the girl ive been with was in a heavily abusive relationship before me. rape, physical and mental abuse, etc. she told me i deserve better and she really isn't ready yet. it's what pushed me to the edge. I had thought my heart dried up a long time ago and this pushed me to the edge. i gave everything and it still wasn't enough, i tried so hard to make her happy and treat her right and there was nothing i could do. i cried for her and her past abuse first and then a surge came and everything went from her to me in my head, and i couldn't stop. everything i've repressed came out, I guess i have her to thank. I've been capable of loving other people but never myself until 3 nights ago when this happened.
so.. that's what's been going on.