he quickly reacted by swinging around with a low kick, knocking the fighters legs from under him, (Str 12+2) Terrell without wasting a second grabbed the down fighter by his collar, sending a swift punch to the side of their head to knock them out. Terrell won't criticize any of the others for killing out of self defense, but for him personally he avoids it unless it can't be avoided... which he worries might end up being the case for Pahn. (Terrell's character sheet ddb.ac/characters/32969003/zMibsk )

Pahn was distracted by the odd fellow offering him a pipe, whatever its contents were smelt most foul and nauseating. "Get that filth out of my face!" Pahn shouted in frustration, taking a step back. He internally decided that once the other misfits are dealt with he'll likely have Toh-ken dealt with as well, insuring no loose ends. As he turned to walk away from Toh-ken however, a stray arrow flew through the air, striking him in the thigh; Pahn falling over in pain, clutching his leg. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing!?" He shouted at his men, them being the only ones he could see that were equipped with bows and arrows.

[SwimModSponges]

"Heh," I said as Pahn fell to the ground, accidentally shot by one of his own archers. "There's an 'arrow to the knee' joke hidden in there I'm sure. Aaaaanyways...." I said while pulling out my branch bow, nocking an arrow, and standing above the incapacitated enemy. "Should have just smoked the PCP with me."

*I ask Pahn if he's feeling lucky, punk. Do you? feel lucky?* D20 roll: 9 (If I interpret the makeshift rules correctly, this means I don't attack [failed roll, but just barely]- which means Pahn doesn't get a defense roll)

"Nah, I'm just fucking with you man." I say sitting back down. Pahn glares at me from his incapacitated position. "Hey, you like warrior poetry?" I say as I dig among the scrolls in my pack.

"Ah, here we are- Axe Wound." I say as I unfurl the scroll and begin to read to my captive audience. "This one is actually about 200 years old- first spoken by the great orc sage Argul of the Rock..."

 

 

[Distinct Lunatic]

"I hate you." Muttered Pahn, aiming his words at the ruffian. "Fifty gold pieces to whichever one of you halfwits kills this guy!" Pahn announced loudly to his men.

"Fifty gold pieces you say!?" Banarr blurted out on impulse with his jaw dropped, followed by rubbing his two hands together mischievously, "Ol' Gods know the things fifty gold pieces can get ye." He chuckled to himself like he was plotting something, resulting in a kick to the side from Terrell as a way of saying "cut that shit out".

"Hehehe," Snickered the red-skinned Tiefling from his position far off in the trees, holding a simple bow at his side, him being the one that fired the arrow. "That'll show what happens when you insult a musician." The tiefling stated simply with a content grin on his face as he turned around and walked away, further into the woods. Waiting until he was out of earshot of the humans before he started playing his fiddle once more as he retreated.

[SwimModSponges]

The raucous battle stopped momentarily as the warriors stopped to look up at their leader, who was offering a fresh bounty. Banarr's voice was audible, though I couldn't see the dwarf among the taller bodies of the fighters.

"I mean... you've got a life debt on me Banarr..." I say. "If you want to cash that in for fiddy bucks I literally can't stop you."

"What about the rest of us?" shouted one of the soldiers. 

"Well, Banarr's got first dibs..." I started to explain as the soldiers turned towards the dwarf. "I'm sure he'd give you a share of the gold if you helped him catch me though..."

"What the fuck are you doing?" asked Pahn.

"I'm outsourcing your army." I replied, loudly enough for everyone to hear. "Right now, I am Banarr's legal property. Property that you intend to purchase from Banarr. Imagine you're buying a horse-" I stopped for a second as a small flood of confusing and disturbing thoughts raced through my mind. "Imagine you're buying a mink. Gonna make a coat or something, I don't know. Here's the thing- you paid for the mink, but you didn't pay for the mink delivery service yet. You follow?" Pahn did not follow. "Listen, all I'm saying- to everyone here- is that the mink isn't yours until its in your pocket. Have you gentlemen been paid yet?"

*I ask the mercenaries if they've been paid yet* D20 roll: 12

"Well no, but we've got, you know, contracts?" said one of the warriors.

"You've got contracts?" I repeated back to the man. He nodded and made general noises of affirmation, as did the others in the crowd I looked at. "You got contracts." I repeated with a tone of finality. "You know what Banarr's got?  Me. And after he sells me to Pahn, he's going to pay you all handsomely for bringing me to him."

"What the fuck are you doing?" asked Pahn.

*I try to trick the mercenaries into switching sides and kidnapping me for Banarr on the false assumption that he will then sell me to Pahn and pay them with the profits* D20 roll 11

"Dude how stupid do you think we are?" asks one of the mercenaries.

"I mean... how many numbers were written on those contracts you got?" I replied. A cascade of 'Go fuck yourself's issued from the assembled mercenaries, with a handful of them becoming demoralized and leaving the battlefield. 

[SwimModSponges]

I vomit on Pahn's shoes after another dizzy spell from the fever.

[Distinct Lunatic]

Busy with work and was hanging out with people the other day, will post sometime today

[SwimModSponges]

Its all good, this infection i got from rolling a 1 with thise wolves is really kicking my ass though. 

[Distinct Lunatic]

During that exchange between Toh-ken and Pahn. Terrell took immediate action to drop a couple of the hired goons that were most close to him, Banarr took the opportunity to retreat into the nearby forest, plotting something.

"Unless you wish to die now by my blade, you best bite your tongue!" Pahn shouted angrily, glancing over toward the ruffian as he tended to his leg. The arrow from earlier was poking through the other side of his leg, he took a deep breath before gritting his teeth and pulling it out from his leg, blood pouring down his leg. Pahn staggered a bit as he reached into a pouch on his hip, pulling out a glass vial as he took a heavy swig of a potion which helped close the wound, though he was still in a lot of pain.

[SwimModSponges]

"You better pack a lunch, buddy." I say to Pahn as I wipe the bile from my chin. "Lord knows I wish I did. Seriously though, got anything in that pouch you can spare for infections? Seriously I'm fuckin' dyin' over here mang."  By this point my luck was just about up, the advancing mob closing in. "Hey, you know what? Alkin berries are great for that, and they grow plentifully here. I'ma go try and forage some, then I'll be right back to fight. Deal?"

*I try to escape the fight, abandoning Neflet and Terrell (who are honestly doing pretty well without me so... it's not like I'm being a dick...) D20 roll: 16

I spot an opening in the hoard of warriors and lunge through it, rushing past the heavily armed fighters into the forest. I use my superior wilderness skills to evade them.

[SwimModSponges]

I catch the scent of something in the air as i run through the trees

D20 roll: 13

I smell Banarr's cigars, he must have escaped into the forest as well.

[jezebelthenun]

Neflet takes advantage of all of the commotion to head straight at Pahn.  Charging straight at him (1d20 = 16 hit for  1d4+3 = 5 bludgeoning damage) she trusts her sword at him, catching him in the side.  Bringing her front hooves up, she lets them fall on Pah for additional (1d4+3=7 ) damage. (Pahn total damage = 12)

As she steps back to ready for another attack, Pahn grins as one of the melee combatants rushes her (1d20 = nat 20 crit for 2d8 =4) and knocks her away.  Neflet shakes her head and readies her weapon to take on the new foe.  "Be right back", she says to Pahn over her shoulder.

[Distinct Lunatic]

(If Neflat wants to have the honor of killing Pahn that's perfectly fine. My intention for him being that about a day after he dies he gets brought back by raise dead instead of resurrection, it being funny if he were to gain a phobia of horses)
"Huh!?" Terrell exclaimed as he noticed that Banarr was nowhere to be seen, (on phone at work so don't have time to figure out dice rolls) "Didn't take that useless pirate for the type that would turn tail and run." Terrell commented aloud in an annoyed manner, being distracted by that and hit from behind by an arrow. It striking him in one of his biceps. Terrell suppressed the pain the best that he could, fortunately it was just a flesh wound and nothing that'd incapacitate him. The monk spun around facing the direction of the Archer, making a quick dash toward him, managing to get to the Archer before he could grab another arrow, striking him at the knee, dropping him with his kick. Terrell then stomped on the archers bow, snapping it in half to make it of no use.

"You wretched creature!" Pahn shouted after sending his men forward to deal with her. "Don't kill this one, boys." Pahn ordered, "If she's gonna prance around like a horse than she'll learn how it feels to be broken in like a horse." Needless to say this encounter wasn't going the way Pahn expected it to. He couldn't help but recount the encounter with the Tiefling and what it said. He clenched his fists in anger. "I am the first born of house Bishop, not a single one of you have what it takes to stop me." He held his longsword up in his right hand in a manner meant to rally his troops, but just as his hand was up in the air, the loud pop of a pistol was heard as a metal piece fired from the forest to the side of Pahn, hitting the noble in the hand, blowing off his ring and pinkie finger, his sword falling to the ground as he clutched his hand in agony, having permanently lost 2 of his fingers. Off to the side the Dwarven pirate was chuckling triumphantly.

[SwimModSponges]

I follow the scent of Banarr's cigars and reach him just as he pops off a shot on Pahn, taking out his hand.

"Oof, sucks to be that guy." I say, stepping from the underbrush. "Chicks dig dudes with sexy scars. The do not dig dudes with fingers missing." By this point very few of Pahn's warriors remained in the battle, the rest being defeated, demoralized, or lost to the forest. Those that were still engaged in combat were mostly preoccupied with Neflet and Terrell, but a handful (heh) of soldiers  turned their attention to our vantage point  after Banarr took his shot and launched a counterattack.

*Pahn's soldiers attack* D20 roll: 3

Only a few soldiers were able to disengage from Terrell and Neflet, None of them carry ranged weaponry and cannot attack our position easily. 

*I draw my makeshift bow on the warriors* D20 roll:19 Enemy roll: 11

I am able to take a few shots before the bow breaks to  pieces in  my hands, each finding its mark in my enemy. None of the soldiers  are killed, but they have all been incapacitated.

"It's on y'all to finish these mofos up!" I shout down to Neflet and Terrell.

 

 

[jezebelthenun]

Neflet can't help but let out a triumphant hoot as Pahn's fingers go flying.  She runs the nameless enemy through without taking her eyes from Pahn's bleeding appendage.  As she turns to face him, her smile fades.  "I cannot take joy in your demise," she says gravely, "but only because you die as an ignorant fool.  It would have been so much more fulfilling to battle an adversary of wit and tact.  May you be reborn as a more intelligent creature.  A slug, perhaps, or a bugbear.  I pray that we do not meet again in that life or any other."  She lifts her sword and readies her final strike.  (1d20 = 17 to hit 1d4+3=7 bludgeoning)  Neflet brings he sword down hard  into Pahn's chest, breaking bone and piercing his heart.  It is clear that he has taken his final breath.

Turning to look at the remaining fighters, Neflet shouts to none of them in particular. "Your leader is dead.  Leave at once and nobody in my party will give chase.  If you stay and fight, I promise you will be receive little mercy." (Intimidation 1d20= Nat 20)  Each man glances to Pahn's lifeless body, then to the centaur's bloody sword.  Perhaps it is the knowledge that they will not be getting paid, or the nerve of fear that Neflet has struck with her words and action, but the men beat a hasty retreat.  As one of the men passes next to Neflet, he tosses a pouch and a shield at her feet.  "An offering," he stammers, "so that you might remember me in the future."  Within the pouch, Neflet finds (5 gold/# 1d6 = 5) 25 Gold.  The shield is (1-5 garbage, 6-10 worth 2 gold, 11-15 a decent shield that adds +3 to AC or worth 10 gold, 16-20 a rare magic shield that negates melee damage 3 times per long rest worth 100 gold 1d20 = 14) a decent shield that offers some protection and could fetch a moderate price if sold.

Edited August 21, 2020 by jezebelthenun